Neil Schwartz
Audio By Carbonatix
Don’t get us wrong: We go to music festivals for the music. But don’t discount the entertainment value in eavesdropping on the interactions of your fellow concertgoers.
Two days of Innings Festival at Tempe Beach Park yielded some hilarious snippets of conversation. Here are some of our favorites.
Overheard conversation between two dudes walking over to see Billy Strings:
Dude 1:”Legally, you can possess it but you can’t buy it.”
Dude 2: “But what do you say when they ask you where you got it?”
Dude 1: “I found it in a field, officer!”
A security guard watching avian drama:
Those black birds are bullying the pigeons.
Finding your way around the festival could be tricky until you memorized the layout.
Roger Ho for Innings Arizona
When using landmark directions goes wrong:
Man 1: “I said we were under the bridge.”
Man 2: “Hey, there’s like four fucking bridges here – (points) over there, there, that one right there, this one up here. Bridges all the fucking way around.”
Man 1: “Yeah, you’re right. I shoulda been more specific.”
While waiting for an open stall in that weird, bustling port-a-potty corral:
If we were on mushrooms, this would be TERRIBLE.
No. Jon Bon Jovi was not St. Vincent’s backup guitarist.
Jim Louvau
Woman pointing at St. Vincent’s backup guitarist:
Is that Jon Bon Jovi?!
Grade-A parenting moment:
Kid: Dad, what’s a Foo?
Dad: They used to call UFOs Foo Fighters.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I have no idea.
Kid: So … they don’t know kung-fu?
Dad: If they did, they’d be Fu Fighters. Not F-O-O but F-U.
Kid: F-U?
Dad: That’s right … Uh, maybe don’t say that to other people.
Kid: Okay … Can I say F-U to Mom?
Dad: Especially not her.
Upon almost bumping into a woman wearing a flower crown near the entrance:
Don’t be sorry, be silly.
The worst person ever (for context, she said this to her boyfriend while paramedics were making the crowd move back so they could evacuate someone who had collapsed before Foo Fighters):
If you ever take me somewhere again and we don’t have VIP, we’re through.
Not Kings of Leon.
Jim Louvau
Before Foo Fighters took the stage:
Woman 1: I’d like to hear “Sex on Fire.”
Woman 2: That’s Kings of Leon.
Woman 1: Oh, what am I thinking of?
A young woman giving her friend drug advice:
In my youth, I did an occasional cocaine.
A bluegrass connoisseur at Billy Strings:
Banjo noises! We got banjo noises, people!
A good investment? Someone thinks so.
Neil Schwartz
A woman browsing flower crowns from a roving vendor:
This is such a great investment!
Someone opening a can of the ubiquitous Liquid Death:
Oh, it’s just water.
Two friends taking pictures before Fitz & The Tantrums:
Am I in the right spot? Is my crop top short enough?
Not everyone is built for late nights at music festivals.
Neil Schwartz
Group of friends talking about how late to stay at the festival:
I don’t turn into a pumpkin, I turn into a dick.
While waiting in a very long line to get in:
Do they use lube in this line or just in the VIP?
About St. Vincent:
Guy: She says “fuck” a lot.
Girl: I like it.
Someone walking away from Low Cut Connie’s set:
I was eating out of the garbage can all last night.
A stranger making unsolicited comments to a woman who was just trying to eat her nachos in peace:
That is a massive nacho if I’ve ever seen one. Like, holy shit. Like, that would be too much for me. Holy shit. You’re not even going to eat half of that. Holy shit. Cheers.