Audio By Carbonatix
At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert’s own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we’ll take care of the rest.
This week, we suggest better alternatives for our alleged offenders. Enjoy.
13.)
Charges: Burglary, transportation theft, dangerous-drug possession, possession of burglary tools, theft, possession of drug paraphernalia
Last week, we made fun of a guy for a tattoo that said “AVONDALE,” as we figured it would be the crappiest town in Arizona tattooed into someone’s skin. We were incorrect, and regret the error.
12.)
Charges: Fraud, dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
Didn’t Age Very Well Barbie™
11.)
Charges: Probation violation
Still better than Michael Beasley.
10.)
Charges: Driving on a suspended license, failure to appear
Yep, that’s the ideal place for the state flag right there.
9.)
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, marijuana possession
(Especially not this one.)
8.)
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, failure to pay a fine
Parents, show this one to your kids while delivering your “don’t do drugs message” before bedtime.
7.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing
C’mon guys, you can’t just dangle a steak in front of him like that.
6.)
Charges: Criminal damage, disorderly conduct
Here’s a guy who looks like he’s been holding his breath for a minimum of 20 minutes.
5.)
Charges: Shoplifting
Natural blonde?
4.)
Charges: Criminal damage, disorderly conduct
Now there’s a guy who could chuck some wood.
3.)
Charges: Possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of prescription drugs
Your, um, member is showing.
2.)
Charges: Misconduct involving weapons
Do you think this guy knows “void” is a synonym for “worthless”?
1.)
Charges: Aggravated DUI
Just like Cadillac’s parent company, General Motors, it looks like this guy is going to need a bail-out. (GOT ‘EM!)
