Chris Milke lived life on the edge, but he had no choice.
During the child's first two years, his alcoholic and drug-abusing father, Mark, weaved in and out of jail. His mother, Debbie, partied hard, scraping by and moving the kid around from apartment to apartment, city to city. The stormy young couple separated in February '87, and Debbie filed for divorce the following year. It became final while Mark was behind bars yet again.
The child's last two years were even worse.
Just before Christmas '88, Chris landed in the hospital with thyroid problems.
Just before last Christmas, when Chris was barely four years old, someone took him out in the desert on the far west side near 99th Avenue and Happy Valley Road and shot him three times in the back of the head. He died curled in the fetal position, a wad of chewing gum clenched between his teeth.
Last week, Debbie Milke, 26, was convicted of first-degree murder and conspiracy in the death of her son. Fighting similar charges are the alleged hit man, Jim Styers, 43, and his longtime friend Roger Mark Scott, 42.
Styers, who shared his apartment with Debbie and Chris and baby-sat the boy full time, reported the child missing on December 2. He told police he was taking Chris to see Santa when the boy disappeared. The next day, Scott led detectives to the child's body and implicated Styers and Debbie Milke.
Debbie Milke's case hinged on her confession of December 3, which was neither taped nor signed. She tried to recant and pleaded her innocence, but it was her word against that of Phoenix Police detective Armando Saldate.
Why did prosecutors say she plotted to have her only child killed? She had told Saldate: "Look, I just didn't want him to grow up like his father. I'm not a crazy person, I'm not an animal, I just didn't want him to grow up like that." Saldate said Debbie told him "it would be better for her son to MD120 Col 1, Depth P54.04 I9.06 die" than to turn out like Mark Milke.
Prosecutor Noel Levy described that grotesque thinking as "the motor, the driving force" behind the murder.
The sins of the father were an old obsession of hers, according to letters written by Debbie Milke to Mark Milke in late '88 and early '89, and obtained by New Times. The letters reveal that a full year before Chris was murdered, the child was exposed to a confused blend of love, hate and anger from an enormously troubled young mother.
The letters cover a key period in Chris Milke's life: His mom was at a self-professed crossroads. She had just moved back to Arizona from a disastrous stay in Colorado (she returned with no furniture or car) and claimed to be full of remorse. Barely two weeks after Debbie Milke won her divorce from Mark, she started writing to him, in care of the Arizona State Prison in Florence. Debbie Milke moved in with Mark's mother in the northwest Valley and commuted by bus to a clerk-secretary job near South Mountain.
And she vowed to change her ways.
MDRVNovember 2, 1988
"Dear Mark--
"Hi! I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me. I thought I'd write to you because there's so much I want to tell you and ask you. . . . Things are going OK for me. I've done a lot of crazy things lately and had so much time to evaluate myself. I really made a mess of my life again but I really came to grips with myself now. After you went to jail, I couldn't handle anything around here anymore so I decided to leave town. I was running away again thinking things would be better on the other side. It took me 800 miles from home and some deep soul searching to finally realize what kind of person I really was.
"Over all the years I have hurt people who cared and used people to get my way. After you were out of my life I felt so alone and confused and didn't know how to guide myself. I realized how I took Chris away from people who love him and saw how it affected him. I then decided that I will soon be 25 and it's about damn time I grow up and get my shit together.
"I had one more chance to come back to Phoenix and prove myself. So, here I am back in town. I've been here a week so far and I already found a job. I know this may be hard for November 6, 1988
"Dear Mark--
"Hi! How's it going? It was nice to hear your voice. . . . "I think by hitting rock bottom and having to start all over makes me feel stronger and more wiser. Did you enjoy talking with Chris? He really misses you Mark. I sure hope you completely change your ways about life. This is no life for him to constantly try and understand. If he really means that much to you then you will most definitely clean up your act. You are one that he will look up to while he's growing up.
"How would you feel if your son grew up knowing you can't stay out of trouble and always went to prison? How would November 13, 1988
" . . . I've always loved you Mark since I met you but I just couldn't handle your drinking anymore. . . . I never really wanted the divorce but I felt our lives and marriage wasn't going anywhere. Over the years you spent time in jail every year. I surely thought that after Chris was born you would change. Obviously not. We needed a stable home life and you couldn't give us that. My last and final result to see if you would change was to file for divorce and have sole custody of Chris.
"Granted, I haven't been the best mother but at least I don't get into trouble Mark.
