5 Things Men Secretly Hate About Women

Let’s face it, guys are willing to overlook a lot in lieu of getting laid. And the ones that aren’t, well, you’ll find them in the comments section below. That being said, nobody’s perfect, and bad habits are a two-way street. So while you may harbor some secret hatred over idiosyncrasies of the opposite sex, chances are they feel the same. Here are five things you ladies may think men love when, in all seriousness, they don’t.

See also: 5 Things Men Secretly Love About Women

5. When you wear too much makeup

The foundation of a good relationship doesn’t lie in your actual foundation. I know it’s exciting to get dolled up once and a while, but try to make sure you’re still recognizable. While the right amount of makeup can enhance your natural beauty, the wrong amount can turn you into a drag queen who’s almost unrecognizable the next morning. Guys don’t know a lot about makeup but their pillowcase the next morning tells them if you’re wearing a shit-ton.

4. All your scented crap

When forced to choose between a freshly washed, yet unscented, partner and a girl who’s wearing four shades of artificially scented sprays, oils, and lotions, most guys would prefer the former. A little dab here and there is fine, but please stop asphyxiating them with evening jasmine, cinnamon vanilla, summer citrus, and whatever else you grabbed when you raided that Bath and Body Works.

3. When you talk in a baby voice

Yeah, I know it’s cute when either of you on occasion talks to your pets in a little voice, but your boyfriend is a not a pet. He’s an adult. You’re an adult. Let’s all just agree to use our adult voices. When putting on your best efforts to be sexy or cute, try not to cross that line between feminine and slutty toddler.

2. When you try to dress them

It’s perfectly fine to get them the gift of clothing every once in a while but don’t try to change their whole wardrobe. Whether you approve of it or not, the things he wears have some value, be it sentimental, monetary, or some material statement of his identity. Again, he’s not a pet, he’s not a child, and he’s certainly not your Ken doll.

5. When you try to drink as much as them

Because, let’s face it, you (probably) can’t. While many of us would love to be more like the scotch-drinking Robin of How I Met Your Mother, the truth is that your average guy can drink more than your average woman. Trash talk all you want about how you can throw shots with the best of them, but just be warned, you will lose all your badass sex appeal the moment this backfires. Better to just know your limit than to be sticking your head in his toilet a few hours later.

Editor’s note: This post has been modified from its original version.

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