Getting started with anything can be a challenge. Tools of mental health and therapy have been villainized for centuries by certain people.
That creates pressure, and pressure has no place in a therapeutic environment. As we get started today, leave those pressures outside. In the garbage. Preferably on fire.
Therapy is many things all at once, and one of those essences is creativity. Much like the music in which we find solace, motivation and belonging.
You are creating change: A next you, a new you, a wholly unique and cultivated timeline that branches away from habitual, maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. A new you that gradually transcends to the most purposeful, effective you that you’ve been wanting to achieve.
We’re talking about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, commonly called CBT, specifically as a macro-system and a few micro-skills.
Why? So you can start your own change at a baseline with knowledge of two things:
1. The world’s most evidence-based, well-researched mental health therapy.
2. Be able to then learn more of the specific skills of CBT that we’ll be sharing in this column in the future (also with more frequency at the Instagram feed.
CBT is the macro-system of specific tools that has been the bedrock of most evidence-based therapy protocols for decades. Aaron Beck is credited with the invention of CBT, rightfully so, and he stood on the shoulders of the giants that came before him. What he did was to take the theories/ideas/concepts of those giants (just to name a few — Jung, Piaget, Rogers, Adler, Kelly, Bartlett) and provide a more rigorous, principled methodology which provides evidence based tools that, when used in a disciplined, motivated manner, work effectively to reduce anxiety, depression, anger, grief and much more.
The Reader’s Digest version of CBT is: The way we think can trigger the way we feel. That’s critical to acknowledge and accept. The world around us is never going to stop challenging us in ways we didn’t ask for or expect. But if we are in our own minds creating havoc — that’s something we can change, control and turn to our advantage for purpose, happiness and success.
Next, those shitty feelings that we created with our thoughts lead to behaviors. Then, those behaviors lead to our outcomes. So, if we change the way we think, then we can change our outcomes. CBT is an evolution of the ancient practices of 'manifestation.'
Last time we covered mono-tasking, so get ready to use that new muscle you’ve been warming up the past few weeks. Put away distractions, structure some solitude time, and reflect on this: meta-cognition. Which means ‘thinking about the way you think.’
Here’s some structure and music to guide you as you begin:
1. Intentional: Remind yourself that you are doing this with purpose. Write it down if that helps, and keep it in front of you – this is why Reflection Journals are so damn effective. This process will likely come with some ‘feels’, Jefe, so stay grounded and take breaks – there’s no need to get overwhelmed. Use your SMART goals from the previous column to remind you of your purpose and intent.
2. Nonjudgmental: Do not judge yourself or others and events that will likely pass through your thoughts. You just want to release yourself from the weight of making decisions. Those will come later. Right now, as you practice being intentional and nonjudgmental, and the outcome you want to begin experiencing more and more is emotional regulation. Relief fuels balance. You are allowed to feel calm.
3. Self-awareness: After you have been intentional and nonjudgmental, you can draw attention to how your thoughts generate many of (but not all) your feelings and behaviors, much of which accumulates into your outcomes.
Those three steps are about internal attentiveness and adjustment. After you have practiced this sequence and turned it into a progressive, positive feedback loop, you will have the focus and calm required to behave (the 'b' in CBT) in ways that will change your external life. CBT works. You must work it, though. Now get busy.
Here are some tunes to complement the journey of intentional, nonjudgmental self-awareness:
'I Don't Mind' by Beastie Boys
“I have lost my mind” has never been so exquisitely, intentionally leveraged for a cathartic perspective on releasing yourself from unhelpful thoughts. The relief you will experience as your thoughts change is baked into the peaceful pace and timbre of the song itself.'Walking Backwards' by Clutchy Hopkins
I have to thank my friend Damon for this song. Sometimes words obscure things. Let Clutchy Hopkins’ trance-y, world-music, hip-hop-inflected syncopations soothe your emotions as you activate your meta-cognition.'Red Horse Rainbow' by Clutch
Like putting Bootsy Collins, a D&D 60-sided die, Strawberry Banana Cheese buds and an Orange amp with the gain maxed, all into the Hadron Super Collider. Sometimes you need to outsource your badassery to experts, and then channel the energy to go forth and conquer, as the song says, “Flaming arrows by hundreds.”'Underground' by Thelonious Monk
Butter. Pure, churn-style butter.Next time, we’ll keep building up these skills and cultivating automatic, helpful thought patterns. Wild, right? Not just spiraling into problems and misery, but solving problems? Who the hell do we think we are?! See what we did there?
