Metro Phoenix’s Best Things to Do This Week: Phoestivus, Jane Goodall, and More

Need something to do to help while away the hours until Christmas? This week, you can attend a lecture and Q&A with famed primatologist Jane Goodall, spot shooting stars in the sky, or catch a screening of a Christmastime cult classic. And if you’ve got grievances to air or feats of strength to demonstrate, this year’s edition of Phoestivus is also happening.

More details about these events can be found below. Meanwhile, Phoenix New Times’ online calendar has the lowdown on even more things to do around the Valley from Monday, December 12, to Thursday, December 15.

Arizona Cardinals vs. New England Patriots

The Arizona Cardinals may have a handful of games left to play, but they’re all essentially moot at this point. Last year, they were one of the top-seeded teams going into the NFL postseason. This year, they’ve got absolutely no shot at making the playoffs after waging a dismal campaign filled with embarrassing play. After losing four out of their last five games, Arizona (4-8) is set to play for a prime-time audience when they take on the New England Patriots (6-6) on Monday, December 12, at State Farm Stadium, 1 East Cardinals Drive. The game will air on ESPN’s Monday Night Football, which is ordinarily a chance for a team to show off for a nationwide audience. Given the Red Birds’ wretched state this season, it's likely to be an affair to forget. Kickoff is at 6:15 p.m. Tickets start at $65 if you’d like to witness the slaughter in person. Benjamin Leatherman

An Evening with Jane Goodall

When Jane Goodall visits Arizona Financial Theatre, 400 West Washington Street, this week, she’ll be discussing more than just monkey business. The world-renowned primatologist, who’s famous for her groundbreaking work studying the social and familial behaviors of chimpanzees in Tanzania, will conduct a lecture and Q&A session at the venue on Monday, December 12. Goodall will likely cover such topics as ecology and the effect of climate change during her talk, which is being put on by the Arizona Speakers Series and starts at 7 p.m. It's sold out but tickets start at $33.35. (Besides, getting the share a room with a Dame of the British Empire isn’t an opportunity that comes along often.) Benjamin Leatherman

Gremlins

Forget about A Christmas Story, Die Hard, or anything involving Ebenezer Scrooge. The greatest Christmas movie ever made is Joe Dante's Gremlins. Released in 1984, this horror-comedy classic is nearly two hours of sheer merry mayhem. A monster movie with a Looney Tunes sensibility, Gremlins is the kind of movie that makes you want to shout “HELL YEAH” Steve Austin-style after watching an old lady get catapulted out a window. It also features Gizmo, the original Baby Yoda. Accept no substitutes. The 35mm version of Gremlins will be presented by the folks at the Majestic Neighborhood Cinema Grill, 1140 East Baseline Road in Tempe, at 7 p.m. on Monday, December 12. It’s part of their Majestic Movie Party series and will include interactive props for members of the audience. Tickets are $15. Ashley Naftule

The Never Rad Miscellany

An abandoned life-simulation game. A crew stranded on a planet with no communication. A millionaire playboy space lord and his robot. A private investigator who is searching for the husband of a beautiful woman. The Never Rad Miscellany is as random as it gets when it comes to sci-fi. Veteran podcaster Conrad Miszuk created the anthology podcast in 2018 with three other sci-fi writers. “[It’s] a collection of serialized and dramatized audio science fiction. We have four different main series and each one is performed live if we have the chance to use a venue,” Miszuk told Phoenix New Times in 2019. Each monthly episode consists of four continuous stories — which are titled Digiternia, The Dark Sovereign, Phoenix Lights, and A Gentleman About Space — and is recorded at Changing Hands Bookstore, 300 West Camelback Road, in front of an audience. The latest session is from 6 to 8 p.m. on Monday, December 12. It’s free to attend. Sara Edwards

Geminid Meteor Shower

Heads up skywatchers: The annual Perseid meteor shower will light up the nighttime skies over Arizona — and the entire northern hemisphere for that matter — this week. Its one of the biggest showers of the year (with upwards of 60 shooting stars appearing each hour) and will peak on the evening of Tuesday, December 13, into the early hours of Wednesday, December 14. In other words, you’ll have to stay up late or get up early to be able to see a multitude of meteors. Your best bet is to look towards the eastern sky between midnight and dawn in an area of the Valley that’s as dark as possible (read: the outskirts of town). Be sure to dress warmly since it's going extra chilly. Benjamin Leatherman

Phoestivus 2022

We've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it. If you’re curious, meet us at 720 North Fifth Street on Wednesday, December 14, and Thursday, December 15, for Phoestivus. As its name portends, the locally focused outdoor bazaar takes its cues from the infamous Seinfeldian holiday and will include such highlights as the “Pheats of Strength” (which, in this case is a rock-climbing wall), the “Phoestivus Pole,” and a version of the “Airing of Grievances.” This year’s event will also feature more than 200 local merchants and vendors, a beer garden, food trucks, and an appearance by “Hip Santa” and “Phreddie The Yeti.” Hours are from 5 to 10 p.m. each evening. Admission is free. Full details are available on the Phoestivus website. Benjamin Leatherman