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White-water rafting this isn't. Instead, it's a relatively smooth ride (But watch out for those rapids!) to the relaxing tune of '80s hair metal.

Open May through September, the Salt River Recreation Center charges 10 bucks for an inner tube, bus ride to and from the Salt River and, as an added bonus, a rich sociological look at how John Q. Six-pack spends his leisure hours.

Just don't forget to buy an extra tube for your Styrofoam cooler of Natural Lite -- cans only, no bottles.

Readers' Choice for Best Golf Course: Troon North

"If these kids were doing it, I figured there were a lot more doing it as well," says Hamilton.

Besides the wide array of decks ($25 for blanks), bearings, wheels, trucks, helmets and pads, Sidewalk Surfer also sells inline skates (rentals available), mopeds, snowboards, boogie boards and skim boards. For those who prefer to walk, SS has every Frisbee golf disk needed for the hard-core master.

And while equipment is fine, the proper image is equally important. SS has a wide selection of hip sunglasses, flip-flops, swimsuits, tee shirts, pants and hats. For those downtimes, check out the skating videos under the counter, along with stickers galore for marking your turf.

The park is free and no pads are required. There's never any BMXers to worry about, and the annoying little blader kids are easy to avoid because this is a 32,000-square-foot facility. The park, near Alma School and Ocotillo, is open from 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. daily.

Best Golf Course
Papago Golf Course
5595 East Moreland
602-275-8428

Indeed, customers can get map-happy on numerous levels: local (county road guides), state (topographic maps for all 50) and mile-high (World Aeronautical Charts). Considering the company's Phoenix Mapping Service publishes street atlases for Phoenix and Tucson and produces custom maps for government and businesses, surely this place can help you find your measly way to San Jose.

Drivers and passengers can catch glimpses of the emerging habitat from the sweeping ramps at the interchange of highways 101 and 202. The swath of greenery fuels the imagination of "what if" we restored the Salt River to even a fraction of its glorious past.

Among the birds assembling in the area are Great Egrets, which 100 years ago were close to extinction. Now the emblem of the National Audubon Society, the return of the graceful bird is a positive sign that, given a little money, water and time left alone, nature will provide all that is needed for wildlife to return to the Salt River Valley.

Add to that owners Bud and Yvonne Morrison's 27 years in the bike business, and their longtime commitment to providing the widest selection of killer bikes and accessories, and you have what is easily the Valley's top bike store.

Beyond mere stuff, Tempe Bicycle also provides that perfect bike-shop atmosphere. It's dark, it smells of grease and just about every employee has some very bizarre, very cool tic in their personality. This is an organic cool, smart, eccentric, grassroots, which means this is a place to hang out if you love biking.

Readers' Choice: Tempe Bicycle

Located in the Sonoran Desert at an elevation of 2,000 feet, the park is still hot in the day, but it cools off at night to blanket weather. A variety of hiking trails, campsites and picnic facilities are available, depending on how close you want to get to nature. We recommend the Siphon Draw Trail if you're into scenic hiking, or the less strenuous Discovery Trail, which features a wildlife pond.

The area is also pocketed with ancient cliff dwellings and caves. In case you want to go looking for the Dutchman's gold, most stories place the gold in the vicinity of Weaver's Needle. Happy prospecting.

The owners are a rare breed of businessmen. They proudly donate 25 percent of the profits to aid the families of fallen men and women in the U.S. armed services.

If this place is good enough for the search and rescue team of the fire department, some SWAT teams and the anti-terrorist unit of the military, it's great for your kid.

Sitting on just under three acres, with several divided pools, a "beach" surrounded by tiki torches, a whirlpool spa, and a three-story water slide, the "water playground" is like a water park with a full bar. Sections of the pool are adults only, so you can drop off the kids in the water-slide area and sneak off to one of the many swim-up or walk-up bars. The setting is beautiful, and guests can enjoy the full-service spa. Lie back on one of the upholstered poolside couches, swim around the waterfalls, or snooze on the Arizona fake beach -- it's the perfect mini vacation without leaving the city.

The e-mails come daily from Cypress Golf Solutions, the creators of www.golf602.com, a Web site that serves as a clearinghouse for hundreds of daily tee-time discounts in the Valley.

You just go to the Web site and answer several questions about where you want to play, what times you like to play and how much you're willing to pay. Then, every day, you are sent an e-mail listing the tee times and discounted prices that fit your criteria.

