SPECIAL PHILADELPHIA EDITION I read your column every week and notice your ongoing theme of pushing for “immigration reform.” I realize your concern for your fellow compadres, but what of those of us who see that our country is becoming simply too overcrowded, and too Hispanicized? In Plano, Texas, my…
Why do Mexicans swim in the ocean with their clothes on? I mean, denim?! Vicente Fox’s Mustache I know this might be a seasonal question, but why do Mexicans like swimming in their clothes? Is it a Catholic thing? I remember as a child growing up in the San Fernando…
First, it was the Native Americans, then it was the blacks, then the Japanese. For a while, Muslims. Now, I fear that American prejudice will soon overwhelm Mexicans. It’s one thing to get called a dirty Jap or border hopper, but tell me: Is it possible that America will cause…
I’m a Mexican American, but I always lie and tell people my ancestors were from Spain and immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. My whole family says this. We feel embarrassed if we tell people that our heritage is Mexican because Mexicans in the USA are so dirty,…
Why did the Mexican comedian Cantinflas never catch on in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood. Instead, that movement ended up flat as a tortilla. El Curioso Do people even know who Cantinflas was any…
My recent column regarding the dissimilarities between Scots and Mexicans provoked a surprising amount of angry responses — by real Scotsmen furious that letter writer Great Scot could be so pendejo. Here’s the best reader carta: Having just read Great Scot’s question and your response, I can’t help but think…
Whenever I see COPS, why is it that every time a cop tries to pull over a Mexican for a bad tail light or some other minor infraction, it turns into a high-speed chase, until all the tires are shot out and the wheels fall off, and then the Mexicans…
Consider the similarities between my people, the Celtic Scots, and yours, the Hispanic Mexicans. Both our people trace roots back to Spain. We sailed north to the British Isles and mixed with the aboriginals to become the Scots; you sailed west to mix with the aboriginal Americans. The Roman Empire…
Lately, I’ve been hearing how punks and metalheads in Mexico are trying to beat up emos because it’s been said emos makes Mexican culture look bad. As a metalhead, I support this because I don’t see the point in being emo because they are very sensitive and guys dress like…
I work at a Seattle-based company, and our customer-service department uses a phone-tree system that asks all callers to press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, and a few other numbers for commonly spoken languages in our area. I handle customer complaints as part of my job, and I get…
SPECIAL DÍA DE LOS IMPUESTOS EDICIÓN Sitting on my desk is a levy from the Internal Revenue Service for over $12,000 in unpaid taxes. Turns out some dude used my Social Security number for two years in Albuquerque to get paid, and didn’t bother to pay taxes. It’s taken me…
Belated April Fool’s Day, amigos! So many of you fell for my hoax of a farewell column last week (don’t any of you know that the feast day of St. Melito falls on April 1?) that I’m compelled to actually call it quits just to bask in your love and…
I’m a gay man in his mid-30s who has always loved Mexican men. This question is not only from my experience, but also that of friends: Why is it that Mexican men are so flaky? They seem the top offending ethnicity in this. And, by flaky, I mean not returning…
Since moving to Aztlán from Boston, I’ve spent so much time with my next-door neighbor from Mexico City that I’ve taken to using the word manito as a term of endearment with my buddies, regardless of who and where they are. It’s been my observation that most Anglos think mano…
Mexicans are angry that the United States might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these Mexicans. Let’s say I break into your house. Let’s say that when you discover me…
Why do Mexicans have padrinos for everything? I never understood why, can you help me out? The Godfather Fan Many gabachos have long wondered about the galaxy of godparents that surrounds Mexicans from birth to death, but it’s no misterio. Ostensibly, godparents (padrino is a godfather, madrina is a godmother,…
Why won’t Mexicans vote for a black man? Hillary Hater Dozens of ustedes have sent the above question since the Iowa caucuses, forwarded mainstream media reports on this supposed phenomenon, and cringed with me when pundits took as gospel Hillary Clinton pollster Sergio Bendixen’s assertion to the New Yorker that…
Why do you suppose Mexico has such a hard time getting its act together? It has vast natural resources, good climate, natural ports, super-generous and good-looking neighbors, and plenty of laborers who seem to be willing to do all sorts of crappy jobs. But instead of having a thriving economy…
My parents were Greeks who legally immigrated to the United States in 1920. When it became harder for Greeks to immigrate, they began to jump ship in New York. My father referred to them as “bananas — fresh off the boat,” but it was mostly an affectionate name. The Greek…
After working with Mexicans for years, I have noticed that Mexican men have a double standard when it comes to homosexuality. Why is it that the “giver” is not regarded as being just as equally gay as the “receiver”? El Vaquero I think all heterosexual societies condemn the catcher more…
Mucho feedback from ustedes regarding recent questions about archetypal Mexican dogs and the propensity of wabs to DUI. Let’s empezar with the doggies: You’re right about Chihuahuas. Crazy, tough dogs. I’m a dog rescuer, and we once found a Chihuahua in a box by the side of the road with…
At a weekly gig by a Doors tribute band, I’ve noticed the majority of the crowd is Mexican. I swear, sometimes it seems the crowd missed the exit to the Lupillo Rivera show or a Maná concert. Never realized Jim Morrison was the equal of Morrissey and Charles Bronson among…
