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On Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the Only Coast That Counts

Not sure if this has been asked before, but how do you feel about Arizona's Sheriff Joe Arpaio? I think the guy's a fucking racist who's just out to get Mexicans to fulfill his racist agenda. Fuck Nickel-Bag Joe I love Sheriff Joe! Yeah, he might be waging a scorched-earth...
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Adult Swim Entertainment

Allow us to wax philosophical for a moment as we contemplate the meaning of human existence. Is it to find love? To seek enlightenment? Don’t be naive. If late-night TV commercials and the constant stream of video uploads on YouTube are any indication, the root of the human experience is...
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Night Out: 999 Eyes Freak Show at The Trunk Space

By Wynter Holden See more shots from 999 Eyes Freak Show in our slide show. Met any freaks lately? Now, by "freaks" I don't mean the black trenchcoat wearing, Twilight book reading, A Perfect Circle listening, tragically hip wannabe goth set. Or the scary dudes who post pictures of their...
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Hot Links: Tony Alamo Arrested in Flagstaff, Dowling Sues County for $1.75M, Man Videotapes Chupacabra, McCain Says It’s On Like Donkey Kong..

By Stephen Lemons Cultish pastor Tony Alamo nabbed in northern Arizona by FBI. At first McCain was flakin', now he's headed for debate. Dowling sues Arpaio and county for $1.75M. Supes not allowing public comment in do-over meeting. Postseason hopes dashed for D-Backs. Citizen's Denogean finds clergy who oppose gay-marriage...
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On Anchor Babies and Mexican Penis Sizes

What is an anchor baby? I am a 45-year-old male born in the U.S.A. My mother was born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Serbia), and my father was also born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Croatia). My father arrived to this country via a green card about four years before I was born and...
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Is Dave Matthews the ultimate cock blocker?

Here are two situations you have probably found yourself in if you (a) have a penis, and (b) are/were not in a fraternity: Number one: While at a friend's generally lame party (he just played Journey), you meet a girl who looks as bored as you. She's beautiful, and that...
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Nile

Everybody together now: Anoint my phallus with the blood of the FALLEN!! With that quaint little sing-along, South Carolina death metal institution Nile takes cock rock to an all new level. Potential latent menstruation envy aside, you gotta give Nile leader Karl Sanders credit for sticking to his, uh ...
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Current art shows, exhibitions, and installations

"Mike Medow: The Second Life of Wood" at the West Valley Art Museum: Remember when you were a kid and you used to do gross stuff just to be funny, like sculpting mud to look like dog poop and eating it to freak out your little sister? Man, that was...
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Pop Culture Club

Our introduction to Dane Cook came abruptly one night, when, out of boredom or curiosity, we turned to Saturday Night Live and watched in amazement as the host, a fairly normal-looking, frattish-type man, energetically described flicking a cashew off his erect penis. The monologue went on for some time --...
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The Llamas and the Papas

Ive run into a problem with my wife. Id like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she wont allow it. How can I convince her that its a long and honored Mexican tradition to do so? Tejano Rick P.S.: How and...
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Below the Belt

It came as little surprise to most people in the know that Buckeye Police Chief Dan Saban lost his recent defamation trial against Sheriff Joe Arpaio and company. That's not to say that Saban didn't have legitimate gripes with how key members of the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office had worked...
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G-man Jackoff: FBI Agent caught with pants down at UofA

J. Edgar Hoover must be rollin' over in his bloomers: One of his FBI agents, a hardened criminal? That's the tale told by campus cops at Tucson's University of Arizona, where Agent Ryan Seese was arrested May 3, shortly after a cleaning lady observed him whackin’ off in the women's...
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Groupie Think

"I've never had so much fun standing in line in my life!" My friend Bones is thrilled that we are, indeed, standing in line at Scottsdale's Martini Ranch on a recent Tuesday night, because when we get to the end of this line, we'll be meeting the members of Tesla,...
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Wieners’ Circle

"Ten bucks says I can get one of these guys to show me their wiener," my friend Toxic JuJu tells me, as we grab some seats at the bar inside Pumphouse II to take in a gay male revue. I look around the bar. The place is packed with men,...