Katt Sandwich: from left, the booful Lena Smith, Katt “Money Mike” Williams, and the stunning Vivian Ware of UrbanAz.com. So Luenell, how is Borat in the sack? The Black Sinatra: Wanna hear a few bars of “Sweet Child O’ Mine”? If Jesse Jackson had been on hand for Katt Williams’…
Polyg Pope Warren Jeffs, Prez of the FLDS Jane Doe is big news today. She’s the gal, now 20, who’s pointing the finger in what’s sure to be the most significant polygamist prosecution case in a generation. Prosecutors in Washington County, Utah allege that polyg pope Warren Jeffs, head of…
It’s been two years since the city of Phoenix’s chief financial officer jumped to his death from atop his moving Mercedes on East Camelback Road. To this day, mention of 55-year-old Kevin Keogh’s highly publicized leap on the afternoon of December 8, 2004, raises the question, “What could that poor…
Some time ago, New Times got a letter from an inmate in Florence named James Stites, who is serving a six-year prison sentence for attempting to molest a child. Stites was writing about his cellmate at the time, the infamous diddling doctor Brian Finkel, who was sentenced in January 2004…
The number of Arizona children who died last year in unexpected and tragic ways rose sharply, according to a new report from the state department of health. Many significant areas, from suicide to drowning, also showed troubling increases. The report, compiled annually by a team of volunteer doctors, psychologists and…
It seems that whenever Chicano professors want to show off their mexicanidad, they wear a guayabera. In fact, I saw a picture of you in the Los Angeles Times donning the shirt, along with Dickies pants and Converse All Stars. How trite and bourgeois! You go to a cafe or…
Death and the Maidens Give ’em Hellen: While I do not harbor full confidence that, with their current musical output, the Sisters Duponte are peddling “the future of Phoenix death metal,” kudos to the two young ladies for creating heavy music in a male-dominated genre, especially at such a young…
Has it occurred to anyone besides this tweeter that Phoenix may now be better known for serial killers than saguaros? Leaping lapwings, last week P-town news was all about alleged multiple murderers, whether it was serial shooter suspect Dale Hausner tryin’ to OD on antihistamines and other over-the-counter meds, or…
Thanks, KKKramer! Nothing like a lil’ racism to boost sales. See what race-baiting does? You get caught on a cell-phone camera yelling the N-word at audience members, and suddenly your DVD sales are up 75%. That’s the deal with season seven of Seinfeld post Kramer freak-out, and it’s one reason…
www.fermier.com Christopher Gross: What’s in a name? Check out what Maricopa County’s Environmental Services had to say about much-ballyhooed Frenchified grub-shack Christopher’s Fermier Brasserie last month on November 21: “Sufficient water supply not available”; and, “Sewage present in establishment.” No wonder the inspector immediately suspended Christopher’s license to operate, shutting…
www.tempe12.com This Tempe 12 squalie earns an A+, though not all do. OK, so this is basically a made-up controversy that would hardly be worth blogging about if it were not for all the hot chicks involved. Seems the owners of Tempe 12, a business that produces calendars of college…
www.onewordlong.com Ryan Avery: Man-Child in the Promised Land… Nothing steamrolls over one’s enemies like success. And as sure as the moon is pockmarked like Artie Lange’s buttcheeks, I can promise you that pudgy performance-artist/rocker Ryan Avery will one day be trading quips with Conan O’Brien while the limp-dicks at AZPunk.com…
The little boy was perched atop a plastic mountain, the highest point at the Princess Playground, the name my girls and I have for the indoor play area at Scottsdale Fashion Square. The small space was crowded that afternoon, but you couldn’t miss the boy. Even though my daughters Annabelle…
Ever since drug-testing colossus Covance announced its Chandler invasion, this selfish sandpiper’s generally sided with the biotech behemoth, which does federal-mandated animal testing of drug compounds headed to market. Sure, this feathered fiend cares for the animal kingdom’s other species. But if it comes down to a choice between a…
I was flipping through my television when I noticed the Spanish-language channel showed a man in a red suit with yellow pants, antennae on his head, and a heart with the letters “CH” on his chest. It appeared to be a sitcom, and all the characters related to the insect…
Core Values The “lack of vision” thing: Megan Irwin and Robrt L. Pela wrote very insightful articles (“Wrecking Phoenix,” November 23). It is a great relief to hear independent voices that question our current “path of progress.” The sensation of being surrounded by bobbleheads that can only nod as ridiculous…
“Dark, but happy, little sprites dance around the forest under the trees,” I tell my daughter. The story goes on, and I try to keep the tale steps ahead of my inquisitive daughter. My five-year-old chimes in, adding her visions to my story, attempting to redirect my tale back to…
William “Fucking” Reed: His middle name ain’t “Fucking” for nothin’. We at the New Times, being the bad boys (and girls) of journalism, want to reward those at Get Out attempting to breathe some life into that moribund institution. Why? Well, because we know G.O.’s editors are generally a buncha…
www.eastvalleytribune.com The Trib’s not-so-edgy Get Out, pulled for “fucking.” Quiz time, ladies and germs: What old Anglo-Saxon word just cost the East Valley Tribune (owned by Freedom Communications, Inc.) $12,000? Here’s a clue: it rhymes with schmuck, and only a schmuck would pay $12K for it. I’m talking about the…
www.venganza.org Blessed be his holy name… News Flash, Friends and Fiends of the Feathered Bastard: Though I’ve heretofore self-pigeonholed myself as an agnostic with pro-atheist leanings, I’ve recently received a vision, and am now declaring myself a holy Imam in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Henceforth, before I…
Keep your effin’ religion to yourself, no matter what it is… Ever since US Airways kicked six Muslim religious leaders off a flight bound for Phoenix, I’ve had a lot of fun watching various wing-nuts chastise the imams for praying a little too loudly and obviously to Allah. Rib-ticklin’ stuff,…
from CNA’s web site, Sandy Summers, eat your heart out… Of this week’s Bird items, the one closest to my evil lil’ cardiac muscle is the victory over the forces of political correctness by “Dr. Jon” Basso owner of Tempe’s Heart Attack Grill, where artery clogging ground round is served…
