On Friday, we asked readers to write the caption for the above photo of Sheriff Joe Arpaio's lead birther "investigator," Mike Zullo.
After sifting through all the responses -- as usual, some of them more politically correct than others -- we've narrowed it down to five finalists.
Only one person will win the pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, along with a firm handshake and/or high-five, and deciding that winner is up to you.
My next book, co-authored with sheriff joe, will be titled "Tax Payer Funded Vacations Made Easy".
"We searched both high and low for proof that President Obama was born in Hawaii, but no, we did not search to my immediate left. Why do you ask?"
I'm a used car salesman an I approved this whackjob conspiracy theory.
Settle down, everyone, while I show you the slides from my Hawaiian vacation.
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"I'm a dumbass."
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