Once you're signed up, you get an e-mail listing of an average of 20 to 30 open tee times at numerous Valley golf courses at savings typically ranging from 50 to 70 percent.

Sundance and Bear Creek for $10. The Arizona Biltmore for $25. Phantom Horse for $15. The discounts make Phoenix-area golf once again affordable for Phoenix-area residents.

Soak away your hectic workweek in one of the many pools, some of which have retractable shade or misting systems. You can choose either private soaking areas, or semiprivate, and if you decide you don't want to come back to the grind right away, there is an on-site sleeping cabin called Motel California that has a full bath and linens and comes with various soaking packages. It's a steal at $50 to $65. Therapeutic massage and Tibetan Bowl Resonant Relaxation are available by appointment.

Readers' Choice for Best City Hiking Trail: Squaw Peak

And best of all, it's free.

Rock on!

The 17-year-old resort opened the $12.3 million water park just two years ago as one intentionally designed for an older demographic, and the rolling, six-acre enclave is full of the kinds of water features parents "ooh" over while the kids just yawn. Not to worry. There's something for everyone -- particularly you.

Yeah, the steep slides barreling down from the 83-foot tower at the back of the park rival Waterworld's Kilimanjaro for sheer free-fall thrills, and the 10,000-square-foot wave pool can keep the kids bobbing happily all afternoon. But it's the meandering lazy river feature, dubbed the Zuni, that really draws the crowds -- of chillin' grown folks content to float endlessly around the manmade red rock canyon, entertained by little more than misters, arcing water squirts and the occasional current-speeding jet stream.

The kids might eventually tire of the falls at Slide Canyon after a few climbs up the three-story staircase, but mom won't have to hear "I'm bored" until they find her -- which may take until dusk.

Anyway, it made us feel really cheery, and in lieu of ice rinks or tree lightings at Rockefeller Center, seeing that cactus marked, for us, the beginning of the holidays.

The cactus died years ago, but one Valley Christmas tradition has flourished -- and it's another one that involves desert foliage, and a lot of it. Las Noches de las Luminarias offers a walk in a winter wonderland, Phoenix-style. Thousands of hand-lighted luminarias line the paths of the garden, making the desert plants glow. You'll glow, too, after a glass of wine or cider and the sounds of carolers and other musicians performing along the paths. Arcadia Farms caters dinner, and the gift shop always offers up super holiday gift ideas.

We miss "the cactus with the two crossed fingers," but we're keeping our fingers crossed that Las Noches de las Luminarias is a Valley tradition for years to come.

Just be sure to watch out for mosquitoes. And don't fall in the water. We're still not sure what's in there . . .

October through May is the best time to explore the area's 35 trails. The Peralta Trail is arguably the best marked, most traveled path with the most easy scenic rewards, so if you're new to the 'hood, this might be your best bet.

After tackling Peralta, you can move on to the more isolated trails. Just be extremely careful. Tell someone where you are going and bring plenty of supplies, especially water. Hikers can be lulled into thinking of the Superstitions as an easy day hike just outside town. But this is a different world. You need to be prepared.

Okay, lecture over. Enjoy!

Crafted by Nicklaus Design's Bill O'Leary, Bear Creek is built for quality speed on a local's paycheck. Subtle risk/reward scenarios meet you on each of the links-style holes, with water, sand and, most often, snarly desert scrub, waiting to eat an errant or ill-conceived shot.

In the off-season, you can have this private-club-caliber golf challenge for around $20. And you can often bag 18 holes in three to four hours.

Bear Creek also includes an 18-hole short course, which is ideal for a quick golf outing with the kids.

And don't worry, you can't smell the poop water.

Readers' Choice: Papago Golf Course

Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain.

Readers' Choice: Golfland/Sunsplash

Lately, the pick of many Valley teams and tournament players has been Game-On, a sprawling assortment of fields (including one fashioned like a castle and another like a marketplace) located near 67th Avenue and Southern. For the strapped splatter junkie, Game-On's prices are hard to beat: The noob-friendly park offers trial games for five bucks, including all equipment, and allows a BYO paint policy for experienced players. For the best team speedball action, say those in the know, show up Sunday afternoons -- and prepare to leave looking like a bruised bag of Skittles.

Lesser known than the Lost Dutchman State Campground just to the east, Usery Pass is usually less populated. It offers advantages that come with being close to civilization, but all the amenities you enjoy while camping out: starry skies, scenic vistas, the smell of campfires and the howling of coyotes at night.