"I also know that I haven't been the best wife either. But my reactions went hand in hand with your drinking. You say you want me to change the custody part because it's not fair. Well--is it fair to go on a drinking binge because you're stressed out? Is it fair to associate with scum and have Chris around that? . . . It's not fair for Chris to have a part-time dad. How would you feel when he goes to school and kids tease him because his daddy is in prison. Is that fair? I don't think that at this time it would be wise to change the custody. You are still his daddy and that will never change. I did not take away your parental rights Mark. Please try and November 23, 1988
" . . . I've just been so tired with the schedule I keep these days. Riding the bus everyday takes a lot out of me. I have to leave 2 hours earlier and I don't get home until 7:30 at night. It really sucks. It's kind of hard to save up for a car because we need to eat and I have to pay the babysitter . . . . "My whole family makes me sick. . . . I feel so close to you and your mother and that's enough for me. I just wish I could erase all the bad things in the past . . . . "I still love you Mark and I hope this time things work out for us. We just have to start all over and that should be fun to do together. But this time I want to do it right. Enclosed are pictures of Chris. I wrote stuff on the back of each picture. . . . "SMILE. I love you. Love always, Debbie"
MDRVDecember 7, 1988
" . . . I have been so exhausted lately because of my worries with Chris. I'm sure he will be fine but it's just so frustrating. Those doctors . . . piss me off because I feel like I get the runaround. At least I don't have to worry about the medical bills. My job has been excellent about all of this. They told me not to worry about a thing. . . . "I really want us to work out our relationship and start over again. My family will not be involved again either. We both deserve to try again without any interference. I love you Mark. . . . I want to be a good wife, lover and friend to you. Also a good mother to Chris. . . . Take care of yourself sweetheart! I love you and I think of you. Debbie"
MDRVDecember 13, 1988
" . . . I am so exhausted. Tonight was the first time I didn't go see Chris. I just need some time to myself, I feel like I've been running on empty for the last 2 weeks . . . .
"Anyway, I received your letter today and it was very nice. As far as Chris goes, we're not for sure how long he'll be in the hospital. They won't release him until the swelling is completely gone. It's frustrating because I want him home, especially for Christmas. By this weekend I should know whether he needs surgery or not. . . . "
"I told you Chris & I got on AHCCCS. Well the dumb bitch lied to me and told me all of his medical expenses would be paid. I found out Monday that the first 3 days I would be responsible for. I was pissed . . . "I went back to work this week and I am swamped with work. At least it keeps my mind occupied and I don't think of Chris so much . . . . "I'm so thankful for your mother getting me that brand new car. It's a cute car, not what I really wanted but at least it's wheels and no more bus! . . . My dad thinks the car is in my name. He doesn't know that I had your mom co-sign . . . .
"I thought I could get a furnished apartment and buy pieces a few at a time and stuff it in a storage. I know exactly what colors I want so I'll go from there. I want to do Chris' room first and buy him a waterbed. K mart sells Sesame Street sheets, California Raisins sheets and Mickey Mouse sheets. He loves the California Raisins! Everytime they come on TV he runs to see them. . . . This Saturday I'm going shopping for Chris. So, I'll be busy. He wants a lot of things. I'll spend $50 this week and $50 next week. That should be enough. He's not at a greedy age yet so he won't know. Shit, he'll be happy with 2 or 3 presents. But I want to make it nice for him. He sure knows what Santa Claus does. He is so smart. Soon you'll be home to see how he is . . . . He looks just like you too. Sometimes I find myself calling him Mark and he'll say, `I'm Chris, my daddy is Mark,' so I say, `Sorry, Chris.' He's an absolute doll. I love his age. . . . Love you. Debbie"
MDRVDecember 28, 1988
" . . . You are definitely stubborn and now I know where Chris got it from . . . . You need to take your life more serious and Christopher's as well. What kind of father can you be behind bars? . . . How many more chances do you think you'll get? I was fortunate enough to get another chance--excellent job, new car and a place to stay--and I won't screw this up for nothing or nobody. . . . Chris has been a handful this last week. He is so testy. But he's doing fine. You'll see soon . . . . Love always. Debbie"
MDRVJanuary 3, 1989
" . . . Sorry it always takes so long to write but I have been extremely busy and then at the end of the day I just want to die. Chris keeps me going constantly. You just wait! You may want to go back to Florence after a few days with him. He's so wild! But you'll love it I'm sure.
"I'm going to warn you--don't spoil him because he is definitely expecting it. He is very stubborn and we have had our rounds together. These next 3 years we really have to crack down on him because I don't want a delinquent when he starts school. He likes to have things his way and that's it. He doesn't listen either. You'll see.
"I had his hair cut the other day at a barber shop . . . . That old man did cut a little too much but Chris still looks cute. Christopher loved being pampered. He liked the shaver. I won't get it cut that short again. Boy--his ears look just like yours! SMILE! I'm just giving you hell! Christopher keeps asking for you--`when is my daddy coming home?' He misses you real bad. You better not screw up again because you'll let him down so bad. If that happens I doubt he'll ever respect you. Just think about it. . . . Only 3 more weeks--I hope you're hanging in there. Please just keep your head up . . . .
