As you may have read in Jackelope Ranch, New Times' arts and culture blog, today, November 18, has been declared National Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day.
It's likely a gimmick by dudes with nasty stache's to get a little play -- if not but once a year.
Arizona's political scene is full of mustached men who are probably in need of a little action, but we've narrowed it down to three who could probably use it the most.
See our picks after the jump.
Former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas:
Sure, the stache is physically gone these days, but the image of that scraggly scruff is seared into our memory like a bloody car wreck.
Thomas recently lost his bid to become attorney general -- dude didn't even make it out of the GOP primary. He's also being investigated by the feds. To put it politely, Andy's not exactly havin' a great year, which is good news for him because it makes him a prime candidate for a mustache-inspired, sympathy fuck.
Ousted state Representative Doug Quelland:
Quelland was booted from office earlier this year after it was discovered that he'd padded his publicly financed 2008 campaign with private money. Unlike Thomas, his stache looks cool and doesn't remind us of a child molester. That makes him a serious contender to dish out a mustache ride or two.
Former Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano:
Alright, alright -- we know Janet doesn't have a
mustache...but she should.