In a column some time ago, you mentioned the Aztec prophecy claiming that “their descendants would reclaim ancestral lands in the southwest U.S., and guess what.” I’d appreciate it if you shed a little light on this statement. This is the mythical state of Aztlán you’re referring to, right? What…

In Canada, we have a huge problem with illegals coming up from the south, mainly to escape Bush or for our free healthcare. The solution is inspired by the same damned Yankees that we need to keep out: build a big wall. Problem is, we could never get enough people…

I know you’ve been asked variations of this before, but I’m going to ask you again anyway. I’m a gay white guy and I’ve had three relationships with Mexican men in the past seven years. Each lasted from three to six months. This past relationship actually lasted a year and…

One of our Arizona politicians once said on the local PBS affiliate’s show Horizonte that the “crime” of being undocumented in this country is equivalent legally to that of a parking ticket. Do you know where I can verify this statement? So often in the argument over immigration the bottom…

A group of very young soldiers in the Mexican Army was being chased through a castle by U.S. Marines. At the end of the chase, the Mexicans realized they were trapped on a balcony. Instead of falling on their bayonets, they wrapped themselves in Mexican flags and leapt to their…

I don’t like to rerun columns ’cause it makes me look like a lazy Mexican, but I realize that, as my column invades foreign terrain (Chattanooga! Columbia, South Carolina! Steamboat Springs, Colorado!), new readers might not understand some of my commandments. Following, then, are the two most-frequently asked questions about…

I’m half-Catalan, and the women on my mom’s side of my family have spent most of our lives being hated by Mexicans. I’ve never understood it. My mom and aunts warned me as soon as I hit junior high that I was going to have a target on me, because…

What is an anchor baby? I am a 45-year-old male born in the U.S.A. My mother was born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Serbia), and my father was also born in ex-Yugoslavia (now Croatia). My father arrived to this country via a green card about four years before I was born and…

I am a chica struggling with the choice to come out to my parents about my sexual orientation. My family is Catholic and my parents are old school. While we are very close, I am afraid of how badly this can go. My parents have been living in the U.S…

I liked your explanation about pachucos. One correction, however: They’re called pachucos because the vatos in East Los originated from a neighborhood in El Paso which was primarily populated by folks who had emigrated from Pachuca, Hidalgo. Those vatos were the first ones to begin la moda that ultimately became…

I’m an illegal alien. Got here on a tourist visa and stayed for a job. My gabacho employer knows about it and doesn’t give a crap. I don’t apologize about it, as ever since I can remember, the U.S. has meddled around other countries’ business as if it owns the…

Why do Mexicans paint stripes on their donkeys in Tijuana? Avenida Revolución Reveller Same reason we put worms in tequila bottles, celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and star in Beverly Hills Chihuahua: to cheat gabachos out of cash. To paraphrase the classic dictum: a gabacho and his money in front of…

I am the proud uncle of five Mexican-redneck kids who recently moved to Wausau with their mamá wisconsiana after living in la Capirucha all their lives. I’ve talked to them on the phone several times a week since they left for la tierra de los sueños materializados, and I’ve noticed…

As a Mexican, I’m always ashamed of the fact that a lot of Mexican women just come to the U.S. to have babies and to utilize this country’s welfare. I know a lot of them that just keep having children and they do not pay a dollar for the hospital…

Dear Mexican: Where I recently started working at, Latinos make up about 95 percent of the work force. We are, however, prohibited from speaking Spanish. We are constantly being threatened about it. My manager constantly makes racial remarks about all cultures and always says that we live in America, and…

What’s with calling yourselves “La Raza”? Being Mexicans, Chicanos or whatever isn’t enough — now you’re the race? Sounds pretty racist to me. The Race is On Few things annoy the Mexican more than the Know-Nothing Nation’s deliberate ignorance with this most nebulous of Mexican idioms. Despite the patient explanations…

Gracias, merci, obrigado for the many submissions in our contest asking readers to argue in 25 words why corn tortillas are superior to flour, or vice versa. Below are the winners for some of the cities that carry the Mexican; see the full list at ocweekly.com. Don’t see your city,…

Why are there Mexicans in the Border Patrol? What a hypocritical thing to do to our people. Carne Asada Carlos Not only are Mexicans in the Border Patrol, but la migra’s own figures show that Latinos make up about 52 percent of its force, comfortably outnumbering gabachos (that pop you…

What’s the fascination Mexicans have with Elvis? Good Roceando Tonight Your question is spot-on, but it’s taken a while for Elvis to achieve icon status amongst Mexicans. As recounted in Eric Zolov’s 1999 book, Refried Elvis: The Rise of the Mexican Counterculture, the King largely sparked the roots of rock…

Whenever I have an immigration debate with my Chicano hermanos who support open borders and get angry at any type of immigration control, they don’t seem to understand the basic laws of economics, such as the fact that migrant workers who pick fruit, work in construction, and do other blue-collar…

What do you think would happen if U.S. citizens could buy land and set up businesses in Mexico as easily as Mexicans do in the U.S.? Might that be a boost to the Mexican economy? I know there are provisions in the Mexican Constitution that prevent this, but what is…