50 Signs You’re Dating a Basic Bitch

By now you’ve probably heard about the basic bitch. (Oh you haven’t? Better watch this Funny or Die PSA). The basic bitch is hardly something we women aspire to be — though, in truth, we do cross into basic territory every once in a blue moon (case in point, drinking…

Game CoLab to Launch Gaming Incubator in Phoenix

Well, we’ve got some good news and some great news. The good news is that Game CoLab, the independent co-working organization dedicated to developing the local gaming community, has just received a good chunk of change: a one-time $33,798 grant from the City of Phoenix, plus a $4,000 grant from…

In Dom Hemingway, Jude Law Hoes for Greatness

Going bald is the best thing that ever happened to Jude Law. Britain’s prettiest export did the best he could with his burden of good looks. He played a genetic ideal in Gattaca, a robotic ideal in A.I. Artificial Intelligence, and in The Talented Mr. Ripley, his golden god perfection…

The Railway Man Is Too Punishing for Its Own Good

Has it ever occurred to contemporary commercial filmmakers that maybe audiences could take a movie’s word for it that a character has been tortured? That perhaps implication and skilled acting could communicate the idea with sufficient power, and that we might all be spared the screaming and limb-breaking and slow-motion…

The Pornozombies at Nearly Naked Theatre: The Death Rattle of Camp?

There is no critiquing a play like The Pornozombies, now onstage at Nearly Naked Theatre. The Pornozombies is intentionally bad theater, a two-act so deliberately self-conscious that it never appears to be sending up either pornography or cheesy zombie movies. Plays like this offer a couple of hours of harmless…

Your Cinco de Mayo Drinking Guide 2014

Special Events Chandler Downtown Public Library Courtyard 100 E. Commonwealth Ave., Chandler Got a Chihuahua that’s both cute and quick? Those wee beasties will be celebrated during Chandler’s Cinco de Mayo Festival, where they can participate in both the yearly Chihuahua races and beauty pageant, which are the hallmark of…

Tom Hiddleston Wants to Wear Jeans for Once

Tom Hiddleston can pull off extreme looks. In The Avengers, he strutted around in Loki’s two-foot horned helmet. For Midnight in Paris, he finessed F. Scott Fitzgerald’s prim finger waves. And in his latest, Jim Jarmusch’s vampire romance Only Lovers Left Alive, Hiddleston lounges bare-chested in velvet-cuffed robes. The only…

The Other Woman Doesn’t Let Its Cast Be Great

The sexual politics of Nick Cassavetes’ decidedly un-romantic comedy The Other Woman are intriguingly European and, at their core, kind of groovy. Wronged Connecticut wifey-wife Kate (Leslie Mann) seeks out her husband’s mistress, sexy city-slicker and high-powered lawyer Carly (Cameron Diaz), looking to her for answers: Why is my husband…

The Last Laugh

Arizona may not be the comedic breeding ground that is Chicago, New York, or Los Angeles, but plenty of stand-up acts have started in the Valley and ended up in the spotlight, including Steve Allen, Sandra Bernhard, Pablo Francisco, Greg Proops, Robert Schimmel, Gary Shandling, and David Spade. Now the…

Moore Than Words

He’s been called one of the “sickest, naughtiest, and cleverest” authors alive. For Christopher Moore that’s not an insult, but a great honor. His newest work, The Serpent of Venice (a sequel to 2009’s Fool) captures the writer’s signature style in a tale of debauchery.Crescent Ballroom may be known for…

Park Place

The weather’s slowly warming up and before we know what happened — wham! Another burning summer is here. So, before it gets too hot to realistically spend time sitting around outside (except poolside, of course), get your butt over to the Biltmore Fashion Park for Movies in the Park. The…

Art Attack

New Times is throwing a party, and you’re invited.Artopia is an evening of art, entertainment, food, and drink. The party also features the 2014 Big Brain Award finalists, a group of 15 up-and-coming creative types who are excelling in visual art, performing art, culinary art, design, and, this year’s shiny…

Alone Together

Entitled “Phoenicians Discredits [sic] the ‘Dry Hate’ State through Stories,” local creative Hector Raul Primero’s new show is an exercise in positivity.As a result of frustrations following 2010’s Senate Bill 1070 (affectionately referred to as the “show your papers” law) and a greater distaste for Governor Jan Brewer and Maricopa…

Spirited Away

The local craft cocktail and liquor scene has exploded over the past year in Phoenix, so it’s only fitting that small batch booze distilleries get their very own special event in Chandler. The first of its kind in the state, the Chandler Craft Spirits Festival will bring local and national…

Winless vs. Lossless

What’s the opposite of “undefeated?” You could just drop the “un,” but “defeated” doesn’t quite convey the shame of losing every single game you’ve played. “Winless” is a little better, but it still lacks a certain dishonor. How about “perma-beaten”? “Ever-embarrassed”? . . . Debacle in perpetual?Whichever you prefer, use…