Pretty much everyone has an ugly sweater, even you. Fact. Don't bother denying it, because we know it's hidden away somewhere dark and deep in your closet along with whatever skeletons that have been accumulating over the years. Chances are likely that you either got it from a snarky or clueless relative or at a local thrift store on a lark.
However it happened into your possession, that knitted atrocity typically gets stuffed away into your personal Phantom Zone for 360-odd days of banishment until the Christmastime season rolls around and it suddenly becomes useful again, especially at any of the ugly sweater parties that are popular during the holidays.
When this artsy retail and gallery space in Central Phoenix hosted its Ugly Sweater Christmas Party last year, it certainly lived up to its name, and then some. We witnessed some of the more ostentatious sweaters around, including some wrapped in tinsel and other tree trimmings that were a sight to behold. This year's version of the affair, which takes place from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Friday, December 5, should be equally as festive, and will include music, holiday libations, the chance to get photos wearing your favorite sweater, and the chance to win a $50 gift card if you've got the ugliest threads. The event is free.
The DJ duo of Roya and Funkfinger of Tongue Tied are eager to see what kind of horrible holiday attire you have banished to your closet. In fact, if your pullover, sweatshirt, or knitted atrocity is truly revolting and repugnant, you have a good chance of scoring $200 worth of booze at their Fugly Sweater Dance Party on Saturday, December 6, at Apollo's. Plus, you could possibly be the star of the ugly sweater fashion show that will take place at the event. In addition to showing off gaudy holiday threads, the party will feature indie, dance, and retro tracks spun by the pair, an awkward family photo contest for a $50 Apollo's gift card, and other antics. The fugly festivities starts at 9 p.m. Admission is free until 9:30 p.m. and $5 thereafter.
If your holiday sweater happens be so unsightly that your eyes water, skin burns, and mind dizzies, you should probably consult a medical practitioner. Then, head for this rustic and rowdy Mill Avenue drinkery on Wednesday, December 10, where your monstrosity will help you win one of the two $50 Visa shopping cards that will be awarded to the patron with the ugliest sweater. The party begins at 8 p.m. Admission is free.
KNIX radio personalities Ben and Matt will host the country music station's Ugly Holiday Sweater Party on Thursday, December 11, at the Toby Keith's in Peoria. The event will benefit Operation Santa Claus and feature performances by Love and Theft, Joel Crouse, and DJ DU. The music begins at 8 p.m. and tickets are $10 in advance, $15 on the day of the show.
The folks out in Apache Junction will also be getting into the spirit of the season at the Rodeo Lounge's Ugly Sweater Party on Friday, December 12. The celebration commences at 8 p.m. and includes food and drink specials, DJ Wayne in the mix, dancing, and prizes for the winner of the ugliest sweater contest. Admission is free.
The stylishness of this upscale entertainment attraction in North Scottsdale will be juxtaposed by gaudy garishness at its Ugly Sweater Party on Saturday, December 13. TopGolf's upscale bar will host the event, which starts at 9 p.m. and will feature drink specials, a DJ, and more. Attendees who are judged to have the "all around ugliest" and "most festive" attire will each win $100 in TopGolf game play, as will the pair with the "best duo" costume. Admission is free.
Pop quiz, hot shot: What has a bunch of arms, tons of wheels, and wrapped in ugly? The Ugly Christmas Sweater Bike Pub Crawl, that what. The annual event, which is now in its fourth year, will involve cyclists cruising through North Scottsdale while wearing their most heinous sweaters and getting a drink on at multiple bars and eateries. The crawl starts at 11 a.m. on Saturday, December 13, with a few rounds of mimosas, bloody beers, and other concoctions at Tilted Kilt before hitting the road for Buffalo Wild Wings at the Scottsdale Promenade, followed by a trip to Sol Cochina, and winding up at RA Sushi Bar at Kierland Commons. Riders are encouraged to bring an unwrapped plaything to donate to Toys for Tots. Participation is free.
Mesa Amphitheatre Given that newly launched alternative radio station ALT AZ 93.3's first-ever concert on Monday, December 15, is being held at an outdoor venue at night, it makes perfect sense that's its also been dubbed an Ugly Sweater Holiday Party. Temperatures should be in the 60s once the event is in full swing and bands like Cage the Elephant, Young the Giant, Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness are performing, which means whatever hideous-looking pullover or sweater you happen to be wearing will keep you nice and warm. Gates open at 4:30 p.m. and the concert starts at 5:30 p.m. Tickets are $30-$35 in advance, $40 day of show.
Just like the well-worn digs at this Mesa dive, we're willing to bet that the fashions that will be worn at its second annual Ugly Sweater Party on Saturday, December 13, will be just as shabby and quaint. It will also offer "cheap drinks and lots of fun" and plenty of hot cocoa, as well as Pub 'n' Grub's usual dive bar thrills. The event runs from 9 p.m. until 2 a.m. and there's no cover.
A parade of day drinkers will be traipsing through downtown Scottsdale during while wearing their ugliest sweaters during the afternoon-long Holiday BODI Bar Crawl on Saturday, December 13, as well as adult onesies, snuggies, slankets, and Christmas pajamas. The procession starts out at Boondocks at noon and then makes tracks from one end of downtown Scottsdale to the other, stopping off at Wasted Grain, Dos Gringos, and the Coach House before ending at The King. Its a free event, but you'll have to pay for your own drinks, bub.
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