Longbranch Saloon

This windowless self-proclaimed dive bar on a lonely stretch of Buckeye serves one of the most deserving populations in the county: the shift workers who drive the fulfillment centers and factories of west Phoenix and Tolleson. Pull up a stool at the bar, order a basket of waffle fries and chicken tenders, and drop $23 for a bucket of Dos Equis, ‘cause chances are the thirsty, tired dudes beside you will be fresh off a shift at the Gatorade plant or the Fry’s warehouse just across the train tracks. As early as 10 a.m. (or possibly 6 a.m., if the bar has the staff) the no-frills setup will be waiting — five basic beers on tap, hot wings $14 a dozen, Jell-O shots, house wine, two pool tables that take quarters, a vending machine that offers snacks alongside cigarettes, TVs turned to sports and network shows, a surprisingly bangin’ sound system rocking Mexican rap and ‘90s country and nu metal. Bottled water is complimentary, a genuine kindness during Phoenix summers. A word to the wise: You under-30s can’t get in on Friday and Saturday nights. This policy is due, apparently, to certain over-exuberant patrons who thought they were indestructible? They’re not, and you’re not. So, please, when you’re in the mood for a Longbranch night, in the words of Killer Mike, you better come correct.