Black Mountain is where we go to escape the throngs. This landmark straddling Carefree/Cave Creek gives us the best of all worlds. The terrain's breathtakingly beautiful, scattered with black slate and lush with natural greenery. It's a workout, too, since it's 3,396 feet to the summit. When we finally make it to the top, we're treated to some of the prettiest views of Arizona we can imagine.

But Black Mountain also is deserted most of the time. In fact, it's rare to see more than two fellow hikers during an hourlong hike. Must be the independent spirit Cave Creek has fiercely guarded since being settled in the 1870s by miners, ranchers and others looking to get away from it all; the base of Black Mountain was their camp of solitude.

Now, it's ours.

The trailhead is so isolated, though, that casual hikers should bring a hiking buddy. And wear your heavier-soled boots. The sharp rocks will quickly bruise your feet in weak shoes. And, of course, bring plenty of water.

An even quicker alternative may be to start from the First Water Trailhead six miles east of Apache Junction on Highway 88. The dirt road from Highway 88 to the trailhead is only two miles long and the scenery is also spectacular, with a great view of Weaver's Needle. You can take either the Second Water Trail or the much longer Dutchman Trail, which connects on the other side of the Superstitions with the Peralta Trailhead.

(Directions: Take U.S. 60 east to Gold Canyon and continue east until you see the brown National Forest sign for Peralta. From the highway, it's seven miles on a sometimes-washboarded dirt road. Four-wheel drive is recommended but not necessary.)

One drawback for this fall, though. As it has with much of Arizona's vegetation, this year's drought has taken its toll on the plant life in the arboretum. This autumn likely will be a replay of last year, when severe heat and dry conditions played havoc with the usual spectacular colors. Think of it as a muted palette.

This stretch of Trail 100 recalls the old days. It winds in and out of washes, down through a valley, all the way to Tatum Boulevard, three or four miles away, as the cactus wren flies. Or you can wander off on any number of side trails, north into the flats of the Phoenix Mountains Preserve near 40th Street, uphill and south toward 36th Street, or even work your way around to Squaw Peak Recreation Area to jeer at the hiking lemmings.

Readers' Choice for Best City Hiking Trail: Squaw Peak

It's only 2.5 miles from the trailhead to Flatiron, one of those cruelly majestic sentinels of the Superstition Mountains.

The problem is, the last .9 mile climbs 1,700 feet through rock and cactuses from an area called The Basin, which is a meniscus-buster hike in itself.

This final accent has the withering grade of a climb from a front-range high lake to the Continental Divide. Here, though, the rocks are more jagged, the snakes more venomous and the vegetation more potentially flesh-ripping. Now factor in the broiling Valley sun and, well, this ain't no stroll through the park.

That said, it's a spectacular hike, both as you climb into the towering cragginess and as you descend (oh so carefully) with a panoramic view of the East Valley.

Park rangers advise that only experienced hikers who are in good condition attempt the five-hour Flatiron hike. If you're going to try it, make sure you bring two liters of water, be careful where you place your hands, and -- most important -- watch your step.

Well, good luck with that at Snake Hole, which isn't so much a golf course as it is an undeveloped quarter section of gravel and scrub by U.S. 60. Indeed, it's just a chunk of desert that the Countryside RV Resort across the street decided to call a golf course. Where there isn't scrub is fairway, and the desert in the general vicinity of each cup is the green.

Like St. Andrews, this is a "bump-and-run" course. You bump the ball, which scratches the club, and the ball runs through the desert, scratching the ball. Balls rolling in the fairway tend to divert into the scrub, balls hit toward the scrub tend to divert toward the fairway. It's Midwestern Pasture Golf brought to the desert -- absolutely unpretentious, silly, hot, ugly fun. Viva la Apache Junction!

There's one caveat: You'll need to play with somebody who has his or her fifth wheel parked over at Countryside. (There are about 200 members of the course. Yearly dues are $5.) Snake Hole is a nine-hole, par-29 course, but it's safe to say nobody here cares about his score.

Readers' Choice for Best Golf Course: Troon North

The immaculately tailored course wraps in around a little desert nub called Dinosaur Mountain. The aesthetic power, though, comes from how the foreground of twisting lime green fairways and desert prospects frame the Superstition Mountains just to the north. The color and gentle forms of a championship golf course play against the brutal majesty of the Superstitions. Such contrast dazzles the eye and . . . ARGHH! There went another two strokes!

