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Joe Arpaio's Scooby Doo Gang Nails Obama on Alleged Damning Phone Interview With 95-year-old Woman, Presents Zero Real Evidence

Photo by Jamie Peachey

Arpaio telling everyone what he contends is some really serious stuff.

An elderly man and his friend shouted about the president on Tuesday.

And Sheriff Joe Arpaio and so-called Cold Case Posse lead investigator Mike Zullo added nothing to their running total of zero evidence that President Obama's birth certificate is fake, which they presented at a highly publicized press conference.

The "evidence" that Zullo presented wasn't at all groundbreaking like the posse had built it up to be leading up to the presser -- just like the last time the posse did the buildup to a disappointing press briefing.

Still he railed about how, despite the reluctance on the part of Hawaiian officials to lend a hand to the investigation, the posse was able to come up with damning new "information."

See more photos from Arpaio's Birther investigation.

Zullo said his ace-in-the-hole is an alleged telephone conversation with an "amazingly sharp" 95-year-old woman named Verna K. Lee, who worked at the Hawaiian registrar's office where birth certificates were verified. Her signature is printed on Obama's birth certificate.

Zullo also was concerned about pencil markings on the birth certificate, codes Zullo said he managed to decipher.

He also cited the previous discovery of the birth certificates of two twins named Susan and Gretchen Nordyke, born the day after Obama but whose certificates were stamped with identification numbers lower than Obama's. If done properly, the birth certificates should be stamped in order, but they're gathered for stamping in stacks each month.

"Mistakes [don't] happen on my watch," the old lady Lee reportedly told conspiracy theorist Jerome Corsi -- a conversation in which Corsi introduced himself as a "reporter," and one that Zullo views as perfectly ethical.

Photo by Jamie Peachey
The media just can't help itself.

So after an exhaustive one-day search, he said the posse found Lee's phone number -- which we found after no more than 15 seconds on Google -- and she confirmed that no such mistakes would have been made. Zullo said it's up to the sheriff to decide if he'll release the old woman's audio.

Zullo insisted that the birther investigation is not an attack against Obama, which certainly doesn't help his credibility issues.

"I don't know what else to tell you," he said. "This isn't us chasing down the president. Everybody wants to make it that. I'm really at a loss to understand why it's so difficult for people to understand that this isn't politically motivated."

(We apologize if you just laughed so hard that you spit your drink all over your computer.)

Things got a little testy at one point with the media -- which Arpaio believes has unfairly criticized the investigation. Arpaio would not address any questions concerning the MCSO deputy who was sent to Hawaii to investigate with Zullo, nor would he answer any questions outside of the "evidence" presented.

"Look at the evidence and stop worrying about who's in bed with who," Arpaio said.

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However, with yet another underwhelming presentation, the media's patience appeared to be wearing thin with the birther investigation. Thankfully, Arpaio said he and his birther posse have done all they can. Now, he's calling for Congress to take up the investigation, commending his posse for undertaking a two-man investigation that would have taken "100 federal agents" to do.

How many investigators it takes to avoid bungling hundreds of sex crimes, we couldn't tell you.

Also on Arpaio's upcoming calendar is answering accusations of racial-profiling practices by his office, in a trial scheduled to start Thursday in federal court here.

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