"Christopher is doing a lot better. His incision is all healed up. Nothing much has changed. I'll write more later to you. Chris wants me to go watch TV with him so I'll go for now. Love ya! Debbie"
MDRVJanuary 9, 1989
"Dear Mark--
"How's it going? Got your letter today. You sound pretty good. Your picture looks alright. Boy--you need to grow your moustache back! You need to do something with your hair too! You look so young. Chris didn't know who you were. He didn't recognize you at all.
"Better stay out of trouble Mark. I'm almost afraid to see his reaction when he sees you. Don't feel bad if he restrains from you. You have to give him time. As far as discipline is concerned, you can't spoil him and then a month later start disciplining him. That's not right. You need to show him who's boss right off. I mean it. He won't feel bad if you discipline him right away. Then he'll know right away where you're coming from.
"You can't make up for lost time Mark. He's grown a lot since the last time you saw him. Stability is the most important thing Chris needs and we both are to blame for his actions today. I made up my mind when I stepped on the airplane in Denver that I was going to change my ways and give Chris what he deserves. You have to do the same thing when you walk out those gates on the 27th. It's either a normal life with Chris and give him what he needs or you can stay where you're at. It's totally up to you. I will not HOPE anymore that you will change. Do you understand? I think you believe that this is all a game Mark. It's not. You can't pop in and out of his life. God gave me one more chance and you deserve the same right.
"So think about it. I'm hoping Florence taught you a valuable lesson because Christopher's life obviously hasn't. He's almost 4 years old and look at all you missed out on. You should be ashamed of yourself.
"I'm ashamed of myself for all I've done but I finally came to the realization of how important my son is to me. I'll never screw up again either. I think I got my point across. Don't always think of yourself. The way you write you sound like you're dying for sex . . . Well what about what Chris has been without? Do you ever think of things to do with him? He would love to have his daddy again forever! Why are you so worried that I am screwing around? I told you I wasn't and that should be the end of it. I'm not Mark so don't worry about it, OK? Those days are over for me. I had my fun. Let's just see how things work out for the two of us . . . . Next week we're going to the Ice Capades. Should be fun. He'll really like that. See what you're missing? . . . I always think of you. Behave yourself! Love always--Debbie"
MDRV Not always.
Mark got out of jail in early '89, but he and Debbie didn't get back together. They did, however, continue fighting over custody of Chris. A few months later, Debbie moved into Jim Styers' apartment.
Styers was a permanently unemployed Vietnam vet on disability pay who complained of "hearing voices" and took Lithium, a drug used for manic-depressive problems. He had no job, a broken car and bleak prospects. Besides his baby-sitting chores for Debbie, he continued to hang out with Roger Scott, who had no job, no car and a destitute, invalid mother. Scott, who is on antiseizure drugs, has said he suffers from "brain shrinkage."
It was Scott who confessed and implicated his old high school chum. Styers, however, has fought the charges; his trial began this week.
Debbie's attorney, C. Kenneth Ray, argued that she was "a mother who loved her child . . . doing the best she could do." Roger Scott, however, said Debbie told him "she just had to get away from [Chris] and she just wasn't cut out to be a mother and that she wanted us to take care of it."
A short time after Debbie's arrest, Mark Milke returned a favor to his ex-wife. He struck up a correspondence, starting by sending money to Debbie's jailhouse account.
MDRVDecember 30, 1989
"Mark--
"Thanks for putting money on my books. I wish I could say more but I can't. Happy New Year! Debbie"
MDRVFebruary 2, 1990
"Mark--
"Thank you again for putting money on my books. I have read your letters and I appreciate your writing. The reason I have refused my visits is because I don't want contact with anyone until my trial is over. I have refused all of my visits, so it's not because of you. Mark, I wish I could say more but I can't. I just can't wait until I go to court. Also, I'm proud of you with your success in AA. As far as books--I get a library here. Since I've been in jail, I have become very familiar with John Bradshaw and his book `Healing the Child Within Yourself.' I have group therapy every day. Thank you for offering though.
"Well, I must go for now.
"Take care. Debbie"
end part 2 of 2
"Over all the years I have hurt people who cared and used people to get my way."
"I had one more chance to come back to Phoenix and prove myself. So, here I am back in town."
"We have to make the best possible life for him. He did not ask to come here."
"I am growing up and starting all over. I either sink or swim this time."
"Chris is not a baby anymore and you can't hide anything from him."
"I use the belt on him. I don't know what else to do."
"Granted, I haven't been the best mother but at least I don't get into trouble."
"Is it fair to associate with scum and have Chris around that?"
"I messed around a lot and partied and didn't stop to think about Chris."
"I just wish I could erase all the bad things in the past.
