February 16, 2010 | 6:49pm
Just read the big news that neo-Nazi hugger and bigot Russell Pearce got his plan to erect the Ten Commandments outside the old state Capitol through committee. Yep, Arizona may not have enough dough to keep its rest stops or its MVD offices open, but there's enough money for this hypocritical bull.
In the piece by Howie Fischer, state Senator Pearce calls the commandments "10 little rules" that we should all abide by. And what if you revere, say, Buddha rather than Yahweh? Tough sushi, there, Yoko.
Pearce's pal state Senator Sylvia Allen suggested that the minority should be more "tolerant" of the majority, even if the majority, like, has all the power and stuff.
Pearce averred that the United States was founded on the principles of the Ten Commandments.
This assertion is as bogus as Pearce is asinine. The so-called Founding Fathers were, generally, deists. That is they believed in a "clockwork god," who wound up the universe and let it run. They did not buy this hooey about every line of the Bible being historically accurate.
In fact, Thomas Jefferson went through the New Testament, literally cut out all of the miracles and the hocus pocus, and presented it to friends as The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth. Scholars call it The Jefferson Bible. Google it, people. I'm not making it up.
If Jefferson were alive today, he would regard Pearce as an ignorant, straw-sucking clodhopper. Check this quote from Jefferson concerning the New Testament:
"We discover in the gospels a groundwork of vulgar ignorance, of things impossible, of superstition, fanaticism and fabrication."
Or this one, from one of Jefferson's letters,
"Christianity neither is, nor ever was, a part of the Common Law."
Anyway, recalling that scene from Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part I, where Moses comes down from Mount Sinai with 15 commandments, and breaks a tablet, thus making them "Ten Commandments," I have five little commandments for Pearce.
Maybe we can get up the scrilla to add a plaque to Arizona Senate building so he'll see them when he saunters in. Here goes:
1) Thou shalt not whack thy wife.
In 1980, Pearce's wife LuAnne signed off on a divorce petition accusing Pearce of spousal abuse. When I made the document public in 2008, Mrs. Pearce denied the allegations or that she'd ever made them. They were not divorced, and remain married.
2) Thou shall not cozy up to neo-Nazis or send out e-mails from white supremacist organizations.
Pearce was a pal of Mesa neo-Nazi J.T. Ready at one time. In 2006, Pearce forwarded a National Alliance e-mail to supporters. Oops!
3) Thou shalt not divorce thy first wife and get another wife, thereby, according to the Bible, possibly committing adultery.
Pearce was married before LuAnne to a lady named Karen. They had some contretemps as well, as I wrote about in 2008.
Thing is, according to Jay-sus,divorcing one woman and marrying another would be considered adultery, except for "marital unfaithfulness" on the woman's part. Check Matthew 19:9. And, no, I'm not going near that one...
4) Thou shalt not be a bigot.
Too late for Pearce there. Moving right along...
5) Thou shalt not engage in malfeasance while head of the Motor Vehicles Division.
Whoops, another one Pearce can't keep to. He was canned as MVD head in 1999 by ADOT Director Mary Peters when hanky-panky was discovered in his administration. When someone suggested Pearce had been cleared, Peters shot back, "There's a big difference between being cleared and choosing not to file criminal charges."
Hey, no one's perfect. Certainly not ol' Russ. So maybe he needs a reminder. I'll be taking up a collection to add these five amendments to a brass plaque next to the original ten...