Medium Cool

Marshall McLuhan, high priest of pop culture, is well known for his phrase “the medium is the message.” In a way, ASU’s ABBA (A Buncha Book Artists) has espoused this expression. The student-run organization of interdisciplinary artists and writers is dedicated to promoting the book as an art form in…

Must Love Hogs

You were one of those cool kids who rode a motorcycle in high school and lost your virginity on the train tracks. After you graduated, though, you broke up with your squeeze, cut your hair, got a job, and bought a four-wheel boat anchor. It majorly sucked, dude. Well, maybe…

Art Film

Want the closest thing to a lucid dreaming experience? Then check out Nadia Hironaka’s “The Late Show” video installation, in which a gallery space and its viewers are as much part of the exhibition as the multi-channel video montages and surround-sound audio. Her work in this show attempts to dislocate…

Fleeting Success

You’ve just broken up with your lover, and feel debased because of how you handled yourself in the end. “I can’t live without you,” you sniveled like a rat fetus while sobbing at her door, overwhelmed by the memory of never having been breastfed. We think you need a lesson…

Tour de Phat

Bikes, costumes, and a parade. What more could one ask for? How about beer, circus acts, and live music? Heck, yes. Tour de Fat has all of this covered, and Tempe has been chosen as one of the eleven cities to which the Tour will spread its cycling gospel. Fat’s…

Club Red

You got knocked out on the curb the other night. As the sky tilted from starboard to port above you, your mouth filled with blood. You reveled in the sensation, feeling the thrill uncoil in your stomach. Consider Bloodfest 2008 the culmination of your growing sanguine fetish. With the rave’s…

Queer Notion

You heard that NYC’s infamous queer rapper Cazwell is coming to town, and not even a wholesome breakfast of fellatio from your No. 1 wife can keep you aligned. With his standout sound and carbonated persona, Cazwell tends to skew perceptions, especially when he performs his raunch-o-rama single “All Over…

The Golden Girls

The other night, you were taking your dog Sigmund for a stroll when you suddenly fell into a gaping manhole. You plummeted down the dark utility vault, landing on a springy, cushioned surface. In the distance, you could see a group of gymnasts exercising in a frenzy, their clean-shaven bodies…

Needlepoint of No Return

You may think that knitting and lace-making are for the old and sexually doomed. For you, they conjure up images of Swiss grandmothers knitting socks all day, too comfortable and plain-brained from living on dirty war money all of their lives. Truth is, both crafts have been re-transfigured in the…

Webcomic Relief

You’re riding the bus to work again along with all of the regulars. There’s Katerina, the Ukrainian expatriate who can’t seem to keep her feet still. She speaks to you once in a while, but in brisk and incoherent sentences, as if quoting the headlines in the day’s paper. Then…

That Old Block Magic

Ask any nerd piss-ant what he knows about Japan and he’ll probably blather on about manga, the island nation’s sadistic game shows, or those Tokyo vending machines that specialize in used celebrity underwear. We don’t deny that a lot of strange things emanate from that cooped-up otherworld, but there are…

Kollectiv Soul

You grew up in a fascist household where creativity wasn’t encouraged. At age 2, when you drew an abstract version of your dog, your parents took note of its asymmetry and shook their heads critically. They couldn’t tolerate anything but pure genius, and if that wasn’t achievable, they enforced utter…

Nice to Meat You

Your vegan upbringing turned you into a meat-craving psychopath. At age 9, you offed your hippie parents and hid their bodies in your digestive tract. Ever since, you’ve found it hard to control your beastly instincts and have started roaming with the zombie crowd. At night, you loot the butcher’s…

Full Leather Jacket

Your Mama and Papa always told you to stay away from strange men, especially those who wore leather outfits in public. According to them, these strangers were prime qualifiers for the Neighborhood Watch’s registry of dubious citizens. Truth is, your parents were probably worthier of a re-education than those they…

Hail the Conquering Heroines

The ladies from the Tempe-based indie-rock trio Juicy Newt are hard to deter. Since 2003 – and despite limited prior experience with their chosen instruments – they’ve been plowing forth with gleeful determination. According to their Web site, the band is driven by a desire for “world domination through rock…

Anti-Repressant

You follow a certain routine each Sunday: wake up at the crack of dawn, do some yoga, and eat organic eggs and ham. Then you head off to church and convene with the Lord until the starchy hold of your collar wears out. You spend the rest of the day…

Home is Where the Art is

You buy your books from Amazon.com and your housewares from IKEA, and you only grant foreigners and their charming accents passage rights to your uterus. What’s wrong with you? Haven’t you ever heard about giving back to the community, about appreciating and encouraging local efforts? Support homegrown art by checking…

Flesh Photography

Artist Connie Imboden, whose work is featured in the “Classical Illusion” exhibit, says on her Web site, “There’s nothing more repulsive or seductive than flesh.” Yep. We agree, especially after checking out her underwater photographs that capture the human body in surrealistic contortions and reflections. The images – which Imboden…

Minstrel Cycle

You’ve spent hours crawling through the Internet, laying your greasy eyeballs on porn galore. After a while, you feel disgusted with yourself and the world and realize that straight porn gets you down – too many hollow moans, skewed hierarchies, and asses in the air. You want something else, but…

Naughty and Nice

You’ve got your partner on all fours, bucking and rearing. The two of you met through an online dating service for equestrians, and you thought she was the one. But now, observing her on the floor, doing a botched-up half-pass and neighing uncertainly, you realize she lacks commitment. You suddenly…

Do the Write Thing

Writer’s block has you in a chokehold, and you spend many a night writhing naked on the kitchen floor, awaiting some flare of inspiration. The ceiling lights shine down on you like football-stadium floodlights, and for the pity of the gods, you put on a spectacular show of self-flagellation, perfected…

Hollywood Ending

Onetime Hollywood strongman Michael Ovitz used to make news for all the wrong reasons: voicing paranoiac slurs about the “gay mafia,” causing schisms in the Mickey Mouse fantasy factory during his star-crossed Disney stint, and manhandling the help as documented in Suzanne Hansen’s book You’ll Never Nanny in This Town…