4
| Lists |

Krampus Rocks: Six Metal Songs for Christmas

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

In America, the naughty list folks have it pretty easy. Our parents warned us about coal in our stockings (though recent memes suggest something even worse), but our Christmas threats were mostly harmless, and never, regardless of awful behavior, seemed to materialize.

Then there's Krampus, a long tongued, cloven-hooved, furry demon, popular throughout Europe, pal of Santa Clause, armed with birch branches to spank kids, and a sack on his back to drag them off to hell. Did I mention this guy is Santa's friend? Makes you want to think twice about allowing the jolly old fat guy to squeeze down your chimney, no?

Krampus represents the dark side of Christmas, a pre-Christian pagan symbol that got enlisted in the fight against bad kids long ago. But there's no getting around it: With his horns, devilish looks, and chains and bells, Krampus is pretty metal. Here are six Christmas tunes that Krampus might have on his iPod.

Krampus, "Tears of Stone"

Italian folk-metal band Krampus shares a name with our favorite Christmas bad guy, and has a sound that could equally appeal to Ren Faire dorks and metal malcontents. Huzzah!

King Diamond, "No Presents For Christmas"

Proof that metal doesn't always take itself too serious. Just look at that record sleeve.

Tourniquet, "Perfect Night For A Hanging" set to A Charlie Brown Christmas

Everyone knows that A Charlie Brown Christmas is the best Christmas special out there, but it was pretty lacking in the metal department. Thanks to YouTube, this oversight can finally be corrected.

Erlosun, "12 Days of Christmas"

Can someone still be scary and metal when singing about partridges in pear trees? No. Actually they can't.

Paul Di'Anno, "Another Rock and Roll Christmas"

Wait -- was that line "presents hanging from the tree?" Who does that?

Slayer Christmas Lights Display

What are the holidays for other than spending way too much time doing things like this so 2,253,939 people can watch on YouTube?

Follow us on Twitter and friend us on Facebook

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.