The first thing you absolutely need to know about Cinco de Mayo is that -- despite what your inebriated friends might claim -- it isn't a celebration of Mexico's secession from Spain. And that's a fact. (That particular holiday is in September, gringo.) You'll have plenty of opportunities to set the record straight and share this tidbit with the masses, as there are a multitude of fiestas and fetes that will celebrate Cinco (pretty much one of the biggest drinking holidays of the year) both this weekend and on the fifth of May.

Its good news for anyone who'd want to get in as much partying as possible and for those who might have to report to work on the day after. At any rate, most bars, clubs, and nightlife establishments around the Valley will have some sort of Cinco-inspired festivities (likely with a surplus of tequila and cerveza on hand) happening on Tuesday, May 5, or on the weekend prior. That includes any of the following options, which run the gamut from Latin dance events and some more traditional celebrations to flat-out rowdy affairs, all of which are some of the best choices for your pesos.