1/3 – 1/28 Our couch-potato habits are so ingrained that it takes a drill sergeant to get us into shape. Too bad we recoil at the thought of a military haircut. Ladies, on the other hand, can sign up for the Phoenix Adventure Women’s Boot Camp and still keep their…

When New Year’s Eve comes a-knockin’, this town’s a-rockin’. With almost every style of bash going down, it’s hard to find some wallflowerin’ excuse to stay home watching Regis Philbin filling in for the ailing Dick Clark. Even Indo-Pakistani folks can kick it like Kali and welcome the new year…

SAT 1/1 The year 2005 is only mere hours away, so you’d better get cracking on some resolutions quick, lest your better half will think you’re slacking in self-improvement skills. They already guilted you into snuffing out the cigarettes, so consider whipping your fat ass into shape. Plus, you’ve somehow…

12/24-12/25 Can’t afford a plane ticket to go home for the holidays? Don’t end up alone in your crummy apartment with a lukewarm TV dinner when you can surround yourself with a flock of female impersonators at Pookie’s Cafe, 4540 North Seventh Street, where drag queens perform their usual Vegas-style…

TUE 12/28 These Beavers are anything but sloppy. Sure, Oregon State started the 2004 season by posting a dismal 1-4 record (including getting walloped 49-7 by Cal-Berkeley in October), but head coach Mike Riley turned the team’s fortunes around, and OSU won five of the next six and clinched a…

12/31 Appearances often are deceiving. You’d probably expect a public performance of Aesop’s fables to be some infantile feel-good production aimed solely at children. Just like the sheep that mistook the wolf as one of their flock, you’d be dead wrong. Gerry Cullity and Adele Dodds, two members of the…

THU 12/16 Snow? Tony “Scarface” Montaña would bury his face in it, but we’re not talking about blow. Sonik magazine’s “Snow” party on Thursday, December 16, at Devil’s Martini, 4175 North Goldwater Boulevard in Scottsdale, boasts two tons of real snow — the natural, non-homicidal-episode-inducing kind. The party includes six…

FRI 12/17 Those missing the fast-paced, hard-hitting action of hockey courtesy of the NHL lockout may find a willing antidote this winter within the Phoenix Coyotes’ own Glendale Arena. Since landing in the Valley a year ago, professional lacrosse has struck a chord with a small but dedicated group of…

Quick, who’s got the best selection of local music in the Valley? Zia? Hardly. Eastside Records? Possibly. Leslie Barton? Definitely. With hundreds of CDs bursting from two gigantic Caselogic CD wallets, it’s an understatement that the 35-year-old promoter of Modified Arts is plugged in to the local music scene. She’s…

TUE 12/14 From what you’ve come to expect from emo groups, Novi Split — which visits Modified Arts, 407 East Roosevelt, on Tuesday, December 14 — fills the void in the way only the sensitive side of post-punk can. Offering sound design that is as adverse to “over-production” as slugs…

Y’all remember the “Free Tibet” movement? Back in the late ’90s, it was the counterculture cause célèbre, on the lips of every hippie and alt-rocker from Burning Man to the East Village. But now it’s 2004, and while hipsters have focused their ineffectual efforts toward more trendy causes, his holiness…

SAT 12/11 Normally we wouldn’t recommend walking the streets of Cave Creek after dark, given the number of bikers — inebriated or otherwise — who frequent the hamlet’s roadhouses and saloons. But we’ll make an exception on Saturday, December 11, for the second annual Cave Creek Luminaria Run. More than…

Wed 12/8 There comes a time in every rocker’s life when he grows weary of performing that signature hit, night after night. Even the metalheads of KISS are bound to stop wanting to rock ‘n’ roll all night (and party every day). Not Dick Dale. “The King of Surf Guitar,”…

12/3-12/5 Since ASU’s put the clamp-down on fraternity partying, Sun Devil brothers must find other outlets to express themselves. For example, the ninth annual Pharaoh Step Classic Stepshow, which takes place on Saturday, December 4, at the South Mountain High School Amphitheatre, 5401 South Seventh Street. Witness the Mu Eta…

Sat 12/4 Athletes of the Valley are probably used to navigating hazardous mountain terrain or dusty mountain trails, but could they manage climbing a 12-foot-high ramp covered with Crisco? Such obstacles await at the Phoenix Urban Adventure Race on Saturday, December 4, where — in addition to almost 25 miles…

Sat 12/4 When y’all are ready to wade through them thar beer cans and lawn appliances that ain’t worked fer years, park yer double-wide at the Pumphouse II, 4132 East McDowell, for the Miss Trailer 2005 Pageant and Trailer Trash Party on Saturday, December 4. They’ll have all the PBR…

Fri 11/26 Graduates of the “new school” of punk rock often have difficulty receiving validation from “old school” punks, the people who remember punk as the ultimate anti-commercial loogie hocked in the face of disco and self-indulgent ’70s guitar rock. Luckily, co-ed band Tsunami Bomb has received that validation, participating…

Thu 11/25 As the joke goes, they do celebrate Thanksgiving in Great Britain — only on September 6. Why? Because that’s when we Yankee blokes, back in 1620, fled jolly old England. (Ba-dum-cha!) But seriously, folks, desert-dwelling Britons (wanna-bes, that is) will celebrate T-Day with a party of their own…

Provided you somehow fight off a T-Day invasion by the extended family with the usual gourmet gorge-fest, relieving your ravenous relatives (not to mention snuffing out the usual psychodrama), you’ve still got yet another dilemma: They’re clamoring for some post-gluttony goings-on. Forestall a potential family feud with a good old-fashioned…