Don’t worry, folks — President Obama will not have to take into consideration the thousands of people who wanted Arizona to secede from the United States.It’s not like the president would’ve given a rat’s ass either way, but one of the young bucks at Cronkite News Service noticed that the…
The Arizona Cardinals have placed porcelain doll quarterback Kevin Kolb on injured reserve, meaning he’s done for the season.That move leaves the Cardinals with three options at quarterback for the rest of the suck-fest known as the 2012 season: starter-turned-backup-turned-starter-turned-backup-turned-starter John Skelton, rookie Ryan Lindley, and some dude found on…
The people who smuggle drugs into the United States from Mexico really have some ingenious ways of getting the goods over the border.There’s the old trick of hiding the drugs in fruit; we’ve even seen piñatas. We’ve also seen at least one instance of someone trying to drive over a…
Republican Congressman Paul Gosar claims he wants answers to his questions about alleged federal-building bomber Abdullatif Aldosary.A letter from Gosar’s chief of staff to immigration officials says Gosar wants to know why Aldosary — whom Gosar falsely claims is a “known terrorist” — wasn’t deported.See also:-Debbie Schlussel: Why Did Paul…
Abdullatif Aldosary — the Coolidge resident accused of detonating an “explosive device” outside the Social Security Administration building in Casa Grande a couple weeks ago — pleaded not guilty today on two charges related to that bombing.Aldosary, an Iraqi refugee, faces just one charge related to the actual bombing, and…
A Sedona man plans on jumping off a very tall rock on December 21, and he believes he will be landing in a cosmic portal…
What Mesa resident Laurie Kelly told police was “a manic sexual rage inside of her which she cannot control” has landed her a stint in jail, and a few years of probation.That’s because police said she gave beer to some random homeless people in a Mesa park, and told them…
Conservative political commentator Debbie Schlussel can sometimes wildly miss the mark on her points — occasionally dabbling in conspiracy-theory-level stuff — but she’s got one hell of a question for Republican Congressman Paul Gosar.If Gosar knew in 2011 that Abdullatif Aldosary was a “known terrorist” — which, above all, is…
Kenneth Cyrus may not be the sharpest child-pornography-collecting tool in the shed.According to police, the married, 36-year-old Phoenix resident uploaded child pornography to Facebook — ya know, the website where you upload photos for all of your friends to see…
See also: -Arizona Organix Steps Out as the State’s First Authorized Medical-Marijuana Dispensary This is near-heresy to say in my current position as a scribe for an alternative publication, but when Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts writes that our state’s medical marijuana program is a “charade,” I kinda agree with…
“Well, it can’t get any worse than that,” we’ve said for several weeks now of watching the Arizona Cardinals lose in miserable fashion.After seeing the Cardinals lose by 58 points — by a score of 58-0 — to the Seattle Seahawks, we’re now wondering if it’s actually possible to be…
I wish I’d been at the November 29 meeting of Legislative District 25 Republicans for the election of new officers and state committee-persons. All the haters were there, and the haters had their asses handed to them when their pro-hater slate, for the most part, went down in flames. Which…
Here’s the state of pro sports in the Valley: baseball’s in the middle of the off-season, the Phoenix Suns have already found the basement of their division, the Arizona Cardinals totally suck, and the Phoenix Coyotes don’t even get to play.We can further explain that last part: the NHL announced…
After searching an additional area of the Salt River basin for 19-year-old ASU freshman Jack Culolias, Tempe police finished their search of the area Friday evening, almost one full week after Culolias was last seen at Tempe Marketplace.Investigators had finished the search on Thursday, but were back searching again the…
The co-winner of the gigantic Powerball jackpot has been identified as Fountain Hills resident Matthew Good.Although we made a baseless guess that he lived in an estate on a golf course before winning millions upon millions of dollars, it turns out that he’s just a moderately wealthy fellow in a…
Isacc Quesada was involved in a simple fender-bender in Phoenix on Saturday night.What ended up happening, though, left one man dead, injured two women and a baby, and additional people were punched and kicked — which has Quesada, 20, in jail on nine felony charges…
The Arizona Cardinals completely, totally, and definitely suck.After losing eight games in a row, the Cardinals just keep getting worse. The team lost by 58 points — 58 to nothing — to the Seattle Seahawks at CenturyLink Field in Seattle yesterday.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Stink Like Old Socks, Lose to Mark…
In the coming days, Arizona Lottery will be releasing the name of the Fountain Hills dude who won half of the $587.5 million Powerball jackpot.Lottery officials already gave some details on the guy, except his name, which the man wanted withheld. However, he doesn’t get to stay anonymous forever.See also:-Arizona’s…
Arizona Lottery officials held a press conference this afternoon to announce details about the Fountain Hills dude who won half of the $587.5 million Powerball jackpot, except the guy’s name.Based on the description given by lottery officials, they definitely made it sound like this guy was rich before he won…
Four people are accused of violating federal law when they took to a Forest Service office in Coconino County in September to protest the use of reclaimed water to create snow at Arizona Snowbowl.Perhaps there’s some irony involved here, but one of the protesters’ concerns is that the reclaimed water…
Our comrades in the Bay Area, S.F. Weekly, found Sheriff Joe Arpaio at a restaurant in San Francisco’s Union Square last night, (unintentionally) having dinner with folks who call themselves an “order of queer nuns.”See also:-Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Crash Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Dinner in Union Square…
Republican Congressman Paul Gosar wants Homeland Security officials to explain to him why Abdullatif Aldosary — the Coolidge resident accused of detonating an “explosive device” outside the Social Security Administration building in Casa Grande last week — has been allowed to stay in the United States.”It appears to the Congressman…
