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Joe Arpaio, "Media Whore," at the Nixon Library

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Sheriff Joe took his shuck-and-jive to the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, California Tuesday, where he wowed a crowd of blue-hairs with his Sopranos-esque "dees, dats and does."

The YouTube video above, which borrows (read: "rips off") footage from an Orange County Register video and a Fox News report of the event, has all the highlights, including an appearance by washed-up former TV star Lou Ferrigno. 

What the video doesn't capture is this ditty from Arpaio regarding his former employer, President Richard Nixon:

"Nixon is one of, if not the, best presidents we've ever had," the Register quotes him as saying.

Yeah, Joe, that Watergate stuff -- totally overblown. 

Arpaio worked in the Drug Enforcement Administration under Nixon, and considering the fact that Joe's being investigated by several federal agencies, he's apparently patterned the MCSO after the Nixon White House.

I like a couple of parts of this video, which was uploaded by a pro-Joe, anti-immigrant YouTube account.

The first is where Arpaio complains that the Fourth Estate "calls me a publicity hound," though reporters come from all over to interview him.

"I had Belgium last week," he brags. "They come every week to see me."

Thing is, even Arpaio's top flack Lisa Allen has publicly referred to her boss as a "media whore." Arpaio would crawl over his parents' graves to sop up a smidgen of publicity from the tiniest news outlet. 

Who does he think he's kiddin'? He even kvetches in his speech that there are too few protesters on hand. 

The second is a line he delivers to the delight of the alter kockers in the crowd.

"You know what burns me up?" he says. "When they say we have to hire illegals because no American will do da job. That's the biggest insult ina world." [sic]

Whoever spouts this nativist bull should be forced to pick lettuce in Yuma for a week, no matter their age. 

Why, I'll bet half the geezers in this audience hire day-laborers to keep their lawns trim. And you know they're not asking to see the jornaleros' work visas. 

We also learn that Joe likes to call the undocumented "illegals," and that he's afraid to eat at Mexican restaurants or McDonalds, likely because he fears the staff will spit in his food.

Might as well get over that one, Joe. I imagine every time you eat out -- no matter where -- there's some kitchen worker imitating Dane Cook's infamous gross-out scene in the film Waiting. If you've never seen it, you can watch the scene, here.

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