If you want to score, keep your head down.

If you're not filthy rich, you can play the Dinosaur Course on off-season weekdays for $39. Even in August, the heat is bearable, thanks to winds whipping down from the mountains.

In season, though, greens fees will run you around $150, same as many of the Phoenix area's best courses.

So don't forget your camera -- and a couple dozen balls.

Built around 1350, the four-story Big House sits at the center of a small Hohokam farming community that was part of a much larger network of Hohokam villages. The building may have been part observatory, part trade center, part food-storage bin -- archaeologists are still trying to understand its full significance to the community.

According to the comprehensive information center, the Big House was just a small part of a sophisticated culture that used an expansive canal system to prosper in a hostile environment. Sound familiar? They built the original Phoenix that then rose from the ashes.

Everything required for the pro cycling buff to shimmer and glisten in the peleton, to glide over mountain passes, to hammer in team time trials, to round dicey corners in criteriums, to take that first roll on the road to the Olympics, is available here, from team apparel and triathlon training diaries to Greg LeMond bikes and Eddy Merckx books. Domenic's Cycling staff makes vélo its mojo and offers custom bike building, ace advice and gracious service.

Readers' Choice for Best Bike Shop: Tempe Bicycle

Sure, it may not be too long before some entrepreneur tries to plant a Starbucks at the summit, but for now, we claim this mountain as our own.

It wasn't so bad. Peaceful, actually. Not that walking a labyrinth will change your life -- at least not in our book. Still, we did find it invigorating, in spite of our cynical selves. The act of walking a labyrinth is an ancient one, practiced by people for centuries. It is not a maze; there is no way to get lost. The journey of twists and turns through the labyrinth is thought to represent the journey through life. Some people say they find their god; others believe the act can heal.

This particular labyrinth, located in a quiet patch of desert at the foot of Mummy Mountain, is constructed of river rocks; it is roughly the size of a small residential swimming pool. Each of the nine guests in our party took turns slowly walking between the rocks, winding around and around and ending up in the middle, where folks have left trinkets and notes scrawled on scraps of paper and business cards, à la Jerusalem's Wailing Wall. Then back again.

Maybe it was the beautiful, almost-spring day, maybe the company, maybe the labyrinth itself, but we felt happy and peaceful upon completing our short journey, which lasted no more than five minutes, round-trip. We didn't snicker once.

Around the outside of the labyrinth, people have used rocks to leave their own messages: "Love" -- "Peace" -- "Why not?"

Why not, indeed.

Jesse Wade hopes so. Wade has been giving off-road tours of Tonto National Forest for 10 years and finds that Grand Canyon-eschewing tourists are mighty impressed with his Hummer-handling ability. His four-hour tours cost $90 per person and include Wade's sometimes manic yet highly educational narration on desert plants, desert animals and the Valley's ongoing environmental crisis.

Thank goodness for Chaparral Park, with its fenced, 1.3 acres of lush grass, trees and, on any given day, as many as 150 pets with people. Here's where our pampered pooches come to mix, mingle and, yes, sniff butts, with fellow canines enjoying a taste of off-leash freedom. The park's open until 9 p.m. daily, and it's usually packed around 7:30 p.m. Our pup's been socialized, so he knows how to behave with his new buds (no fighting, no biting).

And if we're lucky, we just might find a new friend of our own, too. Someone who loves pets as much as we do -- but no butt sniffers need apply.

While the helmet law keeps our ears from flapping, nothing lets us experience all the sounds, textures and smells of our Sonoran landscape better than a motorcycle ride along a desert road.

And nothing brings the earth closer to us than a ride that takes us north on Pima Road, where we head east on Cave Creek Road and then out to Bartlett Dam. Sometimes we see mule deer, bald eagles, javelinas and coyotes. We also see a splendid array of indigenous desert plants -- majestic saguaro, mesquite trees and blooming ocotillo. At the lake, we preside over more than 2,815 acres of sparkling blue water. And if we time it just right, we head back west just as the sun soaks into the mountains of Cave Creek, capping our adventure with shimmering watercolors.

Oh, did we mention you must rent a $105 to $150-per-day pool cabana for admission? "¡Ay, Cabana!" is right. But you can also bring along four friends and play in your private lounge area, and surely those Billmore (or is it Bilkmore?) fogies don't keep track of every towel.