Listen, we're not the ones who come up with this stuff. We're just the messengers.
That said, some industry research reportedly shows which states have the men with the largest penises. That industry research is that of an online condom retailer, Condomania, which gathered information on where it was shipping specific sizes of condoms. So it's not science, but it's enough for the company to release rankings of states with the highest proportions of XL penises. Check out the top 10, which includes Arizona:
10.) South Carolina
Home of the Gamecocks.
9.) New York
The Empire State Building was erected here.
The ol' Alabama Sledgehamma.
Home of the one-armed Saguaro cactus.
Wikipedia says "Ohio" comes from an Iroquois word meaning "great river."
Shove that in your Masshole.
4.) District of Columbia
It's not a state, but it's well-known as the place with the biggest dicks in the country.
3.) South Dakota
The size of Mount Rushmore?
2.) Rhode Island
Big things come in small packages. Or big packages come in small things . . . something like that.
1.) North Dakota
Huh. Mark that up next to the only other thing people know about North Dakota: It's a state.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.