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Six Reasons Fox's Glee Is Infuriating

The recent news that Fox's hit high school music-drama Glee will use some of Coldplay's music for future episodes made me honestly wonder what planet the show's producers live on.

Now, I am not just some curmudgeonly young man who has never watched the show and who hates musicals and other productions of their ilk. I watched the show's first season until I simply couldn't stand it anymore -- and this is coming from someone who religiously watches So You Think You Can Dance (everyone can stop trying, Alex Wong is going to win) and has seen all three High School Musicals multiple times.

Glee started as a unique, fresh idea to me -- yet it soon turned into a stale, absent-minded farce of a television show, thanks in large part to these six reasons.

6. The Music Selection

Sure, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" is a fun little song. Everyone seems to enjoy it, including my 55 year-old aunt. The song has become this force amongst today's youth, as well, just see for yourself once someone chooses the song at karaoke on a Saturday night. I understand that Glee has to appeal to a wide audience, including the key 18-34 demographic, and this apparently means whoring your music selection out to appease even the most uneducated viewer. No one ever complained that Glee was a bit dense and rather labyrinthian in its story structure. On top of all this, they are going to start using Coldplay music. Fantastic.

5. Boring, Sluggish Story Lines

The songs on Glee are the heart of the show, even if the music is not itself originally written for the show. They are what appeals to the show's audience and what keeps the show on the air. They are all anyone ever talks about the next day at the water cooler. That is how it should be. However, these songs take all the clout out of the show, leaving the show's story lines and other character driven aspects to become monotonous and painfully boring. This is why I stopped watching the show in the first place -- the in-between parts, if you will, became tedious and unappealing. Glee creators Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan can create some visually intriguing musical/dance numbers -- not necessarily any interesting or appealing plot lines. You better have some amazing musical numbers ready if you're going to skimp so heavily on character development and actual dialogue. Unfortunately for Murphy, Falchuk and Brennan, this is simply not the case. See any secondary character who doesn't have any real role or storyline in the show to understand what I am talking about.

4. Sue Sylvester as Madonna

This whole damn Madonna episode of Glee was hyped up to an excessive amount, and rightfully so. But having Jane Lynch's fantastic Sue Sylvester recreate Madonna's Vogue video was just completely awful and rather wrong. Sue Sylvester is the best character on the show -- someone who is strong enough as the coach of the Cheerios to exist solely as such. She doesn't need to be dragged down into some awful recreation/parody of a kitschy Madonna video from 1990. Keep the strong characters separate from the weak ones who have to be included in the musical numbers to actually be present in the show. Don't dumb down the genius, witty character in Sue Sylvester like that.

3. The Unrealistic Relationship Between Sports and Performing Arts

I played football and baseball in high school -- hell, I was even one of the captains of the football team. I always had a great respect for my friends who were into drama and were in all of our school's productions for the year. I never made fun of them or gave them shit based on what their passion was. Sure, other, different high schools probably existed on an entirely different level where all the jocks gave all the drama people a hard time. However, it's 2010, not 1974 -- times have changed, considerably. While the episode of Glee where Kurt becomes the kicker for the football team was charming and had great insight into a rather unique father/son relationship, don't throw choreographed dance in the middle of a football game. That angered me both as a former football player AND as a fan of choreographed musical numbers. I know Glee exists as make-believe and is a goddamn television show, but if I wanted to watch something completely head-scratchingly weird and out-of-bounds, I would put on my Twin Peaks DVDs.

2. Autotune

There is absolutely no place for autotune in a show about a high school's glee club, but Ryan Murphy just had to go there. The actors can all sing pretty well, so why would the show's creators go and have to bastardize their talent by using autotune? Why not? They don't seem concerned at all about saving even the slightest bit of artistic integrity. Autotune? Why stop there? Why not just invite Ted McGinley as some random, worthless character? Might as well cover your bases and piss everybody off.

1. Will Schuester Rapping

This is, above and beyond, the worst thing Glee has ever done. Matthew Morrison does a fine job portraying the embattled Will Schuester, but the episode where he sings Kanye West's "Gold Digger" was beyond infuriating (Also, Kanye West is an ass, but we need not go there). Never has network television proved it can be so out of touch as when "Schue" starts rapping that awful, awful song. He looks so smarmy and so self-righteous while doing it, too. Ugh. There is even a petition begging Ryan Murphy to stop it with the rapping nonsense, but he, of course, didn't listen. That leads me to believe this show will never change its ways, which is fine by me. I started out as a very enthusiastic fan but I have now completely given up on the show. I watch a lot of television, and sometimes when there isn't appealing to watch on a Wednesday night I look at the channel guide and see that Glee is on. Then I remember "Gold Digger" and completely nix any thought of tuning in to Fox.

What started as a show so promising for someone like me who enjoys musical numbers and such, Glee has become quite a letdown. I will say that I am very choosy and rather cynical about my television, but for christ's sake, I openly choose to watch So You Think You Can Dance. I don't have some ridiculously high standards when it comes to television that Glee doesn't match -- it's just a trite, smarmy and out-of-touch show. Go ahead, Ryan Murphy, and feature Coldplay's music in your upcoming episodes. You've burned all your bridges with any original fans who have grown weary of your bullshit -- you might as well infuriate them more. 

Perhaps my tastes have changed and Glee just isn't something that appeals to me. It's hard to think that I would fall out of love with something like Glee, but the lack of charm and the unseemly "go fuck yourself, I'm Ryan Fucking Murphy -- I created Glee" attitude of the show's head honcho is very, very off-putting. Also off-putting? The fact that the show lacks any real artistic backbone. 

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