Letters from the issue of Thursday, September 29, 2005

Girl-on-Girl Reaction

Curious no longer: Your thesis on bi-curious women is something I've always observed, but I've never seen anything written about it before in the press ("The Vagina Dialogues," Sarah Fenske, September 15). The fact is, women are almost always more attracted to other women's bodies than to men's (unless, of course, the man has that perfect muscle tone: more Brad Pitt and less Arnold Schwarzenegger). So it only makes sense that we girls would want to at least experiment with rolling around in the sack with each other.

And who better than the experienced lesbian to take us on this journey that few of us would take without a steady hand on the throttle (so to speak)?

I can't tell you how impressed I was with your story; it was truly a breath of fresh air in the world of hardball journalism that is normally New Times' forte. In fact, it impressed me so much that I have now acted on a fantasy I've always had over my boyfriend's best friend (a lesbian). Even he loves it, because we let him watch, after which he and I enjoy each other's bodies. Jane (his friend) isn't really interested in sex with a man, naturally, so he has to settle for just me, which is the only way I could have it on his end.

The point you made about women being the only true bisexuals turns out to be right on point in my case. Bisexuality was something I had always feared, but after reading your story, I'm not scared anymore. I'm embracing a whole new world!
Taryn Matheson, Tempe

75 percent trash: You should be ashamed of yourselves for publishing "The Vagina Dialogues" and putting that picture of two girls kissing on your cover. I've had a hard time explaining to my kids why people of the same sex are passionately embracing each other in news racks all over town.

Please, New Times, I know you're trying desperately to be edgy, but have some decency. Everybody in the world isn't interested in sexual perversion. It's bad enough that you run that Inferno column each week. Now this!

You spend so much time bashing Sheriff Joe Arpaio, but I think it's time that he did something about the foul trash you put on the streets three weeks out of four. Maybe Sarah Fenske should spend a little time in Tent City to find out about the real lesbian chic.
Barbara Jo Johnson, Phoenix

Pleasure does not equal satisfaction: Oh, my God, those chicks on the cover of New Times were hot! They were almost enough to turn me into a lesbian, or a bisexual (as the case may be).

Sure, I'm a woman and find women's bodies artistic and even visually stimulating, but when it comes down to it, I need something more. And I don't mean a battery-powered dildo. Or a strap-on.

While I might play around with women -- that is, be a pillow queen and drunkenly allow a girl to give me pleasure -- I need a man for satisfaction.

This is why I believe that Sarah Fenske's story merely explores a fad, a trend, nothing more. Real women will always need what only real men can offer.
S.J. O'Malley, Phoenix

Everything you never wanted to know about sex: When I first read in "The Vagina Dialogues" that "more women may be bi-curious than gay or straight" and that "taken as a group, the difference between the reactions of gay and straight women [to porn] was almost imperceptible," I was astonished. But maybe there is less to this than meets the eye.

Maybe this is just a reflection of the conventional wisdom (supported by Darwinian psychology) that sex tends to be more of an end in itself for men, while for women its greatest importance is its role in creating, nurturing and defining a relationship.

Thus, for men, "sexual orientation" is narrowly defined as "who do you want to have intercourse with?" while for women, it's more broadly defined as "who do you want to have a committed, long-term, deeply intimate relationship with?"

If so, then asking the "male" question of females is bound to lead to confusing and even misleading answers. And if the conventional wisdom is correct, it's also not surprising to learn that women who seek sexual gratification outside of a committed relationship tend to find that the experience affects them in unexpected ways.
Steve Wallin, Phoenix

What men like: I was very disappointed but not surprised to read the article about bi-curious women. I'm sorry to see there are still so many women out there confusing sexual power with real power, and being so willing to compromise themselves for a thrill they never knew they wanted, and, for that matter, did not want until peer-group pressure forced them.

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