There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, goes the old Paul Simon tune, but most of them do not involve murder, mayhem, and the occasional car bomb. Here are 15 that we do not recommend you imitate, performed in various violent ways over the years by Arizonans.
15) Jodi Arias, June 4, 2008: Stabbed sex-partner Travis Alexander nearly 30 times while he was taking a shower. Also, slit his throat from ear to ear and shot him in the face.
14) Jessica Burlew, January 18, 2014: Strangled her 43-year-old male lover with an extension cord during kinky sex.
13) Dorothy Dutiel, February 12, 2016: Allegedly borrowed a gun from a male friend at Glendale's Independence High School, then on the Friday before Valentine's Day weekend shot her 15-year-old lesbian lover on campus, and afterward, herself.
12) Glenn Edward Baxter, October 17, 2015: Intentionally drove his wife's silver Nissan SUV into Tempe Town Lake, killing himself, his wife and their three children, ages 3, 2, and 1.
11) Kenneth Dale Wakefield, July 25, 2015: Allegedly cut off his wife's head, decapitated her two dogs, then chopped off his left arm and gouged out one of his eyes, all while naked and high on pot and Spice.
10) J.T. Ready, May 2, 2012: Shot and killed his girlfriend and three others, including a baby girl, before emulating his hero Adolf Hitler by turning the gun on himself.
9) Valerie Pape, January 23, 2000: Shot her husband, dismembered his body, and tossed the headless, bagged torso into a trash bin behind a supermarket in Mesa.
8) Robert William Fisher, April 10, 2001: Allegedly shot his wife execution-style, slashed the throats of his two kids, ages 10 and 12, then blew up his Scottsdale home by igniting a gas leak. He remains at large, on the FBI's most wanted list.
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7) Teresa Imel, July 28, 1999: Together with her teenage daughter, promised a mentally challenged, meth-peddling car-wash attendant $500 to throw acid in her Wal-Mart executive husband's face, then bludgeon, choke, and stab him to death.
6) Wendi Andriano, October 8, 2000: Poisoned her already-ill husband with sodium azide capsules, then attacked him in his weakened state, striking him 20 times with a bar stool and stabbing him in the neck with a 13-inch knife.
5) Marissa DeVault, January 14, 2009: Bludgeoned her husband to death with a claw hammer as he slept.
4) Pamela Phillips, November 1, 1996: Hired boyfriend Ronald Young to murder her ex-husband, Tucson businessman Gary Triano, whose life she had insured for $2 million. Triano was blown to smithereens with a remote-controlled pipe bomb that was beneath his Lincoln Town Car.
3) Charles Schmid, "the Pied Piper of Tucson," August 16, 1965: Strangled his girlfriend Gretchen Fritz and her sister, Wendy, fearing that they would tell authorities that he had killed another girl, Alleen Rowe, for the thrill of it.
2) Bob Crane's murderer, June 29, 1978: Bludgeoned to death in his Scottsdale apartment, supposedly by a camera tripod, though the murder weapon was never found. An electrical cord also was tied around his neck. Suspects include Crane's ex-pal John Carpenter, later acquitted of the murder, and any number of scorned lovers.
1) Steven Steinberg, May 28, 1981: Stabbed his wife Elana 26 times with a kitchen knife in the bedroom of their Scottsdale home, claimed that he had been sleepwalking and pleaded temporary insanity from his wife's supposed constant nagging. He was acquitted in 1982, shocking the nation.