But glory won't be as easy as finishing a communications degree. Because, as Sports Illustrated mentioned, ASU was recently "ranked No. 56 in the NET and listed among the 'Next four out' in ESPN's latest NCAA tournament Bracketology projection." If they want to avoid certain defeat, however, they need "at least four more Quad 1 wins," and their first opportunity comes with this Saturday's game against historical rivals University of Arizona.
As such, if we're really leaning into "temporary sports guy" but also respecting my musical roots, it's time for the that thing touches the hearts of all people: a playlist. However, this ain't no ordinary "Queen singles and that one Thin Lizzy song" sports playlist; no, it's a little weird and dumb, 'cause that's the only way I can truly care about men's college basketball.
If this doesn't help you, Sun Devils, then you'll have to settle for being the 252nd best school in the U.S.
Pitbull, ‘Timber’
Don't ask me how, but this 2013 club anthem always makes me think of ASU. It's like sonic associated memory — I hear it and instantly think of drunken Friday nights on Mill Ave., or visiting friends on campus and seeing the most oddly diverse student body ever. Admittedly, it's not an association held by everyone, but in time this could be a shortcut to distilling what makes ASU so vibrant and just a little dumb. Because life is all about dancing, weird gimmicks and owning your tendency for the wild and dramatic. The faster you learn that, kids, the happier and more productive you'll become (hopefully).‘Scissor Sisters, ‘Skin This Cat’
In the name of utmost transparency, I only picked this one because Arizona are the Wildcats, after all, and this one's called "Skin This Cat." The song itself is perhaps a little too steamy and/or lusty for college basketball, but maybe then that's the point. A little over-the-top electro-pop can be a good thing — a source of laughter and/or silliness if the stakes are high. (And, boy howdy, are they ever high for ASU.) If you can't laugh and get down at the most tense moments of your life or career, then you may as well resign yourself to failure. Plus, the more Scissor Sisters in the world, the better.Beastie Boys, ‘Fight for Your Right’
OK, this is perhaps the most direct and potent entry on this list as it's heard a ton during various games. (And by "a ton," I mean several times in my very limited viewing of most sporting events.) It's the anthem for fighting back from the floor, and owning your rebel streak with real vigor. Is there, contextually speaking, something extra delicious about choosing the ultimate frat rock anthem for an ASU basketball game? Sure, but that doesn't change the fact that this song is solid gold and the kind of selections more teams need to embrace. Beause even if you lose, at least the music ain't half bad.Metallica, ‘Human’
This is you just now: "Hey, Chris, Metallica is cool. Guess you picked more dope songs than you'd thought." To which I'd respond by telling you this verified deep cut isn't like "Master of Puppets" or "Enter Sandman." No, it's a sweeping orchestral number, recorded with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. Plain and simple, more sports songs should be like this, and I'd cheer ASU on like a proper fella if they had the chutzpah to spin this masterpiece at games. At worst, no one likes it. At best, however, you turn basketball into this sophisticated experience. Just don't stop selling nachos, ya dig?Metric, ‘Gold Guns Girls’
Whether ASU fans are stinging or not from my inclusion of "Timber," I do feel a little bad about that pick. Sure, it's 100 percent an accurate sentiment, but there are good parts of my personal association with ASU. This Metric standout, for instance, has a latent feel that encapsulates the school: wild, free, a little edgy and mostly just the kind of unassuming cool we'd all like to exude. None of that changes the dumb or weird stuff about ASU, but it's worth noting that the school does represent something vital about Phoenix. I'd never admit it elsewhere, but the school's where it's at for a reason.Grateful Dead, ‘Friend of the Devil’
Much like in the vein of the "Skin This Cat" choice from earlier, you've just got to have one that channels the Sun Devils in name. Did you know that there's, like, a huge amount of songs named after or about the devil — you'd think the industry had some kind of debt to Lucifer or something. But "Friend of the Devil" is the clear choice because 1) it's perfect as either a mid-game group commiseration or communal bonding and 2) it's the one Grateful Dead song that almost everyone can enjoy. That's a rare and valued twofer, and not every song has this kind of charm and magic for a basketball game.Three 6 Mafia, ‘Poppin' My Collar’
So far, even if things are a little abstract or out there with some selections, most of these songs have some larger, mostly contextual purpose on this playlist. But this Three 6 Mafia gem doesn't really have any of that. Yes, it's a pretty sturdy sports song; it even makes a timeout feel rather exciting. But its inclusion here isn't about psyching anyone out or getting extra jazzed. No, it's just a great song that reminds all of us why we gather to play or watch sports together, and why live events are a special kind of fun. See, a wholesome response if there ever was one.Crazy Frog, ‘Axel F’
Did you think I'd somehow lost my edge? 'Cause "Poppin' My Collar" should only be included if the very next song is, and I've confirmed this, the absolute most annoying song ever recorded. And it should be played not just once, but two or three times in a row. It's bound to throw even the most well-oiled team right off their game, and the Sun Devils will know ahead of time and its effects would easily be mitigated. This whole idea undercuts the good-natured tinge of college sports, but if you're not out to win, then why are you playing in the first place? Take that, Wildcats!Drake, ‘Started from the Bottom’
The ASU-Arizona rivalry is one of the oldest in sports. (That point makes my whole "Crazy Frog music torture" idea a little less unlikely, yeah?) And while every game is its own new opportunity, Arizona does have just 87 losses (and 161 wins) as of Feb. 2024. So, it's important that ASU perhaps leans into if not owns that fact outright, and reminds their opponents that they're clearly fighting from underneath. With any luck, that mentality will help, but if it doesn't, then your enemy already knows you were the underdog. And that, folks, is how you fully cover your bases.Bob Marley and the Wailers, ‘Everything's Gonna Be Alright’
A lot has been said already in this piece. Heck, I pretty much sanctioned psychological torture to win a college basketball game. However, if we're going to close out this bad boy on a sentiment, it should be one that's mostly decent. That's just how I'd describe this Bob Marley classic: no matter what happens in life, everything mostly works out. Sometimes you're the champs, and sometimes you can't even make it to the big dance. There is a certain glory in defeat and also accepting the role of the dice. On the eternal plus side, at least you're not playing golf or, ugh, Muggle Quidditch.ASU will host Arizona on Saturday Feb. 1 beginning at 11 a.m. Watch the game via CBS.
