Morning Buzz

22K Gold Toilet Paper -- For the Practical Shopper

With the holidays coming up we find ourselves wondering, "What do you get the ostentatious, absurdly wealthy friend and/or relative who has everything?"

Gold toilet paper, obviously.

See also: Fruit of the Loom is Giving Away Free Underwear on LinkedIn

Yes, thanks to the Toilet Paper Man, an Australian-based website offering everything from laundry detergent and tin foil to wet wipes and garbage bags, customers can now purchase a roll of 22 carat gold toilet paper.

Valued at $1,376,900, this golden role of ass tissue is an ideal purchase for anyone who collects Ferraris like Hot Wheels, owns pet jaguars like Chia Pets, and views giving to the poor as a waste of their time and money.

Order fast, people, because between Silicone Valley software moguls, Saudi princes, and the infantile luxury of baby North West we have a feeling this shits going to run out faster than the sketch burrito you ate for breakfast.

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Katie Johnson
Contact: Katie Johnson