And now it's time for the "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" memorial Worst Lyrics of 2008, March Madness-style tournament, this year a terrifying mélange of appalling oral-sex requests, bargain-bin philosophies, grammatical atrocities, and cringe-inducing pillow talk. To elevate the drama, I provided a trusted colleague with...
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SADIST'S DELIGHT This tweeter's been spending a lot of time behind bars lately. And no, he doesn't mean he's been mixing martinis moonlightin' down at Durant's. Actually, he's been hanging out with chicks in stir. But that's not what you think either, so get your noggin out of the Roger...
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Art PHX
The latest shake-up at the Arizona Republic that resulted in numerous layoffs this week also includes the elimination of one day of publication for the six-year-old Scottsdale Republic insert, sources tell New Times. The insert, originally designed to better compete with the East Valley Tribune's Scottsdale edition, previously ran five days a week but...
By Ray Stern Democrat Tim Nelson was making a strong showing in early returns, but his Republican opponent, Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas, bounded to a respectable lead as polling station results came in about 8:15 p.m. Thomas had 53.01 percent of votes compared with Nelson's 43.1 percent, with 32...
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American Hot Wax
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Let's get this straight: Millions of dollars are being hacked from Arizona university and college budgets. Entire university programs are being eliminated. There's talk of actually closing down some of ASU's satellite campuses. ASU employees are forced to take furloughs. The downtown Phoenix arts community is tenaciously hanging on by...
Chris Martinez may be the best local rapper you've never heard of — but not for much longer. The 22-year-old producer and MC, who records under the name KonGeror (or, more recently, just K.), has called Arizona home since his family moved to the Valley from El Paso, Texas, nearly...
The latest issue of the League of American Orchestras' trade magazine Symphony features a cover story on Michael Christie, the 34-year-old conductor of the Phoenix Symphony and the Brooklyn Philharmonic. As is the case with most trade magazine stories, the article is flattering in the extreme. So much so, Christie...
You may recall the Bird item I did a few weeks back that involved a process server who dressed up like a UPS delivery guy to serve a Redflex ticket. The situation brought to mind Seth Rogen's stoner/process-server character in the film Pineapple Express who dons all kinds of disguises...
Kids, this is why paying attention to the small details is important. The one school redistricting scheme on the ballot that seemed to have passed in last month's election has been shot down because the state's redistricting law uses the phrase "qualified electors" where it should say "voters." Martin Schultz (pictured), chair...
So, Maria, what took you so long? The two e-mail missives below just arrived via third parties, and though I've yet to receive an official confirmation from the AZ Democratic Party, the letter from party Executive Director Maria Weeg announcing her resignation seems genuine. (It ain't April Fools' Day, I...
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It's not hard to find a good meal in the Coronado District. Drive up the stretch of Seventh Street between McDowell and Thomas, and you'll find quite a few decent options, from casual (That's a Wrap) to classy (Trente-Cinq 35). To get to the newest and most intriguing restaurant in...
There are very few film critics I can read without getting at least mildly peeved at their gasbaggery. But the critics' pool on the geek-fan site RottenTomatoes.com really ticks me off, particularly in regards to the Biggie Smalls biopic Notorious, which I caught over the weekend.If you're a fan of...
By Randall Roberts You don't need a half-wit music critic to tell you it's been a remarkable year for America, one historians will be discussing and researching for centuries to come. War, financial collapse, politics, technology: All have been dinner-table topics for many Americans. Racial barriers in 2008 were demolished...
Amazon just announced their list of the Bestselling Albums of 2008 on their MP3 digital service. At first glance you might not think much of the list: Coldplay, Death Cab For Cutie, 3 Doors Down, Beck, and Radiohead are all near the top of the list. What is remarkable and...
If you know anything about Mormons, it's that they typically avoid coffee and other products with caffeine. Yet many Mormons recognize that caffeine isn't exactly heroin, and there appears to be a healthy debate within the Church of Latter Day Saints over the use of the drug. In the wake...
Few people look good in a police mug shot, but this must be one of the worst sides of Sir Charles Barkley ever seen.In a story covered extensively today by the national media, Barkley was arrested last night in Old Town Scottsdale on suspicion of DUI after he allegedly ran a...
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The ugliest donnybrook to hit the Phoenix Police Department in years started with one man's divorce. That man, Jeff Pataky, wasn't a cop. He had nothing to do with cops, not at the time. He was just a software engineer-turned-blogger whose marriage had ended. But before all the issues in...
You may have heard about Scottsdale resident Danica Patrick today, because it's big news when hot, young female race car drivers get speeding tickets. We were going to pass along this tidbit to you with little more than a smokin' picture of Danica, 26, (at left) from her official Web site. Then we...
We recently discovered this old picture of Conley Wolfswinkel having a cute little pool party, and since the portly developer is in the news today, we thought we'd share it with you. Trouble is, we're not sure of the identity of the other swimmers. All we can say is that...
Bobette Riner publishes an electricity index used to promote renewable energy, and she bought a brand-new Prius last year to shoot the bird at the oil companies. "I felt so smug for a while," she says. "Especially being in Houston." She was lucky to score the car from a dealership...