The 12 TikTok songs that could've been viral sensations

In an unprecedented move that’s becoming increasingly “precedented” in our modern political climate, the U.S. government has banned TikTok. There was some backstage politicking and talk of last-minute saving graces, but the Chinese-owned dancing/lip-synching app is effectively done. There’s lots to say about TikTok, and while it was wholly imperfect, it clearly had its benefits. Like how it was a tool for young people to address crimes of a sexual nature. It even brought people together around self-care.

We’ll focus instead on the cultural power of the platform, and how music became this tool for exploring artistic movements, contextualizing our obsession with nostalgia and forging communities around bands both new and old. In that spirit, we’ve assembled 12 songs that absolutely should have been hits, and that should have also added to the surprisingly great art that made TikTok so vital (or at least less repulsive in some regards).

Bon voyage, TikTok: you were dumb and weird in some pretty important ways, but the world was slightly better for the tunes you unintendedly shared with millions.

Kenny Loggins, "Footloose"

No one song speaks to the heart of TikTok more effectively than this 1984 smash hit. It’s spawned a million awkward dance moves from folks with zero business cutting a rug, and yet you can’t help but add your own entry to the “crimes against rhythm.” TikTok and this song both taught us the magic of embracing the moment and letting it all out via the Running Man or a sturdy Cabbage patch, and “Footloose” not blowing up on the platform is a tragedy of the highest caliber. The world deserved “Footloose Fever” part two, and we’ll never truly be the same as a species.

Deee-Lite, "Groove is in the Heart"

Say what you will about the ‘90s (too much flannel, not enough themed Pepsi releases), but it spawned this absolute anthem. Lots of songs tried to bridge the gap between dance, mainstream pop and even jazz and hip-hop, but “Groove” did with a joy and irreverence that felt lacking in the decade. It was a song for being dumb and dancing with your friends, and that’s the entirety of TikTok’s business model (aside from stealing our data, right?) The song’s virality on the platform could’ve truly closed the divide between young and old, and showed us that the only love you need is for the groove.

Allan Sherman, "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!"

Admittedly, this 1963 novelty song isn’t exactly a classic. (Even if it is part of the single best gag on “The Simpsons” in the show’s history.) But TikTok was just as much about weird sounds having their moment as it was about awkward lip-synching and complicated, hand-forward choreography by teens/tweens. Had “Hello” had a chance to shine, it could’ve easily been this weird blast from an under-visited past, and an instance where this little app could’ve been the global town square of the internet’s wildest dreams. If nothing else, imagine all the videos of kids channeling Sherman as a true pioneer of weirdo comedy.

Pavement, "Cut Your Hair"

Emo certainly had its enthusiastic surge across TikTok in recent months (in a move that demonstrates that time is clearly a flat circle for musical trends). But had some of these folks just peered back a little further down the rock ‘n’ roll timeline, they could’ve discovered Pavement. The alt-rock heroes’ undisputed “hit single,” “Cut Your Hair” is basically made for adding edge and quirkiness to videos showing off new haircuts or wacky hair demos. Does stuff like that cheapen great music? No, because as TikTok proved, all attention is good if it means some 13-year-old hears Pavement for the first time. That, and anything to stoke another Pavement reunion is a good thing.

Tone Loc, "Funky Cold Medina"

It’s been 37 years since Tone Loc dropped his single biggest jam. Sure, there’s been conjecture as to the exact composition of the titular tonic/medley, but knowing what that was is less important than the song's true nature: a gem of uber-gimmicky ‘90s rap. In fact, it’s the most abstract and compelling instance of this “era,” a song that smashes listeners in the face with kooky vibes and forces them to dance. It's a song, we’d add, that exemplifies that TikTok spirit of “shut up and have some fun” and also “repurpose stuff from your parents' record collection.” TikTok users, you missed out on pure rap magic, and you could’ve known a sonic oddball that’s never been matched.

