In Garfield strips in the funny pages that appeared earlier this year, Garfield is wearing a sombrero and taking siestas. While cute and all, isn’t the sort of thing that we have been striving to stop? What was Jim Davis thinking? Maybe he needs a refresher course in not making…
We gabachos get differing reports regarding the Reconquista. Some say it’s a genuine movement, well under way. Others claim it’ll never happen, but that it’s useful as a slogan that both antagonizes white America and energizes young Mexicans. Let’s say for now that it’s a genuine movement destined for success…
Why do Mexicans make the sign of mucho dinero with a gap between their thumb and index fingers, as if holding an imaginary wad of bills between both fingers? El Zorro Chupagringos Because if a pendejo like you can get the gesture, imagine us normal folks? Why do Mexicans who…
I am a 22-year-old Mexican-American woman, still living with my parents but going to college, working full time, and taking care of myself financially. I grew up in a very traditional Mexican household, youngest of four kids, and we were all born in the United States. I’m unmarried but have a…
A gabacho in the local daily suggested that some of our prisons be outsourced to Mexico to save us some money. What are your thoughts? Would wabs make for good guards looking after homies and white-trash inmates? Have a chew on that taco. Mike the Mick from Missouri My thoughts?…
My family hasn’t been long in this country, came here because of lousy treatment by other Europeans, and didn’t live close enough to the southern U.S. border to have exposure to Mexico or Mexicans. So, anyone looking down on Mexicans can be mysterious to many of us that have migrated…
We begin, as we do each week, with cojones, although the huevos in question deal with my column a couple of semanas ago on why gabachos prefer the former term for testicles as opposed to the latter. I gave a rough etymology of the two (cojones comes from the Spanish…
Why does El Tri act like pendejos every time the U.S. men’s national soccer team kicks their ass? They won’t even shake hands or exchange jerseys after the game and they always act like the U.S. got lucky with the win, even though the Americans have destroyed Mexico on the…
Why do Mexicans at construction sites always draw a dick and vagina on the interiors of port-a-potties? They sure are not as poetic as they are artistic. Then you got the white boy reply, “Here I sit flexing a . . .” You should know the rest. Original Schreck in…
The mainstream media is making big noise of Sonia Sotomayor’s likely being the first Latina Supreme Court justice, and that all Latinos should be proud. But Puerto Rican ain’t Mexican! The Supreme Court won’t have a shade of brown until a Mexican is among Roberts and Scalia. What does the…
How can I get Mexicans to arrive to a meeting on time? Punctual Pete Tell them you’re offering green cards on a first-come, first-served basis. And then diles a gabachos to eliminate the concept of arriving “fashionably late” the way they did the Polish joke. I was reading through the…
Why is it that ever since the U.S./California let you people immigrate, tunnel, weasel, or whatever into this country that nothing good has happened and/or come from it? California’s welfare program is burdened with low-life Hispanics. The prison system is 70 percent Hispanic, 45 percent gang-based. Real estate values have…
Looking back recently on my distant youth in northwest Ohio, I came to the realization that the sweetest, most beautiful girl this gabacho ever went out with (indeed, in my entire senior class) was the pure-blooded daughter of Mexican immigrants. Am I under the sway of 1) simple nostalgia; 2)…
You once asked why Mexican bands don’t hit it big in the good old US of A. I think the simple answer is that there are no Mexican Mouseketeers. You don’t get to be Justin Timberlake by picking a guitarrón. Slater from Saved by the Bell doesn’t count. The real…
I write to you with a doubt similar to the one that Incensed in Chicago felt a couple of weeks ago, when her friend couldn’t believe that Mexicans worked in professional, white-collar jobs. I live in Tijuana, and of the gabachos who put roots here, you can’t find a single…
I was riding the light rail when two female Mexicans sat down and start talking rapid-fire Spanish non-stop for 45 minutes! It seemed as if neither one stopped to take a breath of air. They were loud and could be heard the length of the train. Question: Is this why…
My question is simple: Can you please confirm the fact that there are doctors, lawyers, and other professionals living in Mexico? I’m a Mexican-American woman living in Chicago who had a heated discussion about that topic. My friend who is a teacher at a local school was of the opinion…
My wife and I have an argument going on about pirates. And since you are the source for all things Mexican. I’d thought I’d ask: While I know there were Spanish and Portuguese pirates back in the early 1600s and 1700s, were there ever any Mexican pirates? Not pirates from…
My wife is from Michoacán state. We’ve bought a home in the small town of her birth. I love everything about the quiet little place. Even her mother is kind to me, as if I were her son. The food is incredibly good. The puerco is killed that morning and…
Is it true that most Mexicans are carriers of the swine flu because to the fact they eat a lot of chicharrones, or is it the fact that your women are so pig-like? I knew that Mexicans have muy shitty diets, but now we have to worry about them infecting…
As you drinko por Cinco this May 5, please take this column with you. It lists songs that mariachis will gladly play instead of having to glumly strum through the umpteenth “La Bamba” and “Guantanamera.” The following eclectic choices (and reasoning) came from hundreds submitted by wabs and savvy gabachos;…
First of all, please don’t think that I’m a self-loathing Mexican; I was born in the U.S. to northern Mexican parents. As far as I know, my ancestry is just Indian, Spanish, and a little French. For some strange reason, I have developed an intense fascination, and you might say,…
