25 Greatest Mustaches of All Time
Welcome to Movember, when the beards get shaved and men grow mustaches like every day. Handlebars, Fu Manchus, see hipsters trying, and 'staches don’t stop 'til December comes flying.
Musical parodies aside, here are the 25 greatest mustaches of all time.
You really thought the only reason your mom watched Jeopardy every day was to see how well she might do? Trebek’s mustache has been wooing Jeopardy fans for decades. Sure, he shaves it on occasion, but that’s just so people don’t take it for granted.
One of rock history’s greatest guitarists had one of facial-hair history’s most underrated mustaches. Modern rockers can only hope to achieve the iconic mustachioed greatness of this legend.
The man behind the mustache: Nick Offerman.
Nick Offerman might shave his mustache sometimes, but Ron Swanson never would. It’s the type of manly mustache that your dad aspired to have in the '80s and '90s. The only person who could possibly ruin a mustache so great? Tammy.
There are old-school Western mustaches, and then there are old-school Western mustaches. Wyatt Earp is the best of the bunch, and you'd better believe there’s a little Arizona pride on this one. Arguably the finest mustache the state has ever seen.
Twain probably would’ve written great books without his fabulous 'stache, but would they have reached Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn levels of greatness? Probably not.
Maybe the most intelligent mustache in history. Come on — you wouldn’t have seen a babyfaced guy coming up with the most famous relativity equation ever. Imagine Einstein without a mustache; he’d look super weird.
Rich Uncle Pennybags
How do you judge wealth? By the size and unadulterated whiteness of an old man’s mustache, of course. Half the fun of playing Monopoly as a kid was dreaming of one day growing such a magnificent 'stache (the other half was lying about how much your siblings owed you for landing on your spaces).
Dudley Do-Right’s archnemesis might not be the most effective villain, but he could be the most nefarious. Let’s face it — all he really wants out of life is to watch a lady get run over by a train. His facial-hair game is on point, though. Boris better hope Natasha never wants to improve her quality of mustache ride.
God might be dead, but great mustaches never die.
An avid proponent of the Second Amendment, Sam really can’t be blamed for his freewheeling use of firearms. Anyone with a mustache of that size and quality is probably guilty of a little reckless behavior based solely on confidence.
The biggest crime James Bond ever committed was not allowing Sean Connery to wear his phenomenal facial hair for his time as the spy. In hindsight, it’s a good thing Connery didn’t set a mustached precedent for Bond because we doubt any of the actors who followed would look half as good with that upper lip hair.
Eddie Murphy's career has ebbed and flowed, but his mustache will live on for all eternity.
Regardless of whether you think Eddie Murphy’s done anything funny this century (Shrek was all right), his mustache has always been synonymous with his comedy and will likely be remembered long after the world forgets how bad The Haunted Mansion was.
Veronica Corningstone might’ve had the guts to say San Diego’s most famous news anchor’s hair was ugly, but even she couldn’t insult his mustache. Without the amazing 'stache, Ron Burgundy wouldn’t be half the man we all know and love. He’d basically just be Chazz Michael Michaels or Ricky Bobby with a different haircut.
Read on for more of pop culture's best lip fuzz.
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