4

It's National Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day; We Got Three AZ Politicos Probably Ready for a Ride

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

As you may have read in Jackelope Ranch, New Times' arts and culture blog, today, November 18, has been declared National Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day.

It's likely a gimmick by dudes with nasty stache's to get a little play -- if not but once a year.

Arizona's political scene is full of mustached men who are probably in need of a little action, but we've narrowed it down to three who could probably use it the most.

See our picks after the jump.

Former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas:

Obviously.

Sure, the stache is physically gone these days, but the image of that scraggly scruff is seared into our memory like a bloody car wreck.

Thomas recently lost his bid to become attorney general -- dude didn't even make it out of the GOP primary. He's also being investigated by the feds. To put it politely, Andy's not exactly havin' a great year, which is good news for him because it makes him a prime candidate for a mustache-inspired, sympathy fuck.

Ousted state Representative Doug Quelland:

Quelland was booted from office earlier this year after it was discovered that he'd padded his publicly financed 2008 campaign with private money. Unlike Thomas, his stache looks cool and doesn't remind us of a child molester. That makes him a serious contender to dish out a mustache ride or two. 

Former Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano:

Alright, alright -- we know Janet doesn't have a

mustache...but she should.



Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.