Idiots

Officer: 'Felt Cute, Might Pepper Spray Your Baby Daddy'

Officer: 'Felt Cute, Might Pepper Spray Your Baby Daddy'

How Large Is Sebastian Gorka’s Head? We Asked

How Large Is Sebastian Gorka’s Head? We Asked

People Are Mad at Gilbert LuLaRoe Sellers for Mocking People With Disabilities

By Antonia Noori Farzan
Jan 29, 2018

The controversy has led National Down Syndrome Society to sever ties with LuLaRoe.
This Week in Petty Drama: Pickleball, Christmas Tree Lovers, and Goofy Men

By Antonia Noori Farzan
Dec 10, 2017

We're here to help you catch up on this week's petty beefs and obscure controversies.
Militia Rideshare Offers Phoenix Crackpots Way to Join Ammon Bundy in Oregon

By Stephen Lemons
Jan 8, 2016

You've got your camo, AR-15 and night-vision goggles ready, and you're eager to join your fellow patriots up at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, where former Phoenix resident Ammon Bundy and his armed crew of bohunks have taken control of a federal compound, in a bid to force the feds into turning...
Phoenix Leads Nation in Morons Shining Lasers at Airplanes

By Shanna Hogan
Jan 1, 2016

More fools in Phoenix have pointed lasers at aircraft than in any other city in the United States so far this year, the Federal Aviation Administration statistics show. There have been 170 reported events here in 2015 — nearly double the 93 incidents from last year — making Phoenix first in...
Wealthy Tempe Lawyer Rips Off Clients, Loses License

By Ray Stern
Dec 14, 2015

A wealthy Tempe attorney has been sentenced to five years' probation, forced to give up hundreds of thousands of dollars, and stripped of the right to practice law — all because he stole money he didn't need.
Sarah Palin Uses Papago Park in Heart of Phoenix to Portray Middle of Nowhere

By Ray Stern
Feb 25, 2015

Sarah Palin's new video ad for the Sportsman Channel's Amazing America show shows the former vice presidential candidate hitchhiking in the middle of the desert. Except as every Phoenician would know, the right-wing celeb is actually in Central Phoenix, at Papago Park...
Alexander Michael Herrera of Arizona Tried to Open Jet Door on Descent to Portland, Oregon, FBI Says

By Ray Stern
May 27, 2013

Arizona resident Alexander Michael Herrera, 23, made "unusual statements" before trying to open a door in the emergency exit row of an Alaska Airlines jet preparing to land this morning in Portland, Oregon, the FBI says. Herrera was one of 137 passengers on Flight 132, originating from Anchorage. After the...
Michael Turley Pleads Not Guilty in Terrorist Hoax Video Case

By Matthew Hendley
Oct 18, 2012

Michael Turley -- also known as the magician "Gianni" -- pleaded not guilty today to charges related to his alleged role as the director of a movie that was produced to "test" the Phoenix Police Department's response to a terrorist situation.Turley was arrested last month after it was discovered that...
Michael Turley, Alleged Director of Terrorist Hoax Movie, Makes Actual Movies (and Magic)

By Matthew Hendley
Oct 1, 2012

Michael Turley, the alleged director of the terrorist hoax video starring his own nephew as a terrorist, is actually known as "Michael Giannantonio" in the world of professional film-making. If you're into hypnotism and magic, you may also know Turley as "Gianni."Turley was arrested last week after allegedly having his...
Michael Turley Allegedly Put His Own Nephew Up to the Task of Pretending to Be a Terrorist

By Matthew Hendley
Sep 26, 2012

The 16-year-old kid wearing a sheet on his body and a towel on his head, who ran around a Phoenix intersection with a fake rocket-propelled grenade launcher, was Michael Turley's own nephew, according to court documents obtained by New Times.Turley was arrested after police discovered he allegedly put his nephew...
Michael Turley Wanted to "Test" Phoenix Cops -- With a Kid Dressed as a Terrorist Running Around With a Fake Grenade Launcher

By Matthew Hendley
Sep 26, 2012

How long would it take the Phoenix Police Department to respond to a terrorist situation?Michael Turley really wanted an answer to that question, and he got it -- by getting a 16-year-old kid to wear a sheet on his body, put a towel on his head, and run around Phoenix...
Child Molester Sues for Obama's DNA, Plans to Compare It to Osama Bin Laden's

By Matthew Hendley
Sep 14, 2012

A convicted child molester filed a mostly incoherent lawsuit yesterday in U.S. District Court here, seemingly asking for DNA samples from President Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein.The convicted child molester is Arnold Begay, whose lawsuit is postmarked out of a low-security federal prison in North Carolina...
Police Say Mark Norris' Domestic-Violence Episode Ended With Him "Wildly" Swinging a Baby Around in a Parking Lot

By Matthew Hendley
Mar 28, 2012

For one Phoenix man, there's apparently only one thing left to do after allegedly going on a domestic-violence spree for a few hours -- "wildly" swing a baby around in front of a group of people in a parking lot.According to court documents obtained by New Times, the wife of...
Prince Fielder Bomb During Home-Run Derby Nearly Leads to Idiot Falling From Bleachers

By James King
Jul 12, 2011

Yesterday was the memorial service for Shannon Stone, a Texas father who died last week after falling from the stands at a Texas Rangers game while trying to catch a ball thrown into the crowd.Yesterday was also the Home-Run Derby portion of Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, and a Kingman...