As you read this, my trusty burro, pigtailed chica and I are crisscrossing Aztlán researching Mexican food. So now is as bueno as any time to do some housecleaning for the columna. Hay que start with a letter from the Mexican’s longtime amigo, William Lobdell. For years one of the…

I am a retired gringa living in Mazatlán, Sinaloa. Most of us foreigners here are liberal and sympathetic to the immigration problem, which the U.S. Congress refuses to address in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, I get lots of e-mails from acquaintances “apprising” me of the horrible situation in el Norte,…

As an old gringo who calls himself a gringo (not a gabacho), I study Mexican culture and ask myself, “Where have I seen this before?” The answer invariably is: 1950s America, that’s where. Current Mexican culture in the United States is about 50 years behind current American culture. Back in…

I heard Mormonism is a quickly spreading religion down in ye olde Mexico. What is it about this religion that a lot of Mexicans find so fascinating? Jack Mormón Historically? Mexico has long had the second-largest community of Mormons in the world after the United States — official LDS figures…

Most Mexicans I know (myself included) feel it’s a terrible disrespect to keep old photos of you and your ex around, and vice versa. I’d never keep pictures of me and an ex around to try and push my new/current boyfriend’s buttons; I guess I feel it’s a slap in…

I’m a (poor) white girl, but I have to ask: What’s the deal with all the rich white girls playing such a big role in Fiesta? Why is it always rich white girls that get crowned? Don’t you think the majority of them should be Mexican girls since it’s Fiesta?…

The names of the couples in this story have been changed to protect their identities. If Juan and Juana were going to stage a fake marriage to help Juan get his green card, the two of them figured, they might as well treat some friends to a great meal. They…

Dear Readers: The Arizona pendejas have emboldened hundreds of Know-Nothings in the past week to boast to the Mexican that they’re not racist if they support SB 1070 because, according to them, they believe in the law and they have no problems with immigrants as long as they’re legal. Nosotros…

Why do the Mexicans hate American soccer and “hate” (bolded, underlined, and italicized) Landon Donovan? Uncle Sam’s Army Brat Because Mexicans hate Americans — duh! Geez, this is the literary equivalent of taking a penalty kick at this year’s FIFA World Cup with no goaltender — but I also want…

I’m a civil rights lawyer. I sue the San Diego Minutemen. Whenever the Minutemen are accused of being racist they always say something like, “I’m part-Hispanic,” or they’ll note that some of their members are Mexican. This last claim is actually true. Some of the most zealous Minutemen are actually…

I worked a summer job during college in southern Arizona during the late 1960s, when most of my co-workers were Mexicans from the state of Sonora. Their favorite expression when something was broken was no vale verga, literally “Not worth dick,” but actually meaning “totally fucked up.” What happened with…

I work at a high school where there is a significant number of our students without papers. Two students whom I had worked with for four years graduated last June (one from Mexico, the other from Paraguay), and they are now attending community college. Both have read your books. My…

I have a sister. I read your column each time it comes out in the Tucson Weekly. Once, we were talking about all the hatred against Mexicans in our state and my sister said, “Sis, why do they hate Mexicans so much in Arizona? Why do they hate us so…

Over the past couple of weeks, the Know-Nothing nation has invaded my inbox with the question of why can’t the United States follow the stringent immigration laws of Mexico. They’re merely parroting a recent column by the reprehensible Michelle Malkin, who thought that bringing up the issue was an original…

I was supposed to deliver this column to ustedes for Cinco de Drinko, but Arizona’s reprehensible SB 1070 bill had to rear its ugly head. I could devote this column to the issue again, but Mexican-hating is a national sport, and we must darle chingazos wherever it pops out. Big…

All together, now: ¡A la chingada with Arizona’s SB 1070! For those of ustedes too occupied with the your Drinko por Cinco hangover, the initiative I mentioned (signed a couple of weeks ago into law by Arizona’s governor) gives immigration powers to the state’s police officers and sheriff’s deputies and…

I have a friend who frequently wears a T-shirt that boldly states in big, badass Old English letters, “Hecho en México.” Five facts follow: • He was born 23 years ago in the United States, in Bellflower, California, • His truly Mexican parents were nowhere near Mexico when he was…

I’ve dated a few Mexican girls in the past couple of years and I’ve come to realize one big, important thing — most of the girls didn’t know how to cook, clean and, you know, bring that old-school Mexican flavor from the roots! What’s happening to all our true mexicanas?…

I know that Mexicans and pochos can be black, white, Asian, and indios, but I just got my United States census form. Figured you would be the best person to ask about question nine: Race. I know I’m not white, (I been pulled over too many times for BS reasons),…

In honor of April Fools’ Day, I turn this column over to Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project movement, to answer your preguntas. Enjoy! I’m a white, college-educated, liberal, democrat, socialist U.S. citizen. I don’t have any problem with Mexicans coming here to get a good job. In fact,…

I just read that Speedy Gonzales is getting his own feature film and will be voiced by George Lopez. I read in the The Hollywood Reporter that Lopez said he gave Speedy his “Latino Seal of Approval.” Who grants this seal? What does it look like? And how did Lopez…

By now, I’m sure you’re aware of all the hate crimes against Hispanics in the past few years. By now, I’m sure you’re thinking that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic! But let me tell you that all the hate crimes against Hispanics have been because they’ve…