Faith Hill, "This Kiss"

If public displays of romance/affection drive you nuts, then TikTok would’ve been a living hell. But Faith Hill’s signature song (that isn’t “Breathe," mind you) could’ve been a different beast for the app. It’s a cheesy song made for, say, new couple reveals, or asking out your prom date. But it’s also very much an affirmation of life, and how being stoked about a mere smooch makes you feel truly alive. In that way, the song could’ve brought the cheese and something deeper, and that is clearly another way that TikTok surprised people for its depth and utility (in some but not all ways). Plus, we need a world where Faith Hill gets another round in the ol' spotlight.

Metallica, "Enter Sandman"

Not all trends on TikTok proved to be cool or even wonderfully cheesy and asinine. Sometimes it was a case of “The Overly Complicated Song,” where a song with a 40-second intro trended just for people to lip-synch, like, three worlds. Admittedly that is a very dumb gimmick, but if the kids were going to do it with any song, “Enter Sandman” would have been a genuinely viral sensation. It’s roughly 72 seconds of crunchy rhythms and gnarly guitars before “Say your prayers,” and every bone in my body is saying that there was humorous gold to be mined. But, alas, “Enter Sandman” never got its moment in the sunshine, and the world was a less head-banging place for it.

They Might Be Giants, "Birdhouse In Your Soul"

If you’re a child of the ‘90s, you might recall They Might Be Giants having featured on “Tiny Toon Adventures” (both “Particle Man” for a boxing story and “Istanbul” for a wacky send-up of “The Maltese Falcon”). If only Gen Z got the same chance to revisit not only TMBG, but one of their actually endearing and catchy songs (that’s also quite weird still). Maybe there would have been a “Birdhouse Dance” a la frontman John Linnell's moves? Or even just the song set to montages of actual birds? TMBG is weirdo music with staying power, and more people ought to have grown up with their antics.

Nelly Furtado, "Maneater"

Spend enough time on TikTok, and you’ll notice that mainstream pop music is good but unremarkable far too often. But this isn’t some out-of-touch Boomer talking about Diana Ross or ELO songs; Nelly Furtado’s 2006 mega-banger is as far back as you need to go to uncover generally essential pop. A huge chunk of TikTok’s audience was just being born back then, but “Maneater” is one of those songs that cuts through social and generational divides. It's a true pop sensation that continues to feel fresh and inventive even as it’s endlessly nostalgic. In short, it's a song that shows that TikTok was capable of not just reviving old hits, but unearthing new context and understanding around these gems.

Bloodhound Gang, "Bad Touch"

Admittedly, as strong as this list is, some of these selections remain mostly conjecture. Like, would people truly care about TMBG? Hopefully, but who can say given the inherent fickiness of everything online. But “Bad Touch” would have been a full-on viral sensation. You’ve got this semi-tongue-in-cheek, mostly creepy song, a dumb-but-simple dance that everyone could’ve learned and the piece de resistance, corresponding monkey costumes. The fact that TikTok never truly discovered this means that algorithms aren't all-powerful, and people have to unearth things for them to shine. That, or not everything from the ‘90s needed a resurgence. Maybe it's both lessons, who knows?

Burial, "Fostercare"

In addition to “The Overly Complicated Song,” another understated TikTok trend was “Needlessly Creepy Videos.” Those clips made by either AI or goblins in a dungeon, where creepy music soundtracks clearly fake Wendigo clips or facts about serial killers. “Fostercare” is decidedly more soulful and poignant, but it too could’ve been the glitchy soundtrack to some bizarre effort to generate views by stoking abject terror or unease. It’s one of those songs that is just weird enough to demonstrate that, depending on your engagement with the tune, you can spin out all sorts of new takes or remixes. No one needs serial killer clips, but the world needed more of TikTok’s wonderful ability to reframe art and music.

Prince, "Batdance"

There was a time, on some corners of TikTok, where Pennywise took off. They’re not exactly an obscure band, but it’s amazing the kinds of acts that got a new chance to shine. All of that is to say that not only should Prince have been a new obsession for the TikTok crowd, but it would be great if it was for “Batdance.” You know, the lead track from that weird and unnecessarily rocking soundtrack the Purple One made for the weirdest Batman movie (and I’m counting that even with the penguin motif from "Batman Returns"). It's not even remotely Prince's best song, but it would've been fun to see more of that weirdness overflow unexpectedly. Plus, if you love dances and makeup, “Batdance” is your perpetual jam.