Feathered Bastard

Russell Pearce's Softer, Gentler Side, via the Video Stylings of Constantin Querard

Soft and cuddly this Mesa muttonhead will never be

I sure hope recalled ex-state Senate President Russell Pearce doesn't bow out of the GOP state Senate primary in Legislative District 25, as some have been speculatin' in the blogosphere.

Why? Well, because that would rob me of the immense pleasure of watching the 12-point loser get crushed yet again by a newbie Republican politician, in this case deep-pockets SkyMall-founder Bob Worsley

Also, it would leave me with one less deserving target of my invective. Pearce, disbarred former County Attorney Andrew Thomas, J.T. Ready, they're all falling by the wayside, all of the far right loonies. Well, not all, but some of the most heinous of the lot, that's for sure.

If Pearce stays in the game, that allows me a couple more months of material while I seek out new villains to torment. Material like the lame video above of a kinder, gentler Pearce, no doubt created by Pearce's creepy snake-in-the-grass consultant, the ever-slithery Constantin Querard. 

This thing is freaking hi-larious. The soft lighting. The living room setting. The attempt to make Pearce seem like a human being instead of an aggro bully-bigot who's one step away from donning a sheet and reenacting the Klan scene from O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Well, I hate to break it to you, Russ, but no matter how gentle you try to seem, no matter how many babies you hold for the camera (like the one at the end), and no matter how much you lie and claim that you're for improving education, you'll always be what you are: an ogre with a record of doing everything in your power to hurt this state's kids.

The last year you were in the Legislature, Pearce backed a budget that slashed $148 million from K-12 education. According to Education Week, Arizona currently ranks 44 overall out of the 50 states and the District of Columbia. Pearce has done nothing to help lift that ranking.

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Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons