The whole point of tubing on the Salt, as we see it, is to take clothes off, but Salt River Tubing & Recreation encourages its patrons to don beastly duds for Halloween on the Salt River. If the whole deal seems incongruous, not to mention hell on the tan line,…

Hold the phone, PETA rads and animal-husbandry sickos. No animals will be injured or violated at Goat Kegger Monday — at least no four-legged ones. The weekly bash is one of the best deals in town for sultans of suds. Buy a Goat Head cup for $5 and receive bottomless…

Though the Kon Tiki hotel made the most repugnant Blue Hawaiians on God’s green Earth, we wept when it was razed in 1993, marking the end — we thought — of Phoenix’s once-thriving Polynesian-lounge scene. But the stone gods are smiling again thanks to a new generation of retro hipsters…

Goofiest Valley bar? Gotta be a tossup between Giligin’s and Monkey Pants. Granted, Giligin’s has Chuey the Midget Bartender and the Wheel of Fear Factor. But Monkey Pants cooks up its own brilliantly kooky promotions like Mustache Mondays and Wigger Wednesdays. One of its most popular ventures is Fish Races…

There’s nothing like being in a public place without the public. We’ve achieved this higher state of being twice, and we’re not about to tell you where or how. Find your own deserted public crib to crash. As an example, take the Phoenix Zoo, a facility that’s difficult to navigate…

Back in April, everyone thought the Los Angeles Dodgers would run away with the National League West, and that the San Diego Padres, with their kick-butt pitching staff anchored by Jake Peavy, Chris Young, and All-World closer Trevor Hoffman, were the Dodgers’ only speed bump. Well, as this is being…

Here are some terms rock critics — always in search of fresh rock-critic terms — have used to describe the music/persona of SoCal singer/songwriter Chloe Day: “predatory,” “lethal,” “seductive,” “eerie,” “hypnotic,” “trashy,” “vaguely dangerous.” We’re here to tell you that Day’s not all that, but just a St. Louis refugee…

If you’re a one-percenter chain gang with full-body tats, you’re not gonna be welcomed with open arms by many retail establishments — especially ones located in the ´burbs that include the word “Fine” in the title. So we were frankly surprised to learn about Stogie Cutter Bike Night. Every Thursday,…

If your idea of fun is getting smacked in the skull by a large rubber sphere, AZ Dodgeball might be for you. The most semi-dangerous game has come into its own since the release of 2004’s Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, and even non-geeks now embrace it. Tuesdays, Thursdays, 7-9…

Mom-and-pop bait shops beware. You’re about to sleep with the crappies, ’cause the retailing behemoth Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World is here to put you out of business. The growth of the Springfield, Missouri, company bears an eerie resemblance to that of Wal-Mart — only it tramples outdoors competitors instead…

No offense to downtown, but if you’re fed up with rank skate kids and street people whizzing in alleys, shuttle uptown for Phoenix Art Museum First Friday. You’ll have free access to the museum’s exhibits — including the newly opened “On the Street: The New York School of Photographers” –…

Roosevelt/Grand is the undisputed kahuna of the Phoenix arts, but the First Fridays concept has started to seep out of downtown like a stream of bubbling goo. One of the places the sticky stuff has landed is the long-suffering stretch of Seventh Avenue between Indian School and Montecito, which seems…

Hank Aaron may not care for Barry Bonds — he says he won’t be present when Bonds breaks his all-time home-run record — but we never get tired of watching baseball’s Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and his awesome bitch tits, as we’ll get to when the Arizona Diamondbacks host Little…

Most bikers are big ol’ teddy bears — unless you’re that unfortunate fellow at Altamont or you cause a chain-reaction hog knockdown à la Pee-wee Herman. Barring that, you’re welcome to wet your whistle and play a friendly game of pool with some local crotch rocketeers during Bike Night at…

Somewhere in TV Land, Madge the Manicurist is soaking some poor sap’s digits in Palmolive and claiming the stuff softens your hands while you do the dishes. Vile propaganda! The odious chemical compound is slowly eating away your paws, though rotting extremities are the least of your worries. Your kids…

Monday has historically sucked for everybody but football sluts, but it bites no more thanks to Shimmy, a weekly multimedia mega-mixer. Dig this shit: DJs Diosa, Hyder, and Felicetti crank trip-hop, house, neo-soul, and liquid funk while aerosol artists graf it up, and classic flicks unspool on the patio. Mondays,…

ASU Men’s Basketball head coach Herb Sendek talks like a pipsqueak girl. It’s unsettling, really. But the former North Carolina State head man definitely has cojones. After leading the Wolfpack to five straight NCAA tourneys, Sendek left his lofty perch in the college-basketball stratosphere called the Atlantic Coast Conference to…

ASU Men’s Basketball head coach Herb Sendek talks like a pipsqueak girl. It’s unsettling, really. But the former North Carolina State head man definitely has cojónes. After leading the Wolfpack to five straight NCAA tourneys, Sendek left his lofty perch in the college-basketball stratosphere called the Atlantic Coast Conference to…

For one night a week, the McDonald’s at Scottsdale Pavilions is the coolest fast-food joint in the world. By our calculation, about half of the chain’s trillions and trillions of burgers sold have been served up at this single location since the advent of the Rock-and-Roll McDonald’s Classic Car Show…

Lascivious ladies, get your ya-yas — and dead presidents — out for Girls Night Out featuring America’s Most Wanted Male Revue, in which the AMW hunks flex their pecs and shake their moneymakers for your pleasure. Fridays, 7:30-10 p.m.; Saturdays, 7-9 p.m., 2006…

Be he ever so humble — and he really is, as you’ll see — there’s no one quite like William Fucking Reed, host of the Shake! Motherfucking Dance Party. First off, what’s up with the middle moniker? “My parents weren’t very original, I suppose,” he says with a laugh. So…