Chris Malloy
Audio By Carbonatix
Recently, Tucson.com had a brilliant idea – round up one-star reviews of the Grand Canyon from Yelp, Trip Advisor, and Google. Complaints ranged from the natural wonder’s lack of Wi-Fi, roller coasters, and Dippin’ Dots to a simply stated, “Ehh. I’ve seen better.”
Our brains began whirring at the thought of scouring Yelp, a collection of some of the Valley’s most outspoken restaurant critics, for low-star recaps of some of our favorite Phoenix dining destinations.
Below are low-star Yelp reviews as well as a few that stood out to us as super enthusiastic and purely comical. Just for fun, here are 10 of Phoenix’s best restaurants and their … more interesting … ratings.
Barrio Cafe
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2814 North 16th Street, #1205 Yelp Yelp
Owned and operated by Chef Silvana Salcido Esparza, Barrio Cafe been around since 2002 and is known for next-level Mexican fare, a tequila-based drink program, and famous guacamole.
Binkley’s Restaurant
2320 East Osborn Road Yelp Yelp
Formerly in Cave Creek, Binkley’s Restaurant moved to its current location in 2016. Chef Kevin Binkley offers New American dishes with wine pairings in an upscale atmosphere.
Cartwright’s Modern Cuisine
6710 East Cave Creek Road, Cave Creek Yelp Yelp
Brett Vibber is the executive chef at Cartwright’s Modern Cuisine, an upmarket restaurant in Cave Creek serving New American meals often with foraged ingredients.
Cotton & Copper
1006 East Warner Road, #113, Tempe Yelp Yelp
A south Tempe restaurant and bar overseen by chef Tamara Stanger, Cotton & Copper serves New Arizonan styles of cooking and thoughtful cocktails.
FnB Restaurant
7125 East Fifth Avenue, #31, Scottsdale Yelp Yelp
Chef-owner and James Beard Award winner Charleen Badman plates imaginative vegetable and New American dishes at FnB, while beverage director Pavle Milic oversees the wine and drink program.
Kai Restaurant
5594 West Wild Horse Pass Boulevard, Chandler Yelp Yelp
Kai at the Sheraton Grand at Wild Horse Pass Resort is a AAA Five Diamond and Forbes Five Star restaurant serving Native American-influenced fare.
Nobuo at Teeter House
622 East Adams Street Yelp Yelp
James Beard Award winning-chef Nobuo Fukuda was raised in Tokyo and now oversees the five-star omakase-style restaurant, Nobuo at Teeter House (set in the historic Bouvier Teeter House).
Pizzeria Bianco
623 East Adams Street Yelp Yelp
The influential wood-fired pizza joint was established by famed chef Chris Bianco. The original Pizzeria Bianco location is set in downtown Phoenix’s Heritage Square, and is known nationwide for its food and wait times. 
Rancho Pinot
6208 North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale Yelp Yelp
For more than 25 years, Chef Chrysa Robertson’s restaurant, Rancho Pinot, has been dishing out high-end American food with ingredients representing with the desert seasons. 
Talavera Restaurant
10600 East Crescent Moon Drive, Scottsdale Yelp Yelp
This Four Seasons restaurant serves high-end fare that almost matches the desert views. No one should visit Talavera without having an order of Chef de Cuisine Samantha Sanz’s seafood paella.
