FLASHES

Flashes, 5-25

Proof: Fife’s Off His Gourd
Someone sent in this photo, and even though we don’t know what the occasion was, The Flash believes it’s worth 1,000 words. We do know the picture shows our esteemed governor, J. Fife Symington III, with a bunch of vegetables. There are some on his hat, too.

Did He Start at an Underground Paper?
Competing newspapers often aren’t kind to one another, but imagine how low Republic and Gazette executive editor John Oppedahl felt when he was identified by the Mesa Tribune as John Hypogeal.

“Hypogeal” means “located under the Earth’s surface.”
The Tribune’s May 18 business story about the proposed merger of the Republic and Gazette news staffs identifies Oppedahl as a subterranean creature four times.

Phil Boas, Tribune city editor, says the paper’s spell-check system was the culprit. That system somehow substituted Hypogeal for Oppedahl.

“It’s weird. That’s how it happened,” Boas says. “It was nothing against the Republic. We wish it hadn’t happened.”

To prove the plausibility of its gaffe, the Trib faxed a news account of similar problems at the Dallas Morning News, which blamed spell-check glitches for a story in which Intel Corporation was identified as Until Corporation, Intel executive Vinod Dham was tagged as Vaned Dam and Megatest Corporation became Megadeaths Corporation.

Gunning for Office
Most of The Flash’s fans are card-carrying National Rifle Association members. So when the NRA hit town, The Flash was flooded with requests for info on how hard-earned donations are being utilized locally.

Here’s what the NRA’s Political Victory Fund donated to Arizona’s Republican congressmen during the 1993-94 season, when a $5,000 limit applied to the primary and general-election cycles (ten grand total): Representative J.D. Hayworth, $9,900; Representative John Shadegg, $5,500 (plus $2,450 this year); Senator Jon Kyl, $4,950; Representative Matt Salmon, $4,500 (plus $2,450 this year); Representative Jim Kolbe, $500. During his 1992 reelection bid, Senator John McCain was awarded $9,900 by the Victory Fund.

Two Arizona representatives–Ed Pastor and Bob Stump–got nothing in ’93-94. Pastor is a Democrat, and Stump, a former Democrat, was formerly alive.

Now, how about those commie gun-control freaks? The Handgun Control Voter Education Fund doled out dollars to Dems thusly: Senate nominee Sam Coppersmith, $5,142; Senate primary hopeful Richard Mahoney, $250; House nominee Chuck Blanchard, $500; House nominee Carol Cure, $500; House member Karan English, who was unseated by Hayworth, $7,368.