Audio By Carbonatix
Around 10 p.m. Tuesday, a section of the inflatable rubber dam that held Tempe Town Lake burst, sending waves of sun-baked, germ-infested water into the Salt River Bed.
The two-mile-long Town Lake that once was, could be no longer in a matter of hours, which means there’s going to be a whole lot of mud … and a whole lot else that’s been hiding under the murk.
Here are just a few of our predictions of what’s at the bottom.
Let’s start small.
Phase One of clean up is likely to yield the following:
– The inevitable abundance of empty beer cans, needles and feral cats
– Russell Pearce‘s toupee
– Plenty of trashy treasures for Angela Cazel Jahn‘s next installation
– Remnants of the native head shops and hippies
– Michael Crow‘s job applications to anywhere (and everywhere) out of town
Phase Two:
– Payton Curry‘s rabbit carcasses from Cafe Boa
– The failed PBR mural campaign
– Kilts from March’s Flogging Molly concert
– ASU’s Gallon Challenge Victims
– The Arizona Diamondbacks’ fan base
Phase Three:
– The Sun Devil Football Team’s Annual Broken Dreams (and Rudy Carpenter‘s dignity)
– A lock box containing: Andrew Thomas‘ ethics, Dennis Wilenchik‘s oil
portrait (pictured left), and the long unaccounted for concessions for Sheriff Joe Arpaio‘s jail vending machines
– The Insane Clown Posse
– All hope for the Arizona Democratic Party
And now for the things we couldn’t bring ourselves to put on the official list (in the interest of good taste) … Hell, we’ll share it with you anyway:
– Dan Harkins’ Dog
– Jan Brewer’s Plastic Surgery Bill
– Walter Cronkite
Clean up’s going to be a bitch.
