from www.CafePress.com Can someone cue Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,” please? The John McCain ass-kissing began in earnest shortly after the polls closed Tuesday, with even the Repugnant’s saintly Dan Nowicki joining in on the pucker-fest by offering multiple posts on how the Manchurian Candidate will be the salvation of the Republicans…
As DJ Squalor would say, “Don’t not be there…” I’ve never made a secret of my slavish admiration for the crew that produces the insane industrial-noise soiree known as Sadisco. I assure you, my devotion is much deserved. For three years pervy pied pipers Toby Heidebrink and Donnie Burbank have…
Richard III, the vile monarch… The real deal, though I prefer McKellen’s fascistic version… Received a delightful snot-gram today, which always warms the nest of snakes in my heart. It’s from this guy who calls himself Emil Pulsifer. I have many such missives stowed away to read when I require…
What the AZPunk chicks wished they looked like… Who said women stick together? If you wanna see females of the species go after each other along the lines of a prison riot on HBO’s Oz, just point out that one is better looking than the others, and watch out for…
Above the Crowd: Can you feel the excitement? As the vote count in the CD5 race between Harry “Milquetoast” Mitchell and Congressman J.D. “Why Do You Hate Me?” Hayworth drags on, it seems increasingly unlikely that J.D.’s gonna pull it out of his Foghorn Leghorn ass. I hope I’m wrong,…
image courtesy of USDA (no, really) Who knew you needed a degree for this? Couldn’t help myself with this one. Did you know they need “lactation consultants” in Sun City? One would’ve thought the wrinkled dugs up there would be as dry as a parson. And who knew there was…
Janet Napolitano, Arizona’s Greatest Governor. Hmmm. Feels a bit presumptuous, like renaming Squaw Peak after a soldier who died just weeks earlier in a car accident. But that’s what a few historians and politicos are already suggesting — depending on what happens in the next four years. Janet Napolitano. Saver…
This brazen buzzard can hardly believe its feathered earflaps! With the ink barely dry on “Goldwater Uncut” (Stephen Lemons, October 19), New Times’ cover story on the real Arizona icon, Barry Goldwater’s brood stormed the Arizona Historical Foundation, repository of the late U.S. senator’s personal and political papers, demanding its…
Published online November 14, 2006, 3:30 p.m. MST COPYRIGHT 2006, Phoenix New Times Two years ago, Governor Janet Napolitano gave sole rights to tens of millions of dollars in bond business to a group of politically connected retired firefighters with zero experience in the field, New Times has learned. And…
Not long ago, I attended a Los Tigres del Norte concert at a small hall with no dance floor. The people attending were supposed to sit down and enjoy the music. Five minutes into the music, these jumping beans started dancing in the aisle. Within minutes, half of the attendees…
The “L” Word Hypocritical mass: Finally, somebody said it! Of course Janet Napolitano’s a lesbian, and a hypocrite for opposing gay marriage (“Reality Check,” The Bird, Stephen Lemons, November 2). Even if she’s not, how could she think people don’t think she is? Everybody thinks that who’s got the nerve…
Published online November 14, 2006, 8:45 p.m. MST COPYRIGHT 2006, Phoenix New Times At an Arizona Racing Commission meeting Wednesday, November 15, the state Racing Department plans to introduce a report questioning the friendship between Commission Chairman Burton Kruglick and embattled Turf Paradise owner Jeremy Simms. The report also recommends…
When Scottsdale officials were picking an ambulance company to handle 911 calls last year, they didn’t look at the factors you might assume would be at issue. Not price. The state sets the rate for ambulance trips, no matter who is the provider. Not speed. Promising a faster “response time”…
C.C. and Barry, Jr., dragging the Senator down to their level. The Bird takes flight this week and drops a colossal load on the Goldwater family for censoring the Goldwater papers at the Arizona Historical Foundation. Less than a week after my cover story “Goldwater Uncut,” C.C., Barry, Jr. and…
The Triumph of Mediocrity: “Femmebot” Manet. Has she finally gotten a man-date? I took in the election returns last night with my fellow imbibers at Nixon’s at The Esplanade, specifically with the charming Stephanie Carrico & JRC, owners of the Trunk Space gallery on Grand Avenue. Guinness and good company…
Over and out for now: CCC Owners Andres and Mony Yuhnke… Sad word today that the 24-7 java joint CounterCulture Cafe at 24th Street and McDowell Road is closing its doors after their asshole landlords gave owners Andres (Dre) Yuhnke and wife Mony literally one day to amscray. Seems there…
KR, livin’ the life… Like you need more proof that the ‘tards at AZPunk.com are, for the most part, complete fucking, no-talent losers, obsessed with dragging down anyone who rises above their incestuous little pool of wannabes, but today there are EIGHT TEN ELEVEN TWELVE PAGES AND COUNTING of spleen…
Don’t listen to the haters, Katie… Why do the dillweeds on AZ Punk.com so despise startender, party-person & all-around hot babe Katie Rose? Is it ’cause she’s attained a level of fame that they, sitting in grubby T-shirts and eating Cheetos before ‘puter screens in their ‘rents’ basements, will never…
Manet, doing what she does best: Cutting fucking ribbons. Len “Premarital” Munsil may be headed for certain defeat (picture a surfer heading into a tsunami), but the fella made an excellent point in a November 3 post to his blog about the Guv’s lack of vision and her last-minute, half-assed…
A photo of the Bobster, from a 1977 New West article… Expect the usual, tired civic-booster blowjob-ism from most other local media on the news of Barry’s bro Bob Goldwater heading for that big pro-am golf tourney in the sky. Bob Goldwater, 96, was Sen. Barry Goldwater’s little brother, as…
You’re nobody till somebody loves you… OK, so after Tuesday, all of those bloody political signs will be headed for the closest landfill, so let’s have fun with them while there’s still time! I’m hereby announcing my 2006 awards for PHX Political Signs, so let’s go: 1) Worst Attempt at…
Not Doug MacEachern, or so he says… Dan Nowicki at the Repug’s Plugged In blog mentioned my post about his paper’s fetish for reporter mug shots in a humorous retort on Thursday, and Doug MacEachern wrote a funny post to my blog item, even after I called the guy a…
