The Seven Worst Theme Parks in the World
Theme park or death trap?
If you've ever been to Dinseyland/World/Universe, you know first-hand how magical a day at the theme park can be. But last week when we shared the south-of-the-border theme park, La Caminata Nocturna, where guests enjoy a four-hour "illegal experience" akin to crossing the US/Mexico border we got to thinking about all the other crazy ways people can spend money to be entertained.
And if that's not bad enough, we've dug up a list of some of the most politically incorrect, disturbing, and downright terrifying (in a bad way) theme parks from the far corners of the globe. So come, take a ride on Skid Mark Rollercoaster with us. (Really, that's a ride.)
Rancho Solano Preparatory School: Fiddler on the Roof Jr.
TicketsThu., Apr. 27, 7:00pm
Beauty and the Beast by Ballet Etudes
TicketsSat., Apr. 29, 2:00pm
Thunder From Down Under
TicketsThu., May. 4, 8:00pm
Chris Rock: Total Blackout Tour 2017
TicketsSat., May. 6, 7:00pm
Kathleen Madigan: Bothering Jesus Tour
TicketsSat., May. 13, 8:00pm
6. BonBon Land Holme Olstrup, Denmark
The ride looks as terrifed as we'd be to get on.
Danish sweets boiler, Michael Spangsberg, created this park with the best intentions but with ride names like "The Farting Dog Rollercoaster" and "The Water Rat," something must have gotten lost in translation. The family-friendly theme park could benefit from renaming attractions like "Skid Mark Rollercoaster," which leaves us feeling either insulted or creeped out.
5. Dickens World Kent, England
Dark, gloomy and totally Dickens.
"I just wish I could go back and experience the smells and sights of dreary 19th-century England," said no one, ever. And yet, this theme park somehow exists, drawing visitors with promises of a house haunted by characters from Dickens' novels. Don't expect Mrs. Haversham in holographic 3D form; this haunted house uses "special effects used in the Victorian Times." Sweet.
Other attractions include "Crime and Punishment," a tour through a "damp prison," and a Victorian Schoolroom. Please, Mom, don't ever take us here.
4. Grutas Park - also known as Stalin World Grutas, Lithuania
What's a Lithuanian mushroom exporter to do after amassing a fortune selling fungi to the West? Build a Soviet prison camp, of course. Complete with Vladmir Lenin and Josef Stalin statues, barbed wire fences, re-enactments of Soviet festivals ... and a mini-zoo. While the owner Viliumas Malinauskas claims he founded the park as "a gift to future generations," some find the park to be insensitive toward the country's painful history. Gee, can't imagine why...
3. South of the Border (or Pedro-Land Park) Hamer, South Carolna
Totally acceptable -- by 1970 standards that is.
South of the Border website
Sure, the "border" could refer to the North Carolina/South Caroline boundary, but judging by this sombrero-sporting, poncho-wearing tourist trap mascot, Pedro, we're going guess it's not. The $40 million enterprise includes gas stations, a campsite, fireworks, an amusement park and to top it all off (excuse the pun) a giant, revolving sombrero.
2. The Holy Land Experience Orlando, Florida
These days, who has time for a religious pilgrimage? At Holy Land Experience they've created replicas of holy spots and re-enactments of sacred moments in one, convenient location. Head over to the Shepherd's Field for a re-enactment of the angel's telling of Jesus' birth, the Whipping Post to see a recreation of the place Jesus was scourged, or He is Risen, a natural hedge recreation of Matthew 28:6. Of course, the park also includes a 2,000-seat auditorium church with depictions of Jesus' resurrection and ascension.
More importantly, does this get us out of church this weekend?
1. Love Land Jeju Island, South Korea
Three words: Erotic. Sculpture. Park.
We always imagined the ideal honeymoon as a romantic, private, getaway in a beautiful and exotic location but then again, who really needs at that mood setting when you and the honey can be bombarded with sex and everything sex-related at Love Land. They've got penis door handles, huge
grassy knolls breasts, and over 100 sculptures of various sexy encounters. And just in case you saved it till marriage, or like, totally skipped out on Sex Ed class during high school, the park runs sex education films.
Nothing can explain as well as these photos (which are only sort of NSFW...)
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