Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard wants your take on why he fumbled so badly against Governor Jan Brewer in the recent gubernatorial race. Well, actually, according to a note on his FaceBook site Terry Goddard for Governor, Terry's "taking a break" from FB-ing. So it's really Goddard's volunteers who are asking for contributions to a "debrief" on his campaign FaceBook page.
Since they're soliciting suggestions, what about a fistful of barbituates, followed by a fifth of Jim Beam? But that would be mean, and we all know Goddard's a good guy. It's just that there's no fight left in that dog. If there ever was any to start.
So avoid the Seconal, Terry, and do us all a favor: Resign from public life after your term as state Attorney General is up. You were a drag on the ticket, you pulled about 70,000 votes less than the Dems' state Attorney General candidate Felecia Rotellini, and you failed to properly exploit Governor Jan "We Have Did" Bewer's brain malfunction during the Clean Elections debate.
I know, I know, the Donkey-Kongs have a soft spot for ya. And it wouldn't shock me a-tall if they -- stupidly -- kept you around and tried to run you for something else, like Jon Kyl's U.S. Senate seat, as one commenter suggests, or even governor again. You know, for the fourth time.
That's because, sadly, Arizona Dems don't seem to mind losing. And you're the poster-boy for failure. So think of the party, and not of yourself, and disappear. Amscray. Make yourself invisible. Capisce? Don't worry. You'll be spoken of highly in the past tense, I assure you.
Because more's at stake here than just the party. The fate of Arizona is in the hands of the state Senate's redneck Stalin -- majority leader-elect Russell Pearce. And the Dems cannot afford to be led -- even titular-ly --by a massive milquetoast.
Actually, despite her loss to GOPer and AG-elect Tom Horne, I would argue that Rotellini should now be the Dems' titular head. After all, she's the top vote-getter in the state for the Dems, she scraps like a freakin' Tasmanian devil, and if 1070 had not been in Horne's quiver, she'd likely be AG-elect right now.
Sorry, but I'm tired of seeing Goddard's mug, and the Dems should be too, if they care to win some contests next time around.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.