KUPD's John Holmberg Chats About MILFs, Naked Grandmas, and Mom Farts

The Big Red Radio, known by its longtime call-letters 98 KUPD, is known for putting on big productions, like UFest, the End of Summer Scorcher, and the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival. Concert events and heavy music are the station's bread and butter, but the unique and hilarious contests they stage provide almost as much entertainment. Competitions like, say, the annual MILF (you know what MILF stands for) contest that radio personality John Holmberg runs ramping up to Mother's Day.

Who doesn't love MILFs? They're raising the next generation of little badasses and looking awesome at the same time. Holmberg puts out the call for hot moms each year and, boy, do they answer: There currently are more than 50 contestants posted on KUPD's website, all poised for a chance to be dubbed the hottest MILF in the land and win the grand prize: a trip for two to Bamboozle Fest to see the Foo Fighters, plus $500 in spending cash.

So how do they really pick these MILFs out? God knows the Valley of the Sun attracts the hot ones like Occupy Oakland attracts hippies. We talked with Holmberg about his role in the mother-lovin' (and grandmother-lovin', we might add) show.

Up on the Sun: When did the MILF contest start?

John Holmberg: I think we're eight, maybe nine years into it by now.

And how did you guys come up with deliciously inappropriate idea?

We were kinda just joking around, saying that there's always a contest or beauty pageant, but there isn't one for moms. So for Mother's Day we do a mom beauty pageant. And the idea just blew up.

What are some of the most interesting entries you've seen?

We have grandmothers. We have wild, interesting contestants. Some are just shocking, you know? Most of the time it's a lot of women who want to be sexy and dirty and out there, and this is an outlet for them to go crazy.

So. Have you gotten any naked pictures of grandmothers?

I'm gonna say no, but that's a lie. I keep those in a very private place. As I get older, grandmothers become more interesting . . .

What rock song would you associate with the contest?

Actually, every Wednesday before the contest we have a theme for that year, and play songs that pertain to that. But if I had to choose, I'd have to go with Danzig's "Mother" or Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch" -- any song with the word bitch in it, really, seems appropriate. This year, I need to think about it, I'm personally hoping that the new song from Foxy Shazam is picked. I like it. I think the lyrics, "It's the biggest black ass I've ever seen and I like it" would be appropriate. Especially for a more diverse winner.

So on the entry form, you guys have a question about the contestant's worst habit or personal flaw. I'm sure you've had some really disgusting answers.

The questionnaires are really a big piece of how we choose the women. You get a wide range of answers . . . some have 20 year old kids and are experienced, so their answers are so much more crazy and weird in their own way, and the younger MILFs, who have answers that pertain more to their age group. We kind of base it on their answers. It's not just all about looks. Sometimes some of the worst . . . some girls are wide open. One girl said her worst habit was drug use. One girl said she bit her toe nails. Another one said she makes a habit of farting. I mean, everyone farts, but when you're making a habit of it? Repulsive.

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Lauren Wise has worked as a rock/heavy metal journalist for 15 years. She contributes to Noisey and LA Weekly, edits books, and drinks whiskey.
Contact: Lauren Wise