Finally, a way to get rid of Maricopa County's geriatric gendarme Sheriff Joe, and he doesn't even have to get indicted by the feds! Though that would still be pretty sweet.
In a message to Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon publicized today, La-la Land Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa says the City of Angels will take custody of Arpaio, should the Suns bounce back from their loss yesterday, and best the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals.
"Should the Suns prevail," cracks Villaraigosa, "we will humbly accept ownership of `American's Toughest Sheriff,' Joe Arpaio, Sheriff of Maricopa County. Perhaps a stint in Los Angeles would teach him that you cannot deduce immigration status simply by looking at a person."
I wouldn't bet on that last part...though hizzoner just did.
Still, in the words of the late, great Henny Youngman, "Take my sheriff, please."
(For Mayor Phil's reply to Villaraigosa's wager, please see below.)
The
Honorable Antonio Villaraigosa
Mayor,
City of
200 N.
Spring St.
Dear
Mayor Villaraigosa:
Thanks so
much for your letter, and for laying down such generous terms for our wager on
the outcome of the Suns-Lakers series.
We're
still confident in "Los Suns," even after the Game One loss. That's
why we're ready to double down on our bet.
Should
the Lakers win the series - a feat made more tricky, we assume, by your team's
likely decision to boycott Phoenix and forfeit Games 3, 4 and 6 - we will
happily accept both Steve Poizner and Meg Whitman. Though you may consider them
far to the right, in the Arizona Legislature they would be considered RINOs -
and we could use a few more of those here.
Should
the Suns win, we'll be sad to see Sheriff Arpaio go, though we've long believed
his true destiny lies in
Thanks so
much for your cooperation with this wager. We're also looking forward to
hosting a happy group of school students at an upcoming Diamondbacks game, once
the Suns emerge victorious.
Good luck
and go
Very truly yours,
Phil Gordon
Mayor
