4
| Lists |

30 List Ideas That Somehow Didn't Make It Past Phoenix New Times Editors

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

It's probably safe to say that 2015 was the year of the listicle — for those not in the know, list + article = listicle.

From the top 10 times John McCain was mocked on late night TV to the 10 biggest revelations in Joe Arpaio's contempt trial, we've covered it all. 

Well, almost... 

Sadly, not all of our listicle suggestions were approved by New Times' editors.

Case in point, these 30 ideas:

1) Top 1,000 Places to Score a Gun in Phoenix, No Questions Asked

2) Top 10 All-Night Diners for After You're Bailed Out

3) Top 1 Bookstore in Phoenix

4) Top 300 Filibertos in the Valley

5) Top 50 Places to See Tweakers in Their Habitat

6) Top 10 Nightclubs for STDs in Scottsdale

7) Top 10 Arizona Restaurants for Your Post-Colonoscopy Meal

8) Top 20 Prosecutors Who Could've Nailed Joe Arpaio but Wussed Out

9)  Top 10 things Doug Ducey Probably Has Up His Ass 

10) Top 10 Hikes Most Likely to Include a Helicopter Ride.

11) Top 10 Explanations for the Mysterious Disappearance of the Hohokam (Number 1: "It's hot! Let's freakin' leave.")

12) Top 50 Places to Get Mauled by Pitbulls.

13) Top 1,000 Neighborhoods Where People Have No Clue Who Their Neighbors Are

14) Top 40,000 University of Phoenix Students Who Wonder, "What the Hell?!"

15) Top 200 Vacuous Kyrsten Sinema Do-Gooder Social Media Posts

16) Top 50 Corporate Welfare Recipients in Arizona

17) Top 10 Convenience Store Panhandler Gauntlets

18) Top 100 Real Estate Makeovers (Ex-Meth Lab Edition)

19) Top 50 Sexually Repressed Vigilantes 

20) Top 40 Pious Legislators Who've Never Read the Bible

21) Top 10 Radio Stations to Listen to When KJZZ Is Raising Funds 

22) Top 4 Jobs Arizona Corporation Commissioners Will Someday Get at APS

23) Top 1 Freeway Shooter 

24) Top 10 Ways Paul Babeu Mimics Joe Arpaio (Number 1: Wears pink underwear.)

25) Top 7 GOP Congressmen Who Laugh About the Tea Party in Private

26) Top 30 Places to Encounter Drunk Chicks Who Can't Walk in Heels

27) Top Mega-Churches That Would Immediately Reject Jesus Christ if He Were to Make an Appearance

28) Top 10 Locations to Get Struck by a Golf Ball in the Valley of the Sun

29) Top 100 Times Barry Goldwater Has Rolled Over in His Grave

30) Top 2 Distinguished ASU Graduates

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.