This pigskin-lovin’ pelican knows it’s all about winnin’ on the gridiron. But even this point-spread-obsessed avian draws the line at — gulp — murder. Not so Arizona State University Athletic Director Lisa Love, who finally handed ASU head coach Dirk Koetter his trotting papers. This after the Sun Devils’ 28-14…
Dear Readers: Many kind, drunken words from ustedes regarding my November 16 column proclaiming Mexicans and Irish “brothers in depravity.” Let’s start with a wab: Man, did you make me laugh with “leprecanos.” I never had more fun on Cinco de Mayo than I did in 1974 in a Cambridge,…
Stinks on ICE Frankenstein’s agency: Thank you for your very accurate article regarding the disaster known as ICE (“Meltdown,” Ray Stern, November 16). I recently left ICE (I tell friends that I “abandoned a sinking ship”!) as a group supervisor to accept a position at another federal agency. I started…
If anyone should have an easy time opening a business in a cool old building downtown, it’s Matt Pool. After all, Pool got his start managing Bar Bianco for his sister, Susan, and her partner, Chris Bianco, in an old house (the neoclassical Thomas House, built in 1909, to be…
In a city like Phoenix, it’s almost too easy to be cynical about the future. If you listen to the talk out there, downtown Phoenix is on the verge of a comeback — though really, it’s never been anything great. So maybe the message is more that Phoenix is on…
Photograph from Pink Box (Abrams Books). � Joan Sinclair Another satisfied customer… This past Sunday afternoon prior to climbing in the car for the six hour trek back to P-town, I enjoyed a satisfying nosh at Little Tokyo’s Curry House at Weller Court, then waddled over to the Kinokinuya Japanese…
Santa feels your pain… The problem with Xmas, as I see it, is that I’d rather just keep my money and buy myself whatever the fuck I want. But we’re not allowed to do that. Even if you’re born Jewish, Muslim, agnostic or atheist, your chances of escaping the clutches…
The cursed arm of Claude de Lorraine… All photos by Megumi Akiyama. Pickled punks: They go great with pastrami and a lil’ mustard. Embalmed clown Achile Chatouilleu, under glass, for your protection. The skull of the world’s smallest Freemason… Behold! The “Barnum of Burbank Boulevard.” The Nostradumbass of North Hollywood…
Can you tell me the meaning of the word “aguacate”? All I know about this delicious fruit is that it originated on this continent. Guacamole Man Dear Gabacho: “Aguacate” is the Spanish word for avocado, but its Nahuatl meaning is more rustic: balls. According to Ana María de Benítez’s 1974…
Display Cases Taste test: “Stunning”??? I’m sorry, did Wynter Holden really describe the effect of Jen Urso’s In Place installation at the show “Phoenix: Land of Somewhere” at Modified Arts as “stunning” (“Going Nowhere,” November 9)? Wynter, go with your first instinct. It looked like a Halloween decoration (and a…
Three years since Phoenix New Times ran our “Exploding Downtown” series, the wrecking ball is still taking aim all over downtown, threatening what little history the city has left to preserve. Will Phoenix wind up a cross between Disneyland and Mill Avenue? This week: Phoenix is too eager to scrape…
Three years since Phoenix New Times ran our “Exploding Downtown” series, the wrecking ball is still taking aim all over downtown, threatening what little history the city has left to preserve. Will Phoenix wind up a cross between Disneyland and Mill Avenue? This week: The latest great hope for downtown…
Not Kathy Shayna Shocket… Did Kathy Shayna Shocket survive the Repugnant’s editorial bloodbath? That’s what I wondered after I read her 11/20 society column. Sources high up on the Republic food chain had informed me that Shocket was part of last week’s Gannett layoff-fest, where 31 employees were let go,…
Altman, on the set of The Gingerbread Man. I feel a little odd mourning the loss of director Robert Altman. I mean, the guy lived eight decades and a year, and was incredibly prolific during his life, churning out film after film — many actual celluloid masterpieces (MASH, McCabe and…
In the middle (presumably) the MILFy-hot Lisa Allen MacPherson… All pics by Lilia Menconi AG Terry Goddard entering as I’m being escorted out by Chagolla. Right this way, ladies undergarments, fifth floor… Who’d expect Joe Arpaio, supposedly the “toughest sheriff in the nation,” to turn all yella-belly when the New…
Catherine King channelling Cousin Itt… Ya think Jerome Du Bois’ mom was named Blanche? The PHX art-fart gadfly’s capacity for self-delusion is equal to that of Tennessee Williams’ most famous character, and like Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire, Jerome’s creeping up there in mileage. For a while now, the…
The wild and crazy Rachel Bess… The Bird knows all, sees all. The minions of The Bird are perched everywhere, scribbling notes, observing all social interactions in the PHX as potential fodder for the next column. Of course, it all flows through my massive bird-brain, and no boob is left…
Banned by the CNA! Not really. There’s a ton more like this on the CNA website… Below is another e-mail from Harry Summers of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, and my response to him. Harry’s married to Sandy Summers, the executive director of the Maryland-based, self-appointed watchdog org. When he’s…
The Great Camille Paglia: Feminazi slayer, diva and intellectual nonpareil. Below find some recent correspondence between myself and the Maryland-based Center for Nursing Advocacy’s Senior SOLE Advisor Harry Jacobs Summers, hubby of Executive Director Sandy Summers. For all intents and purposes, it looks like the Summers ARE the CNA. The…
The GrossCost of livin’: $150 mil. As far as I’m concerned, former House Speaker Jeff Groscost, whom the Bird disses in death this week, deserved to be wearing stripes, eating green baloney and wondering if he was gonna have to take it up the poot pipe from his cell-mate Randy…
Published online November 14, 2006, 8:45 p.m. MST COPYRIGHT 2006, Phoenix New Times At an Arizona Racing Commission meeting Wednesday, November 15, the state Racing Department plans to introduce a report questioning the friendship between Commission Chairman Burton Kruglick and embattled Turf Paradise owner Jeremy Simms. The report also recommends…
The lowest point in the relationship between federal immigration agents and Arizona state troopers was the changing of locks and the can of tuna fish. The incident began last year after Dan Kelly, a civilian investigator for the Arizona Department of Public Safety, learned that Phoenix resident Carmen Tolle had…
