And then you send a bunch of stuff. LOL.
And because you are in the know, your latest online discovery is white stuff. More to the point, "Stuff White People Like."
Your friends write back claiming you are "hilar," and, of course, they want to know how you found such a witty digital salon. And they are all, OMG, I totally have to send this to blah-blah. You know how it goes.
Let me just admit, the list actually is pretty hilar. (Check it out for yourself at stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com.) White folks can log on and post entries about those persons, places and things only the fair-skinned enjoy.
But here's the deal. I am not white, but according to the list, I think I could be!! Should I be concerned or tickled? I mean, I can imagine that's a strange question coming from the dude who writes the omniscient Latino column. But if the SWPL blog is supposed to be some type of odd cultural checklist, I'm thinking I could be the poster child.
Case in point — coffee is number one, and it goes uphill from there, in my opinion: farmers markets, public radio, and graduate school, just to name a few entries. It's good to be white! It seems being a nerd on the downlow is highly respected across the tracks from Brown Town. Homie can play that.
That said, I am not ready to turn in my brown card yet. So now I'm wondering if perhaps we just need our own version. I am pretty confident we can sustain our own online pith.
Cultural confidence in check, I surfed online to see whether we had a list called "Stuff Brown People Love." We kind of do, kind of don't. %-)
Some dude named Curry Bear kind of already posted a brown stuff list (www.currybear.com/wordpress). The only thing, though, is that from what I glean from his Web site, he claims brown people are Asian. I'm like, huh? %-P
And then he takes up like 19 pages explaining why he is brown. It makes no sense. So I'm technically not counting his list as anything that is officially sanctioned by Brown Town.
That gives us the freedom to muse. Let's totally make our own list, you guys! This could be fun. I mean, I kind of feel like somebody (not me) should start the blog, because that would be hilar.
I am more than happy to help brainstorm ideas, though.
Hmm, what do we like? What do brown like? Brown likes . . . brown stuff. We like stuff. But what?
. . . (crickets) . . .
This is hard! I am jealous of the white community. Their list holds close to a hundred entries. There's no way to get that many Mexicans to agree on that much at once. If we could, we would elect more than one brown city council member every 12 years or so. Bitchy, but true.
If you stop and think about it, y'all know brown people have farmers markets all the time. They are just more exclusive and more petite. I like to think of them as boutique, with an old-school twist.
We pull a truck up to the corner of 75th Avenue and Thomas. Put down a foldy chair and handmade sign and sell 35 grapefruits for like 75 cents. See! We don't play. We just make it happen. It's not that we dislike traditional farmers markets, it's just that we don't necessarily need cute little Mason-jarred goods sold under white tents while local musicians play. Those are nice touches, but we can do without if we must. ;-)
As for coffee, public radio, and graduate school . . . hmm . . . I admit I am stuck. I know we like that stuff, too. It's just that I don't know if we have to lay claim to them in a brown way. I suppose we could, but then I feel Gannett might turn our blog into its own weekly edition for just our community.
On the upside, they would let us sprinkle our diatribe with Spanglish. Because, don't forget — that would be item number seven, vato loco! We love that, recuerdes?
Whatev. Let's just like white stuff. That way we don't have to make our own list. LOL. OMG. Hilar.