Smell Test

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What's the point of all this? Lory's going to lose, big time, and if people remember him, they'll recall his desperate swing to the radical right in the hope of scoring a pitiful few more votes.

As the mayoral race draws to a close, all this Goober-phobic goose can say is that douche Lory is beginning to make that merde sandwich look edible by comparison.


Sanctuary city, this sweet skylark's caboose! Tell it to 18-year-old Virginia Gutierrez, an honors graduate from North High School who was pulled over by Phoenix po-po August 11 for a routine traffic stop — and found herself deported to Nogales, Mexico in less than a week.

Gutierrez matriculated this May with a couple of small scholarships under her belt to help her attend ASU, her friends and former teachers told this wild turkey. Pals say she was stopped for a busted taillight. Whatever the reason for the stop, police spokeswoman Stacie Derge says Gutierrez's vehicle was impounded because she didn't have a driver's license. Gutierrez later requested a hearing to get the car back, went to police HQ downtown, and was popped for presenting a fake Mexican license from Chihuahua, Mexico. Specifically, she was arrested for forgery and booked into the Fourth Avenue Jail later that day.

Because of Prop 100, which was passed in '06 and seeks to deny bail to illegal aliens for serious offenses, Phoenix PD has to answer two questions regarding someone it's booking: whether the alleged offense is a Class 4 felony or above; and whether the person has entered or remained in the United States illegally. According to ICE flack Vinnie Picard, Gutierrez was ID'd as an illegal while being booked into jail by Phoenix police.

Now does that sound like Steve Lory's so-called sanctuary city to you?!

In any case, ICE was notified of Gutierrez. They prevailed upon her to sign voluntary deportation paperwork, even though, according to Picard, she could've fought deportation and not gone voluntarily. Picard claimed that agreeing to a voluntary deportation is common because if you take the one-way bus trek to the border, you retain the right to apply to return. But if you contest deportation, and face an official order of removal, you may not be able to return to the United States for a decade.

Despite the fact that, according to her friends, she'd been in this country since she was a toddler, Gutierrez signed off on voluntary deportation and was on a bus to Nogales on August 16.

"She was afraid to be in that jail," one friend who wished to remain anonymous told this tweeter. "She just wanted to get out of there."

Seems her 'rents weren't able to see her 'cause of the fact that they're undocumented. See, Sheriff Joe Arpaio has a policy of barring (and possibly arresting) illegals who stop by his jails for visits, even if they are parents wanting to see their children.

It's unclear if she had legal representation. Local immigrants-rights activist Lydia Hernandez was attempting to advise her. She believes Gutierrez made a mistake in signing the voluntary deportation.

Folks like Lory, Russell Pearce, and Rusty Childress would likely say, "Don't let the knob hit you on the way out, Ginny." They insist kids like Virginia have to "obey the law" even if the law is fucked, even if such promising teens have lived in the AZ almost all their lives, and even if they might have made a significant contribution to American society — particularly if they'd been offered a path to residency or citizenship, through a proposed piece of legislation like the DREAM Act.

No, Virginia, you can't stay. But redneck peckerwoods like Pearce, Childress, et al.? We're stuck with 'em for life! All 'cause the dillweeds just happen to have been born here.


This beak-bearer's blogging brother-in-wings, Feathered Bastard, loves riffin' on graffiti and often posts images of this urban art form, hoping to see more and better street art in a city where most public art bites javelina 'nads. See, this cuckoo canary's from L.A. (most recently), and writing on walls, stencils, murals, and colorful "pieces" (large, stylized works; not just tags) make him hanker after his old digs in Hollyweird.

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Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons